ow who wants revenge

[9Lives]

I WANT TO HURT HIM. THAT IS THE BOTTOM LINE. I HAVE ALREADY TOLD HIS CO WORKERS THAT HE FOUND OUT HIS WIFE WAS CHEATING ON HIM BY A VIDEO TAPE. THEY FOUND IT VERY AMUSING AND I LOVED IT. I AM NOT DONE WITH HIM YET. EVERYWHERE THAT I GO, I AM GOING TO TELL TO HIS EMBARRASSMENT. THE GYM WHERE HE WORKS OUT AND EVERYTHING. I EVEN WANT TO CROSS THE LINE AND TELL HIS WIFE HOW DIRTY HE IS! THE BIG ONE.

 

YEAH I KNOW...YOU GUYS ARE SAYING WHY WOULD I DO THAT.....WELL I HATE THE WAY HE TREATED ME IN THE END....HE THREW ME AWAY LIKE DOG **** AND DIS RESPECTED ME....THE WHOLE TIME I MADE SACRIFICES FOR HIM, I DID WHAT HE WANTED, I WAS GOOD TO HIM....HE DID NOT APPRECIATE THAT....SO NOW....I AM GOING TO BE THE BIGGEST

WITCH HE EVER MET BECAUSE IT WAS TOTALLY UNCALLED FOR. HE USED ME AND IT WAS UNCALLED FOR. I HAVE NEVER BEEN USED AND I AM SO ANGRY ABOUT IT. I WANT TO STING HIM. I WANT HIM TO FEEL BETRAYED LIKE I DID. I WANT HIM TO KNOW WHAT IS IS LIKE TO BE DIS RESPECTED LIKE HE DIS RESPECTED ME AND NOT BE ABLE TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

 

I AM TOTALLY ENJOYING IT!!!

[moimeme]

And in your glorious 'revenge', you're telling everybody that you're the kind of woman who sleeps with other women's husbands. Way to go.

[indigo_moon]

Let me get this straight. You were having an affair with a married man whose wife was ALSO cheating on *him* and you figure you will be a revengeful "witch", as you put it, because he "disrespected you" etc. So now you're on a mission to trash him at work and make him look bad.

 

What the hell did you expect when you got involved with someone else's HUSBAND? Um, ding dong......hello? He wasn't yours "for the taking"...............of COURSE he was using you - for sex - you mean it took you this long to "clue in"? He owed you nothing...........which is what you got.

[9Lives]

OH WELL...THAT IS THE WAY IT GOES. I USED HIM FOR SEX TOO SO THAT IS NOT A BIG DEAL BUT TO BE A BUTT HOLE ABOUT IT..THAT IS WHAT HAS MADE ME MAD.

HE WALKED AWAY THE FIRST TIME...IT WAS COOL.

HE WANTED TO HOOK UP AGAIN...I AGREE TO IT, AND HE WALKED AWAY AGAIN...I WAS OKAY WITH IT AND WAS MOVING ON EVEN THOUGH I WAS KINDA HURT

HE ONCE AGAIN DECIDED TO COME AGAIN, AND WALKED AGAIN IN A NASTY WAY

I WANT REVENGE...

 

I DONT CARE WHO DONT LIKE IT

I DONT CARE WHO DOES AGREE WITH IT

I DONT CARE WHO DOES NOT UNDERSTAND IT.

 

HE KNOW WHY I AM SO ANGRY...TRUST ME ...HE TOTALLY UNDERSTANDS AND

THIS TIME...I AM GOING TO DISRESPECT HIM LIKE HE DISRESPECTED ME

[9Lives]

Originally posted by moimeme

And in your glorious 'revenge', you're telling everybody that you're the kind of woman who sleeps with other women's husbands. Way to go.

 

I DONT PLAN TO TELL THAT I WAS WITH HIM

I ONLY PLAN TO TELL THAT HIS WIFE CHEATED ON HIM AND HOW HE GOT THE NEWS.

I PLAN TO TELL ALL OF THE PERSONAL STUFF HE SHARED WITH ME

I HATE HIS GUTS!!!

[Patiently waiting]

Ok then, start talkin'!!! What personal stuff??? Can I help you put together a flyer? We can post it on all the lightposts and stop signs around town!! Whatever makes you feel better is ok with me, just as long as it doesn't involve guns or knives ya' know?

[Grinning Maniac]

Awww....you got disrespected? Who would have ever thought THAT would happen when you sleep with other peoples spouses?

 

You kind of brought this on yourself, genius. The man may be an a**h***, but you're just plain slow and gullable. Throw some of that anger your way as well. It's not exactly like you're a "victim" here.

[LucreziaBorgia]

Just don't go boiling any bunnies.

[GirlDown]

lose the caps, please.

 

oh, and what goes around comes around.

 

might i suggest a professional to help with your psychological issues? there are people who can help you.

 

good luck.

[9Lives]

Well I KNOW that I am partly the blame for it. I know that is true. You are absolutely right. I see that as well.

 

But while we were together

I was dating and stuff and he had a problem with it and asked me not to see anyone but him....i did it

 

I wanted me to buy him something for his birthday ...i did it

 

It was a couple other things that he asked of me that I did because I thought

we were friends. I did NOT want to be his wife. I just wanted to be respected.

So I am mad

 

I know you guys dont understand. It is more to the story. I just cant get into it all.

He is a user. I want revenge. I am going to do it. Period. He should have left me alone.

[9Lives]

Originally posted by GirlDown

lose the caps, please.

 

oh, and what goes around comes around.

 

might i suggest a professional to help with your psychological issues? there are people who can help you.

 

good luck.

 

 

It sure does!!!

[moimeme]

Um. You could have left him alone or told him to get lost, no?

[SixthSt.Girl]

Hee, hee, isn't revenge sweet sometimes? I would be tempted to do the same thing if I was in your shoes, but it sounds like this guy will bring himself misery. Does he treat his wife the same way? It sounds like his marriage isn't a good one by far, and he'll probably be alone before long and calling for you. That is the best revenge.

[GirlDown]

i don't understand these OWs that think they can demand all this respect.

 

if you're with a man who doesn't respect his wife enough not to f&ck other women, what makes you think he should he respect you? do you think you just so happen to be the woman he needed to make him learn his lesson and turn him into the model of faithfulness?

 

please. you signed up for this.

[9Lives]

Yes I could have. But I really thought we were friends. I wasnt looking for a long term relationship or for him to leave his wife or for him to make any changes for me. But I did want respect and I feel like he owed that to me because I did make changes for him. I was good him him and I am hurt that he handled the relationship like it he did. For what! Why would he have to be nasty. I did not call him, text him, try to catch up with him. He just came back, told me his sad story, wanted me to be with him again..then changed his mind, then tried to just walk away without telling me...he was gone again....why he do that?

[whichwayisup]

Be mad all you want...Scream, yell, smash a fist through a wall...Until you feel better. He is not worth all this effort.

 

Just remember even though he treated you badly, you allowed it and had an affair with him. Right or wrong it is not up to you to play god in other people's lives...Meaning exposing the affair that his wife had on him. Two wrongs do not make a right.

 

Get some therapy and anger managment done too. I don't mean that the way it may read, but better yourself from this experience, do not allow anyone to push you around...Or take control over your emotions. It is over now yet you obessing and wanting to 'get' him is just gonna make him think you are 'losing it' and just be careful that he doesn't call the cops on you and get a restraining order. He may just do that anyway.

 

I certainly hope there are no children involved in this situation. Scary.

 

Also, I think you are more MAD at yourself than him...For allowing him to DO this to you.

[moimeme]

Here's the thing. If he will lie about you he will lie to you. It's beyond nuts to think that if he'll lie to his wife that he'll be honest with you. Remember this for the rest of your life.

[9Lives]

I know I should just move on but I just cant seem to get over it. I feel like he is getting away with it and I dont want him to. I know I am wrong too. No doubt.

 

For me, it is like having a good friend...partners in crime so to speak. You share intimate things, you trust one another, you confide, and be there for one another. Then the other person just does you dirty...You are like why did you do that? I wasnt trying to hurt you.

 

That is how I feel. Is that wrong?

[quankanne]

For me, it is like having a good friend...partners in crime so to speak. You share intimate things, you trust one another, you confide, and be there for one another. Then the other person just does you dirty...You are like why did you do that? I wasnt trying to hurt you. That is how I feel. Is that wrong?

 

feelings aren't right are wrong, they just exist. However, it's not very logical to expect that in a relationship based on lies and subterfuge (you knew you were getting involved with a man who was beholden to another) you would be treated fairly. The minute you agreed to a relationship with him, you walked into a situation where the odds were automatically against you. My thought is that he didn't have a whole hell of a lot of respect for you in the first place to be in an illicit relationship with you, so it wasn't a very far reach for him to sh•tcan you the way he has.

 

revenge sounds good, but in the end it doesn't really right what's wrong. There's no way you'll ever get satisfaction you demand from a situation like that when it doesn't work out to your liking.

[Patiently waiting]

Originally posted by jvjrose

Yes I could have. But I really thought we were friends. I wasnt looking for a long term relationship or for him to leave his wife or for him to make any changes for me. But I did want respect and I feel like he owed that to me because I did make changes for him. I was good him him and I am hurt that he handled the relationship like it he did. For what! Why would he have to be nasty. I did not call him, text him, try to catch up with him. He just came back, told me his sad story, wanted me to be with him again..then changed his mind, then tried to just walk away without telling me...he was gone again....why he do that?

