I like a guy who has a gf and I think he likes me

[Ruby212]

I started working in the company I'm in now 2 years ago. There was this guy on a different team, nice pleasant, we got on well but I didnt really know him. Then he moved to my team and became my supervisor. We got on like a house on fire. Always chatting having a joke. We email each other through out the day chatting. Now we text eachother daily and exchange photos, snap chat etc. It's all very innocent but I cant help feel that it feels wrong as he has a fiance. At first I saw him just as a friend but as time went on I realised that I was beginning to have feelings for him.

We had a few work nights out and it always seemed to be me and him left at the end of the night. He lives quite close to where we were out so he invited me back to his to spend the night as he didnt want me getting a taxi home alone. I of course declined. The thing is his finace was at home but he wasnt saying it like that he was like you can sleep in the spare room its not a problem. We have had a few other nights out since then and he always offers but of course I decline.

we seems to be texting each other more and more now. We have another work night out soon and I'm thinking should I take him up on his offer? Should I go back to his and see what happens? I know its so bad but I can't help how I feel and I think he feels the same way.

Please if anyone could lend some advice I would greatly appreciate it.

thanks,

Ruby.

[d0nnivain]

OMG No. You should not take him up on his offer. This guy is not a friend. He's your boss! he also has a fiance.

 

You need to get transferred to another team.

 

Trying anything with him is a good way to get your heart broken & get your career ruined. Yikes!

 

If for no other reason, remember this -- if he cheats with you, he will cheat on you.

 

This guy is a cad. Stay away. Far away.

 

When you do go out for team things, make sure you are the 2nd person to leave. Never again let it be just you & him left because after adding alcohol, you will say yes & then there will be a horrible mess.

[ScienceGal]

No

No

NO!

 

You're asking for an epic **** storm, and you'll get it.

 

How would you feel if you were his fiancé?

 

Is a man who would cheat on his fiancé the kind of man you want to be involved with? Don't think for a moment "yeah, but what we have is special and he wouldn't ever do that to me...". You're connection is not special. Cheaters cheat and he would do it to you.

 

Have some self respect and integrity. Find a single man to pursue.

[Ruby212]

Thanks for your advice. You are right, its just hard at the same time when you like someone. I'm just gonna steer clear. If its meant to be he will leave his fiancé and maybe we could get together in the future but I don't want to be involved in ruining someone else's relationship and people getting hurt.

[m4p]

Could it be possible that it's entirely platonic on his side and you're reading too much into things? I don't see how a man would offer to bring a woman home where his fiancée is around. If he's interested and want things to go further he would probably keep you away from his partner. It could also be possible that she knows about you as his subordinate and is completely okay with him taking care of you, maybe even as a little sister?

 

But if he really is interested, then please don't let yourself into this situation. It's not worth it. You need someone who is 100% available and honest and trust me there is definitely someone out there that can give you what you deserve. Don't let yourself down by being the third party.

 

I don't really advocate the whole "if it's meant to be it will be" thing but if it helps you from straying into a possible mess, then YES.

 

Hope you can draw the line and good luck!

[Dancewithme]

No, my God, No. This is career- killing and self-esteem blasting. Move to a new team. If you can't move to a new team, never be the last to leave so it's you and him, and do all you can within your job requirements to avoid being alone with him.

 

It is not uncommon to feel attraction to folks we work with. Close, regular proximity can cause feelings to develop. It doesn't mean it's destiny, or meant to be. It's just human pheromones. Kinda like when several young ladies live together as roommates, siblings, work long hours together, their menstrual periods synchronize. Human pheromones.

 

Just because you feel the attraction, doesn't mean you have to act on it. Ignore it, keep distance, stop obsessing, it will pass.

 

It is very likely , as someone mentiononed, that he is just trying to look out for a subordinate. Or he's a creep. You will never know, because you will never accept his offer.

 

If you are all in knots over someone else's boyfriend, you are not keeping yourself open and available to meeting someone who is free to be with you.