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So I have been NC with MM for about two weeks now. Even though the relationship was ridiculous, I still miss him. Everything reminds me of him.

 

Today I have a job interview for a really good job in my field, but its in a different province. I'm pumped about the interview, but what if I leave and never see him again? I don't want to see him again but there was always that little bit of hope, ya know? Very conflicted.

 

On the other hand I think it would be good to get a fresh start in a new place where nothing reminds me of him.

 

Also, since the affair ended, I have noticed that my adult son has been there for me all along, I just didn't want him. Today he texted me "I love you. Everyone who knows you loves you." He lives in a different province but texts every day and sends his beautiful girlfriend over with treats (healthy food, lol). He also sent me money to get a good haircut - full cut and color etcetera.

 

It is very depressing where I live now. We have had blizzard after blizzard - yesterday 57 centimeters of snow. Another blizzard tomorrow (30 more forecast). Since I can't get out (no one can get out) I've been lonely and of course thinking of MM.

 

I can do this, right?

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I understand totally... I was a stay at home mom during my A so we could spend time either seeing each other or text or talk all day....When we were first no contact I got a full time job and as happy as I was there was a fear that I would never see him again.

But if it's a genuine relationship these are things that you would never worry about. Yes it's lonely and your sad and scared. I'm still there a little bit and that's why I understand, but my job is saving me. I work with children and I adore them and they make me smile everyday.This is a good opportunity for you to try to get your self back! Lean on your son for support, he sounds amazing.

You can do this....wake up to a new day every day and know you should never be someone's second choice...:)

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So I have been NC with MM for about two weeks now. Even though the relationship was ridiculous, I still miss him. Everything reminds me of him.

Nobody expects you to get over him quickly, it'll take time and more grieving before you feel much better.

Today I have a job interview for a really good job in my field, but its in a different province. I'm pumped about the interview, but what if I leave and never see him again? I don't want to see him again but there was always that little bit of hope, ya know? Very conflicted.

 

That's the BEST thing that could happen to you. New job, new province and moving away, starting fresh and not looking back.

 

Give up hope, you two are done for good.

 

Focus on your son, your family and friends.

 

Good luck on the job interview!

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I'm with ya.

 

For a long time, I was working hard to put one foot in front of the other to survive the heart pain of missing the XAP.

 

This idea hit me yesterday...I'm no longer putting just one foot in front of the other to survive now. I'm actually walking again.

 

I know it sounds strange to look at it that way, but that's how I'm seeing it. I'm seeing real progress and healing and it's awesome.

 

So now I'm walking upright through life again....and eventually, I'll be running full steam ahead.

 

Stay focused on the positive things going on in your life. It's the best medicine.

 

Stay strong in mind, body and soul.

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If the opportunity presents itself, with moving to a different province; I think that would do you a world of good. Best of luck.

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Go for it! I did this and my life only went up. A new start is so exciting and full of promise and will be so, so good for you. What have you got to lose, really? Those who support you where you are now, will still do so even if from further away, and you have so many new people to meet and experiences to gain.

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I'm with you on this one. We work together so I can't go anywhere on the property without having something remind me of him everyday. