Jump to content

Threats to tell MM's wife- Riddle me this


Recommended Posts

ok, when a MM and his AP get into fights and she threatens to tell his wife, isn't that the point where the MM should bow out? I mean he has a potential ticking time bomb on his hands. Wouldn't common sense tell him to find a way to end things and extricate himself from a messy situation?

 

 

Why is that the time that this particular MM chooses to profess his undying love and devotion to AP? When SHE was the one that broke things off to begin with? She has tons of evidence in her arsenal, pictures, texts, emails, gifts, that could destroy MM's live in a heartbeat. Yet this fool keeps giving her more. Keeps texting how much he loves her and can't afford to lose her, keeps giving her more evidence to compile, sending her pictures of his children, begging her to stay with him, etc etc.

 

 

Can someone shed light on what could possibly be going on in his head? He clearly doesn't want the AP to destroy his family, but he still won't disentangle himself from her. What the hell is that?

Link to post
Share on other sites
GorillaTheater

Could be what Louise describes. That's pretty accurate for most of them, I imagine.

 

Or he could be a loon.

 

Or he could be afraid that she's going to go all Fatal Attraction on him and is trying to placate her until he figures out a way to fake his own death.

  • Like 6
Link to post
Share on other sites

He's trying to calm her down so she 1) won't tell the Mrs. and 2) won't stop the ego stroke supply. He is trying to get her back into the A, because it's best for him. and he doesn't believe she will really 'out' him. It's possible she has a lot to lose by blowing the whistle, too, so he figures she won't do it.

 

Either way, my advise is the same: Pick up your ball and go home. Just stop interacting with this person. If you want it over, then end it.

  • Like 8
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

My thoughts were that the AP seems to be an unstable person and if I were MM, I would run far far away at the first mention of these threats. How can you trust someone who does/says that?

Link to post
Share on other sites
eye of the storm

You can't ascribe common sense reality to a situation that is based on fantasy and lies.

 

Also, many WS have the idea that they can control it all. So the thought that the AP might actually blow up their world is not to them a real threat. In their mind everything revolves around them and is for them.

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites

It really doesn't matter the reason. Maybe he really loves/needs the AP.

 

The point is, if it is over and AP has ended it it makes no difference. Change numbers, block email, move on.

 

Good luck.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
imperfectangel
My thoughts were that the AP seems to be an unstable person and if I were MM, I would run far far away at the first mention of these threats. How can you trust someone who does/says that?

 

 

It's a bit rich to talk about a mm's problems with trusting his ow

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
It's a bit rich to talk about a mm's problems with trusting his ow

 

You may not like it but generally speaking MM and OW DO have a pretty high level of trust for one another. I trusted mine implicitly during the A and still do.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
Could be what Louise describes. That's pretty accurate for most of them, I imagine.

 

Or he could be a loon.

 

Or he could be afraid that she's going to go all Fatal Attraction on him and is trying to placate her until he figures out a way to fake his own death.

 

Oh Gorilla, you have made my day! That reminded me of my husbands dilemma a long long time ago.

 

I haven't laughed till my sides hurt in such a long time, thank you!

 

Sorry for the thread jack everyone, please carry on.....

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

Last week my xAP contacted me annoying me to the point I messaged his BS and told her to have him leave me alone.. We are supposed to be NC, at least I am. He said he forgives me and called me again yesterday. Not sure what to make of it honestly but some just don't care, or think they can control the situation.

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites

When I'd get crazy anxious and threaten to tell W (which ultimately I did) the exMM would do the exact same thing. He'd lay it on thicker, send gifts, letters...tons of incriminating stuff. When I told him I told his wife he said he didn't care, he loved me. I think he was both insane and trying to quell me. Who knows...the whole dynamic is so messed up...you don't see it until you are out. It's something like being in a cult...you do stuff that is out of keeping with your normal persona.

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
ok, when a MM and his AP get into fights and she threatens to tell his wife, isn't that the point where the MM should bow out? I mean he has a potential ticking time bomb on his hands. Wouldn't common sense tell him to find a way to end things and extricate himself from a messy situation?

 

 

Why is that the time that this particular MM chooses to profess his undying love and devotion to AP? When SHE was the one that broke things off to begin with? She has tons of evidence in her arsenal, pictures, texts, emails, gifts, that could destroy MM's live in a heartbeat. Yet this fool keeps giving her more. Keeps texting how much he loves her and can't afford to lose her, keeps giving her more evidence to compile, sending her pictures of his children, begging her to stay with him, etc etc.

 

 

Can someone shed light on what could possibly be going on in his head? He clearly doesn't want the AP to destroy his family, but he still won't disentangle himself from her. What the hell is that?

 

 

trying to cya (cover your arse) or his in this case

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
When I'd get crazy anxious and threaten to tell W (which ultimately I did) the exMM would do the exact same thing. He'd lay it on thicker, send gifts, letters...tons of incriminating stuff. When I told him I told his wife he said he didn't care, he loved me. I think he was both insane and trying to quell me. Who knows...the whole dynamic is so messed up...you don't see it until you are out. It's something like being in a cult...you do stuff that is out of keeping with your normal persona.

 

 

this exactly

Link to post
Share on other sites
Last week my xAP contacted me annoying me to the point I messaged his BS and told her to have him leave me alone.. We are supposed to be NC, at least I am. He said he forgives me and called me again yesterday. Not sure what to make of it honestly but some just don't care, or think they can control the situation.

 

 

that's actually a new one I have seen where OW tells BS and MM doesn't care

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin
ok, when a MM and his AP get into fights and she threatens to tell his wife, isn't that the point where the MM should bow out? I mean he has a potential ticking time bomb on his hands. Wouldn't common sense tell him to find a way to end things and extricate himself from a messy situation?

He knows she's crying wolf and it's an empty threat, that's why.

 

How many times can you make threats and NOT back them up before someone knows you're full of sh*t?

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
gettingstronger

I don't know why anyone would want to be involved in any type of relationship where they either need to make threats or are on the receiving end of threats- I know my husbands A had so much drama in it and I am still baffled why he stayed in it- he usually hates drama- I think getting addicted to the highs and lows of dramas is what sometimes keeps people involved- I don't understand it, but it does seem to be a common theme-

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
that's actually a new one I have seen where OW tells BS and MM doesn't care

 

He doesn't care, yet he won't leave his wife......makes me wonder why anyone would want this catch.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
When I'd get crazy anxious and threaten to tell W (which ultimately I did) the exMM would do the exact same thing. He'd lay it on thicker, send gifts, letters...tons of incriminating stuff. When I told him I told his wife he said he didn't care, he loved me. I think he was both insane and trying to quell me. Who knows...the whole dynamic is so messed up...you don't see it until you are out. It's something like being in a cult...you do stuff that is out of keeping with your normal persona.

 

My xMM actually owed me money from a trip we took and that I paid for and when I got fed up of his ignoring my requests for the money, I threatened to out him, but the moron decided to add fuel to the fire by not paying back and telling me I was harassing him instead of kissing my butt and trying to resolve the issue. I called his wife but hung up. It's not something I want to be a part of. It's not that I care about him still, it's just that I don't want to blow up his world as he will do it to himself at some point in the future. Why should I be associated with it?

Link to post
Share on other sites
whatatangledweb

Sometimes they go back because they are trying to keep them from telling and blowing up their lifes , while they figure out how to do it without their spouses finding out. That is what happened with my husband. Didn't work out for him as I figuring it after she demanded something that ended up with red flags flying all over for me.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

My guess is as good as anybody's but IMO MM actually enjoy the bonding they have with wives after the drama of OW telling. These BS that ignore their husbands, wear sweats, no makeup and are boring in bed all of a sudden find their femininity. But it doesn't last long which is why MM come back. Very sad if you think about it that their lives are so uninteresting together that they need that jolt.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey that makes me think from another side - BS gave MM so many times (i.e. > 5 times already) ultimatum, such as "if you ever see OW, I will leave", but again Affair still goes on STRONG which means MM still seeing OW and wife is still there. Ultimatum is just a joke I guess.

 

 

Even MM himself said those ultimatum turns out be a kind of routine from BS. What do you think of this?

 

 

 

He knows she's crying wolf and it's an empty threat, that's why.

 

How many times can you make threats and NOT back them up before someone knows you're full of sh*t?

Edited by Mount
  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
gettingstronger
Hey that makes me think from another side - BS gave MM so many times (i.e. > 5 times already) ultimatum, such as "if you ever see OW, I will leave", but again Affair still goes on STRONG which means MM still seeing OW and wife is still there. Ultimatum is just a joke I guess.

 

 

Even MM himself said those ultimatum turns out be a kind of routine from BS. What do you think of this?

 

 

 

I think the only one coming out on the good end is the MM- the OW knows he won't leave his wife, his wife won't leave him and yet there they all three are- playing their own roles in the mess and pointing fingers at who is the weakest one- yuck!

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites
My guess is as good as anybody's but IMO MM actually enjoy the bonding they have with wives after the drama of OW telling. These BS that ignore their husbands, wear sweats, no makeup and are boring in bed all of a sudden find their femininity. But it doesn't last long which is why MM come back. Very sad if you think about it that their lives are so uninteresting together that they need that jolt.

 

It is sad and it's just as sad for the OW to keep taking him back.

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites

Interesting, the other perspective by "Poppy47"(in another thread of post) regarding whether MM is the really winner here is different.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/other-man-woman/547582-he-will-never-leave-his-wife-you-10.html#post6570122

 

 

I think the only one coming out on the good end is the MM- the OW knows he won't leave his wife, his wife won't leave him and yet there they all three are- playing their own roles in the mess and pointing fingers at who is the weakest one- yuck!
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...