StrungOut1975 Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 I've given my job notice that I will be leaving at the end of the summer. I've been trying to break free from the A for over 3 years but to no avail. Working w/my MM AP has been a no win situation and we all know the definition of insanity. The disappointing part is that the position is one I've worked many years for, it pays nicely and has many comforts, freedoms and perks. I seriously resent that I'm the one who has to leave but I have to do what I have to do and you can't put a price on sanity, health and a clean conscience. The A has ruined my life and I can't continue to be a passive participant in my own destruction (and I'm losing hair.. can't have that!) My question is this... How many of you have worked with your AP? If so, were you able to break free and continue working together? How did you do it? Is it practical to believe it can end if you have to see the person everyday? Side note.. My decision to leave is made. It will absolutely not work in my case. I'm just curious about your experiences Link to post Share on other sites
eye of the storm Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 We waited till my MM started his new job before we ended our A. I doubt if would have been easy to end it while working closely. I hope your new job is great. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
GoldieLox Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 I work with xAP. That's how we met. Hopefully by the end of July, I will no longer. The A has been over for months and it's still torture on me. I have to talk to him several times a week over the phone for work related issues only. I see his car. I see him in the hallway. It still triggers anger, sadness, and hurt in me. It's awkward for both of us. I've been looking for a new job for ages but have had to wait for the right one due to financial reasons. A new one came up in the same company but a different department. I would no longer have any contact whatsoever with him. I wouldn't even be working the same hours as him. It's more money and a wonderful opportunity for me as a career advancement. I'm very close to getting it. I'm excited and relieved to shut the final door between us. Granted, there has been really no personal contact for months with the exception of a letter from him which is another story, but I feel like leaving this job is the final door. Yes, I'm a little scared too. But I'm ready. Though nobody is putting a gun to my head and making me leave my job, I do also resent the fact that I feel this is my only out to get away from him. I shouldn't have to leave a job I'm comfortable in while he gets to keep his and waltz home to his totally oblivious wife everyday, but hey. I made my decisions, these are the consequences. At least I can lay my head on the pillow every night knowing I'm living an honest life now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author StrungOut1975 Posted June 25, 2015 Author Share Posted June 25, 2015 (edited) Goldie, good for you! Not only am I leaving the job, I am also leaving the state. I will be working remotely for my current company for a trial period and will have little to no contact (work related) with MM. I proposed it as a trial to give me time to save money and find something else while still having employment. I believe my triggers are majority visual so being over 1000 miles away will help and I will be so distracted by the new environment, setting up house and the new community that I won't have the energy to think about MM and will be focused on other things. If I still seem fixated and am making no progress, I will just end the trial. Like you, just pulling in and seeing his car sends me spiraling. I need relief. Many would say these measures are drastic but clearly, everything else is not working! How long was your A? How did your A end months ago? I know it's been torture but wow.... kudos to you for being able to still keep it NC. The push/pull happens every time we "break up" and that in and of itself is exhausting. p.s. I have no children and my family is already living in the state I'm moving to. Edited June 25, 2015 by StrungOut1975 Link to post Share on other sites
GoldieLox Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 The A was a year. As for it ending, if you go back through my posts you can find the whole story. I no longer have the desire to even share it these days, but to make a very long story short, I ended it because of too strong feelings. Then we started again and he ended it because of too strong feelings, and he did it in a really hurtful way. I was very damaged after the whole thing. I ended up having a self-induced D-Day a few months ago. I think it's wonderful you're leaving the state. I'd pack up and go to the opposite coast tomorrow if I could. Link to post Share on other sites
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