 

 

I am the same way with my MM, don't expect him to leave his wife etc. But to be a true friend you have to accept them unconditionally for who they are, if you can't and if their actions upset you, don't be friends with them. My MM doesn't ask me to do anything or buy anything for him because he knows he doesn't have the right to and vice versa. Just as if we were girl friends. I'm sure your best girl friend wouldn't ask you to to do that either unless she reciprocated regularly, right? I wouldn't give someone the time of day let alone be friends with them in the first place if they disrespected me, girl or guy. He obviously was not a true friend to you and no amount of you being one to him was going to change the "real him". You gave him too much credit and he let you. Not a very nice guy huh? You should be happy he's out of your life now. Don't let him fool you again.

[KissMyTiara]

Originally posted by whichwayisup

Also, I think you are more MAD at yourself than him...For allowing him to DO this to you.

 

 

Ain't that the truth.

[9Lives]

I am the same way with my MM, don't expect him to leave his wife etc. But to be a true friend you have to accept them unconditionally for who they are. My MM doesn't ask me to do anything or buy anything for him because he knows he doesn't have the right to and vice versa. Just as if we were girl friends. I'm sure your best girl friend wouldn't ask you to to do that either unless she reciprocated regularly, right? I wouldn't give someone the time of day if they disrespected me girl or guy. He obviously was not a true friend to you and no amount of you being one to him was going to change the "real him". You gave him too much credit and he let you. Not a very nice guy huh? You should be happy he's out of your life now. Don't let him fool you again.

 

That is it..I feel betrayed. I feel tramped over. I feel like he did not have to do that.

I promise you. I did not want that man. I guess it is kinda crazy to be so upset but I am. I need to leave it alone. But deep down inside I am just angry. I hate him. For me it is like a best friend stabbing you in the back. I am really crazy or something. He should have stay gone the 2nd time.

[9Lives]

Also, I think you are more MAD at yourself than him...For allowing him to DO this to you.

 

 

Yes, I am mad at myself. For trusting him. For getting involved with him. I am mad at myself.

[izzybelle]

jvjrose,

whether anyone else will agree or not, any of those who have been there know what the anger you're feeling feels like. how all consuming it can be, to feel betrayed and in your anger want to strike back at the person who has hurt you the most.

 

this will pass. when my MM ended things i was hurt. and much of that hurt eventually turned to anger. and there were so many times i had my little "plans" to hurt him back. he had given me some jewelry that, for me, held a lot of emotional value. his wife knew about me and there were so many times i wanted to put them in an envelope and mail them to her. not with any note, but just knowing that she would show them to him and he would know. i wanted to send him a particular piece of lingerie, again something that i knew he would recognize. but in the end, i didn't. it wasn't because i knew it would cause him pain, it wasn't because i knew it would cause him more trouble, i didn't do it because i know i'm better than that.

 

whether people think i'm naive or not, i know he didn't hurt me maliciously, the way things worked out weren't what either of us intended, it just unfortunately was the way it played out. i did expect, and so did he, that his marriage was over and we would be together, but in the end he did what he had to do. but losing the friendship is the hardest. mine was a LDR and i miss my phone and email buddy, but i know he has to figure this all out for himself.

 

the anger will pass. aside from a moment of "giving him what he deserves" you will get nothing from the revenge. he and his W, depending on how their situation works out will be getting enough revenge on each other! your best revenge is moving on, getting past him and beginning to feel that he's part of your past, one that you've learned from and have moved on.

[whichwayisup]

know I should just move on but I just cant seem to get over it. I feel like he is getting away with it and I dont want him to. I know I am wrong too. No doubt.

 

For me, it is like having a good friend...partners in crime so to speak. You share intimate things, you trust one another, you confide, and be there for one another. Then the other person just does you dirty...You are like why did you do that? I wasnt trying to hurt you.

 

That is how I feel. Is that wrong?

 

You are not wrong..You feel what you feel...used, abdonded, taken advantage of and very hurt..deeply hurt.

 

Please do not go after him. If you do that it just adds fuel to the fire and he probably is gonna get off on it. He is a bastard and you don't want to be caught up in this game. Cut all ties with him...Your silence is your weapon, your control over this and trust me babe...YOU WILL WIN...Get over him with the help of posting here, talking to friends and family...See a therapist to help you cope with all these emotions...Just don't waste your time on him. I can see in your words how much you are hurting and yes, be angry with yourself but DO NOT beat up on yourself either...Do NOT internalize this and make it about you...HE is the bastard here. Okay?? But venting is good and keep it coming because the more you get out the better you will feel.