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wishful-thinking

So if someone read my story my 'looks-like-now-exMm' has hurt me after last time he saw me.. didn't communicate as I wished and expected him to and I felt very uncomfortable and hurt because of this after we had sex. When I tried to talk to him about it he defended himself and broke up with me telling me he cannot accommodate time for me and my concerns.

I feel sad as thought we were strongly in this all but reality proved otherwise which I now accepted and feel I need to move on.

My question is... do I delete an email account where we used to communicate? I had a separate account like he did for all our communication during the 2 + years. We only used it for that, nothing else was going through these logins. Since he/ we broke up last week we are both offline. I logged in there few times when I feel hurt or missing him, reread some emails and our last chats. It is like my precious space where I connect to him, the past the wonderful feelings we had and the latest feelings of hurt and disappointments. It is the place where I am just there staring at his offline status and think a lot and digest all the emotions and feelings. Do you all think I should discard this account? Would it help in healing or should I give myself more time... I feel such connection to this online space ...crazy to say that but it is true.

What have worked in your situations and what would you advise?

 

Thanku. ..X

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So if someone read my story my 'looks-like-now-exMm' has hurt me after last time he saw me.. didn't communicate as I wished and expected him to and I felt very uncomfortable and hurt because of this after we had sex. When I tried to talk to him about it he defended himself and broke up with me telling me he cannot accommodate time for me and my concerns.

I feel sad as thought we were strongly in this all but reality proved otherwise which I now accepted and feel I need to move on.

My question is... do I delete an email account where we used to communicate? I had a separate account like he did for all our communication during the 2 + years. We only used it for that, nothing else was going through these logins. Since he/ we broke up last week we are both offline. I logged in there few times when I feel hurt or missing him, reread some emails and our last chats. It is like my precious space where I connect to him, the past the wonderful feelings we had and the latest feelings of hurt and disappointments. It is the place where I am just there staring at his offline status and think a lot and digest all the emotions and feelings. Do you all think I should discard this account? Would it help in healing or should I give myself more time... I feel such connection to this online space ...crazy to say that but it is true.

What have worked in your situations and what would you advise?

 

Thanku. ..X

 

Delete it. It's keeping you stuck.

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Absolutely delete anything and everything that has any ties to him.

 

I deleted my email account last night that I've had forever, just to make sure there is no way xmm could maybe email me from a different account . It sucked doing it, but after I pressed that delete button a huge sense of relief came over me. Knowing now, that temptation won't be there. And.. when/if he ever emailed be, he would get that bounce back email.

 

Because if your xmm is like all the other ones, he will come back, you will get sucked in and you will get hurt all over again. You need to rid yourself of him and anything that reminds you of him.

 

Good luck and stay strong.

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Yes, absolutely. Keeping the account open is doing nothing but keeping you hanging onto this thread of hope, and rereading all the emails is doing nothing but making you wish you were back with him and that things were different. It does a ton more harm than good.

 

I'll quote Satu because he/she is not here to yet say it... Delete, delete, delete.

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Just think about that girl you knew who kept breaking up and getting back together with the same lame guy. You sat around wondering what in the world she was thinking! Don't be that girl. If he has ended it, then you TRULY end it in your mind, your heart and your email and move on.

 

There is more to life than living with regret and wallowing in the past. Right now is the time to concentrate on caring for yourself and going forward. Every day is a better day. Hang in there and know you deserve to be treated well.

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IfWishesWereHorses

If you're not ready to close it right now, have a trusted friend change the password for you.

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wishful-thinking

Thank you. ..yeah I see your point. Just when I think of deleting I am so anxious and scared! !! It is unbelievable. I guess making decision and sticking to it and shutting down the door is a huge step for me to take. Once deleted the account will be gone and with I so much more. Like I am loosing something so important. It is hard...:o

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If you're not ready to close it right now, have a trusted friend change the password for you.

 

Excellent idea. I did that when I divorced and was bickering with my ex. I had my teenage son change it... mostly because I knew he was the only one who would not give in if I got weak!!

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If you're not ready to close it right now, have a trusted friend change the password for you.

 

This is what I did. But then I decided to finally just delete.

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Thank you. ..yeah I see your point. Just when I think of deleting I am so anxious and scared! !! It is unbelievable. I guess making decision and sticking to it and shutting down the door is a huge step for me to take. Once deleted the account will be gone and with I so much more. Like I am loosing something so important. It is hard...:o

 

I totally get that. I actually felt sick to my stomach as I put the arrow on the delete button..it's crazy lol.

But, you have no other choice if you want to rid yourself of the madness.

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For me, the hardest thing was throwing away the last photo, the one that contained the memory of a very happy time, but I did it and it was a turning point.

 

It was the right thing to do.

 

No doubt about it.

 

Delete the email account.

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It depends. Are you the type of person who never moves on naturally without help? If so, then delete it. I am the type who is slow but eventually gets tired of feeling bad and need some light, so I move on naturally.

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I'd delete in your shoes.

 

I know my MM deleted every day, just so that evidence didn't exist on his phone or email. If he can, in the heat of it being good, you can when it's bad.

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GirlStillStrong
For me, the hardest thing was throwing away the last photo, the one that contained the memory of a very happy time, but I did it and it was a turning point.

 

:( This must have been very difficult to do.

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whichwayisup
Thank you. ..yeah I see your point. Just when I think of deleting I am so anxious and scared! !! It is unbelievable. I guess making decision and sticking to it and shutting down the door is a huge step for me to take. Once deleted the account will be gone and with I so much more. Like I am loosing something so important. It is hard...:o

 

Like a band aid, just delete the account then go have a good cry. You probably will have anxiety but at the same time doing this will give you power. Delete it! You can do it.

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Delete it. Believe me, the last thing you want is to dicker around with this, then come back two weeks later to delete it only to find out he already has.

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wishful-thinking

Thanks you All!!! I really don’t know how I would manage without this forum. You all powered me up to do it after your comments- I haven't yet- but I will this evening before I go to bed. This is the plan. The mind keep fighting back though... asking what if... all the time, and I guess these "what ifs" as you all say, keep me so stuck. Checking pathetically this email account and staring at his offline status will definately never move me forward.

 

Nikki76... Hope you didn't have a single thought of regret after deleting it... I can now estimate how hard it must have been, I hear u.

 

Popsicle- I think I am the person that if determined to move on, I will do it. I am clear in my mind that I don’t want him back, He disrespected me so much. But I keep checking the email account for any signs from him hoping he would at least apologise.. but I guess it doesn’t matter anymore. I think maybe the best apology would be the one I give to myself through getting rid of any sign of him with this online account.

 

Satu- It is tough, all those little things- emails, photos, gifts mean so much and reconnect us to the past in our mind. It is hard to make this major step forward and decide to discard what was once so percious. Glad you never looked back…thanks for support in making me understand that it is worth it.

 

whichwayisup- I think I need the big cry after all. Thank you so much!

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Thanks you All!!! I really don’t know how I would manage without this forum. You all powered me up to do it after your comments- I haven't yet- but I will this evening before I go to bed. This is the plan. The mind keep fighting back though... asking what if... all the time, and I guess these "what ifs" as you all say, keep me so stuck. Checking pathetically this email account and staring at his offline status will definately never move me forward.

 

Nikki76... Hope you didn't have a single thought of regret after deleting it... I can now estimate how hard it must have been, I hear u.

 

Popsicle- I think I am the person that if determined to move on, I will do it. I am clear in my mind that I don’t want him back, He disrespected me so much. But I keep checking the email account for any signs from him hoping he would at least apologise.. but I guess it doesn’t matter anymore. I think maybe the best apology would be the one I give to myself through getting rid of any sign of him with this online account.

 

Satu- It is tough, all those little things- emails, photos, gifts mean so much and reconnect us to the past in our mind. It is hard to make this major step forward and decide to discard what was once so percious. Glad you never looked back…thanks for support in making me understand that it is worth it.

 

whichwayisup- I think I need the big cry after all. Thank you so much!

 

Not one single regret in the world!! Whether he ever emails me or not, I'll never know, but the thought of him getting that bounce back email if he ever does.... is like a big fat F U ..... and that brings me quite the satisfaction :)

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Chasing_mya

Delete the email account. It will help on your journey towards healing. The more you read 'what use to be' the more you will long for him & what you had. You don't live there anymore so don't give it energy. This is the only way you'll move on 100% is if you let it ALL go. I wish you much love, healing and light.

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wishful-thinking

Account deleted. Took me a Lil bit longer than hoped but finally did it. Was hard to press that button but now feel a relief... no more checking my account for any messages... crumbs or staring at his offline status. A little tiny step forward towards my emotional freedom. .. Thank you all.

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Account deleted. Took me a Lil bit longer than hoped but finally did it. Was hard to press that button but now feel a relief... no more checking my account for any messages... crumbs or staring at his offline status. A little tiny step forward towards my emotional freedom. .. Thank you all.

 

That's not a tiny step foward, that's a huge step forward!

Good for you!

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Account deleted. Took me a Lil bit longer than hoped but finally did it. Was hard to press that button but now feel a relief... no more checking my account for any messages... crumbs or staring at his offline status. A little tiny step forward towards my emotional freedom. .. Thank you all.

 

Good job, Wishful_thinking!!!!! Well done!!!!

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