Finding your exMM/exMW on Ashley Madison list

[LikeAFriend]

I recently discovered my exMM’s name was on the Ashley Madison hack list. Strangely enough, I felt relief with this discovery bc it validates everything that I have been pondering about for the past few months. The “affair” bubble was burst and the reality of our situation. That is, there were other women and I was foolish to believe he wanted to commit to me. The fog has been cleared now. But I’m curious tho…

 

Has anyone else found their MM/MW/exMM/exMW on this list? What are your feelings on him/her being on this list? Would you consider telling them about your discovery? Has this change the way you view them and your relationship?

[nikki76]

Did he actually use his real name? Yikes!

[goodyblue]

That's what you get for dating Josh Duggar.

[amomwhoknows]

You can search by email address and I am guessing that many MM use the same fake email adddress for everything.

 

Given the numbers of men vs women (real ones anyway) hard to think how any man really meant someone on there.

[autumnnight]

Since I would already know he was a cheater, it wouldn't surprise me.

[NewLeaf512]

I am doing some legal consulting on the AM debacle.

 

 

A very large mega corp has over 2000 people signed up with their work email (absolutely astounding) primarily in the UK and USA. I have the entire data stack and man all I can say is wow. The dump was 9.7G compressed and contained about 6 different database types (CRM for example) and also the entire messaging database which they backed up twice a day. I thought I had imagined every sexual scenario imaginable.

 

 

Not. Even. Close.

 

 

The points of law around this hack are tremendous. I just can't look at any more data, I want to just think about law.

 

 

Tonight's idea: I am contending you gibe up your reasonable right to privacy when you take nude photos of YOURSELF (cant be argued you didn't know you were photographed) and then sent them over an ISP I the instance a VPN wasn't used, and sent it to someone you'd never met or in face several.

 

 

Being an exOW and suffering trust issues, well this is a whole other stratosphere of A

[Tobin]

If you're having an affair with a married person then you already know they have questionable ethics and morals and they have no problem deceiving the person with whom they made lifelong vows.

 

So why would it matter if you found them on a cheaters site?

 

If they cheated on their married partner why wouldn't they cheat on their current partner?

 

Do you think you are any more special than anyone else?

[Whisper Quiet]

Yes. I found xMM on the AM hack list.

 

 

He used an email address that was his first initial and last name @ xxxxx.com. This is the only address I knew if for him but he could have other emails too.

 

Just the week before he had used a pathetic excuse to fish and see if I would talk to him or was receptive to restarting. Nope. I was not nice either.

 

There are many, many reasons NOT to be with him. This was just one more to add to the list.

 

There is no point in confronting as would just lie, deny and minimize. He is highly skilled at redirecting and fast talking. If that does not work he resorts to cajoling, guilting, and manipulation.

 

I do not want to give one more second of my time to someone like this.

[Starbright78]

I'm an ExOw that was on AM and met my ExMM there. I went on out of curiosity and ended up exchanging a few messages with him and it took off. At the time, I thought I knew what I was getting into and really thought it was a no drama guaranteed thing. We both knew what we were in it for and was upfront with each other. No leaving each other's family's etc. Sounds crazy. Do I believe that now? Heck no and I could kick myself in the ass for all of it. I was naive and stupid.

 

I found out that he was STILL on AM a few days before the hack was announced back in July. I knew something was off with him. Saw the profile that fit him to a T and asked for his picture. Within 2 hrs, my gut feeling was confirmed as he sent me his pic without even exchanging a word with me. He had opened up a new membership and changed his user name. We were supposed to have been exclusive for the last two yrs. I ended it and have been NC since then. I wasn't in love but I cared for him. It hurt and still hurts and I'm a month and a half in.

 

When all this info was released, I looked up both his old username and new and found out he'd spent almost $600 on the site and has been a member since 2011. He was a serial cheater who I believed when he said he hadn't done anything like this before.

Lesson learned...both from the website and having an affair, never again.

[NewLeaf512]

I'm an ExOw that was on AM and met my ExMM there. I went on out of curiosity and ended up exchanging a few messages with him and it took off. At the time, I thought I knew what I was getting into and really thought it was a no drama guaranteed thing. We both knew what we were in it for and was upfront with each other. No leaving each other's family's etc. Sounds crazy. Do I believe that now? Heck no and I could kick myself in the ass for all of it. I was naive and stupid.

 

I found out that he was STILL on AM a few days before the hack was announced back in July. I knew something was off with him. Saw the profile that fit him to a T and asked for his picture. Within 2 hrs, my gut feeling was confirmed as he sent me his pic without even exchanging a word with me. He had opened up a new membership and changed his user name. We were supposed to have been exclusive for the last two yrs. I ended it and have been NC since then. I wasn't in love but I cared for him. It hurt and still hurts and I'm a month and a half in.

 

When all this info was released, I looked up both his old username and new and found out he'd spent almost $600 on the site and has been a member since 2011. He was a serial cheater who I believed when he said he hadn't done anything like this before.

Lesson learned...both from the website and having an affair, never again.

 

Starbright did you check your own email? AM used to charge a fee for "wiping you off their system" The parent company of AM had an IT department with wildly varied competencies and some got wiped and some didn't. If you find yourself on it send me a PM if you want and I can advise. NL

[Starbright78]

Starbright did you check your own email? AM used to charge a fee for "wiping you off their system" The parent company of AM had an IT department with wildly varied competencies and some got wiped and some didn't. If you find yourself on it send me a PM if you want and I can advise. NL

 

It's there. The email that I used happened to be an email that nobody else knows about besides the ExMM. My name isn't attached since I didn't use a credit card for anything. They actually had two different options to delete. The paying one was to permanently take you out of the system. The second was more or less to hide everything which is what I had done.

[goodyblue]

If you're having an affair with a married person then you already know they have questionable ethics and morals and they have no problem deceiving the person with whom they made lifelong vows.

 

So why would it matter if you found them on a cheaters site?

 

If they cheated on their married partner why wouldn't they cheat on their current partner?

 

Do you think you are any more special than anyone else?

 

 

My he's morals and ethics are not in question. Yes I think I am special to him and I trust him implicitly.

 

Thanks for asking.

[muchlovetogive]

Does anyone have the link to the list? I wanna see if my MM is on there. I've only found tons of articles about it. Thanks

[William]

If you're involved with a committed partner and found them on the hacked list of members on the web site in question, feel free to share the particulars and your impressions of that revelation here, focusing primarily on your relationship with that committed partner. Otherwise, we have a thread on Ashley Madison and the hacking of its database running in our Water Cooler forum. Thanks!

 

To save members the indignity of having their posting privileges removed for ignoring moderation's directives, here's the topic, once again:

 

Has anyone else found their MM/MW/exMM/exMW on this list? What are your feelings on him/her being on this list? Would you consider telling them about your discovery? Has this change the way you view them and your relationship?

Edited September 2, 2015 by William

[Popsicle]

I would love to check xMM's but I don't know how. I'm afraid to put his email address on some random site. Can someone advise?

[Sweetgirlie]

It's there. The email that I used happened to be an email that nobody else knows about besides the ExMM. My name isn't attached since I didn't use a credit card for anything. They actually had two different options to delete. The paying one was to permanently take you out of the system. The second was more or less to hide everything which is what I had done.

I can't pm you but want to know.. because I found my ex mm on there and he was a member since 2010!! It had credit card payment info and user name(s) and email but NO CC number ...

Waiting for when they release the messages and all hell breaks loose... really curious to read his and mine that got deleted... and see what else he was up to..Course they may not release that but... I want to know if my gut feelings were right!!

[Popsicle]

Are we allowed to post links? You can PM me if you wish and I can tell you how I checked my email.

 

You can PM me if you're able to, thank you.

[William]

If the link is to somewhere that doesn't have something for sale, it's within our guidelines. Discussion of PM's or soliciting PM contact on-forum is off-topic. If anyone wishes to know about our PM system, there's a thread to read. Did a minor cleanup and moderated a couple more people for ignoring our directives. On-topic discussion is encouraged. Thanks!

[flowergirl14]

Just google AM email list. I was able to see his (my h) email on 2 different leak sites and now i was able to see his username, d.o. b., Location on another..yep its him! How many cheaters are serial cheats? Probably a lot!

[Popsicle]

Just google AM email list. I was able to see his (my h) email on 2 different leak sites and now i was able to see his username, d.o. b., Location on another..yep its him! How many cheaters are serial cheats? Probably a lot!

 

I did but there are so many, I don't know which ones are trustworthy and which ones just want someone's email address to spam them.

 

Did you stay with your husband?

[flowergirl14]

I did but there are so many, I don't know which ones are trustworthy and which ones just want someone's email address to spam them.

 

Did you stay with your husband?

 

AM

 

Not sure if you will get spammed. However, i know the info i got was accurate.

 

Yes were still together.

[Starbright78]

AM

 

Not sure if you will get spammed. However, i know the info i got was accurate.

 

Yes were still together.

 

Popsicle- This is the one I used also and it's accurate.

[NewLeaf512]

Hi

 

 

I was reminded by the mods yesterday ( thank you mods) of rules and behaviour that must be adhered to in this forum. To be clear, I have given NO professional advice and I am going to put here on a peer to peer information sharing transfer only what is widely available as a remedy posted off over the internet and is free:

 

 

If IT IS YOU: YOU yourself and no one else who has had their information leaked, and you are living in EUROPE (if you don't know if your country is considered EUROPE Google your country name) There is a EUROPEAN Law called commonly "the RIGHT to BE FORGOTTEN" Law, that is intended to force, webmasters, search engines, etc. to remove information about YOU yourself or YOUR MINOR CHILDREN if the information COULD be deemed to be harmful to you in any way (impediment to finding a job could be an example) (cast undue shame on children) AND this is IMPORTANT: reflect information on EVENTS that are NO LONGER OCCURING) so if you are still in an A this isn't going to work.

here is the link to the Google site. It is very fast if you give them all the data and write it in an understandable way. They Require Proof of YOUR identity in the way of a scanned passport at a MINIMUM. Here is the Google link

https://support.google.com/websearch/troubleshooter/3111061?hl=en

 

 

In the field "Have you contacted the webmaster directly?" Your answer is NO as they are not contactable>

 

 

 

 

REMEMBER: The Hackivism sites GO UP EVERY DAY. Google yourself every day. You may have to do this several times.

Next Up: places Besides EUROPE

[NewLeaf512]

Hi

 

 

I was reminded by the mods yesterday ( thank you mods) of rules and behaviour that must be adhered to in this forum. To be clear, I have given NO professional advice and I am going to put here on a peer to peer information sharing transfer only what is widely available as a remedy posted off over the internet and is free:

 

 

If IT IS YOU: YOU yourself and no one else who has had their information leaked, and you are living in NORTH AMERICA There is NO PROVISION AT ALL for data Protection although there is currently a case before the SUPREME COURT. However you are still in with a chance, again AS LONG AS IT PERTAINS TO YOU.

 

 

On all these AM search sites, write to the WEBMASTER of the site (their email address generally appears at the bottom of the first page) And explain your situation and make it compelling, it's their site, they can take you off.

 

 

Google MAY also help you. here is the link to the Google site. It is very fast if you give them all the data and write it in an understandable way. They Require Proof of YOUR identity in the way of a scanned passport at a MINIMUM. Here is the Google link

https://support.google.com/websearch/troubleshooter/3111061?hl=en

 

 

In the field "Have you contacted the webmaster directly?" Your answer SHOULD be YES and be prepared to back up with proof how you did so. In the free text field on the form, put " As in the case of Melvin v. Reid I wish to protect my anonymity, peace and freedom from unnecessary attacks on, reputation, character and social standing." Then describe WAYS in which this could harm you and Google MAY help you.

 

 

 

 

REMEMBER: The Hackivism sites GO UP EVERY DAY. Google yourself every day. You may have to do this several times.

[Pastypop]

Found mine on the list. He spent $1400.00 in five months. Can you believe that? And on a teacher's salary to boot!

 

On a good note, he was rushed to the emergency room and admitted to the hospital two days after the list came out. At the same time, his wife posted all over the internet how happy and in love they've been for the past 25 years! Really sad! Guess she hasn't seen the bills. It has been kind of amusing watching all this go down from a distance. What is it they say "chasing after women will kill man". Must be true.