Lostinoz85 Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 4 years ago I was single. I met a guy and we started talking by text, turned out we had mutual friends and before I knew it we were meeting up and ****ing at every opportunity, the sex was intense. A couple of romps into our adventure he divulges that he did infact have a girlfriend who was away travelling but didn't know if she was coming back. I shamelessly kept pursuing him because the attraction was strong. He always said "I can't do this anymore I love my girlfriend" but we would be in the same pub and I would get a text "beach?".... This went on, his guilt, pulling away, and coming back He would get upset and say I was his perfect girl and if he was single he would be with me in a heartbeat but he couldn't hurt her. Eventually I got fed up of feeling rejected when after sex he would say it couldn't happen anymore that he loves his gf, so I went out on the town and pulled another guy, random guy, or so I thought. No. It was his BEST friend I only discovered this after going home with the best friend, who is now my fiancé and father of my son. I told my partner after a few weeks to give him the option of ending things based on the knowledge of who I was ****ing before him. After a few days he came around and said he can be ok with it. The guy went quiet on me for a while when me and my partner got together and then... The guy I used to **** then proposed to the girl he cheated with me on and we attended their wedding (I felt like a real bitch) and had a baby girl a few months back Me and my partner are getting married in August and had a baby boy a week before them, and the guy I ****ed is going to be his best man. They moved states 2 years ago but he still messages and texts me, in a platonic way every week or 2, instead of just communicating through my other half. We sometimes chat online for hours joking around but nothing untoward. Just lately he has referenced how he thinks I will make a stunning bride. He doesn't use words like stunning much and I'm starting to wonder if this is purely platonic and he has totally forgot me naked and we are best pals that tease eachother or is he trying to make sure his wife never finds out or what? With our beach wedding looming at one of our old haunts all these emotions have started to surface Yes the above isn't my finest hour, I'm human. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted February 12, 2015 Share Posted February 12, 2015 Your fiance and father of your son has given you a huge gift, his trust. What you are engaged in is an emotional affair of sorts and you know this texting and talking for hours (where do you get the time to talk for hours? Where is your son or for that matter your fiance?) is not strictly platonic. Before this turns into a mess, try to limit your calls or texts and focus on your family. This history you share with his best friend already has you on a slippery slope of doubt in your head because you're even picking up on his use of flattery. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lostinoz85 Posted February 12, 2015 Author Share Posted February 12, 2015 I've decided to stop communicating with him and just have him and my partner stay in touch directly. I don't want to mess up his friendship or hurt my partner who has never waivered in his trust. There is obviously always going to be a sexual attraction there and I am just playing with fire. I find the time when our son is in bed and we are sat on opposite ends on the sofa not communicating with eachother, since having the baby my partner is distant and doesn't seem to want me anymore but there's a lot of financial pressure and stress involved. It's worth working at and saving though. Thanks for your input 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CrystalShine2011 Posted February 12, 2015 Share Posted February 12, 2015 A good thing that you are trying to save the relationship. It will be worth it, from what you wrote. Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted February 12, 2015 Share Posted February 12, 2015 You might think he doesn't want you. As a mother most of your time is obviously devoted to looking after your child. Some men feel like they are competing for attention even though it's simply not the case. You might be tired from a long day of looking after your child and the little quiet time you have you just want to relax. Talk and communicate your feelings, hopefully he'll open up as well. Link to post Share on other sites
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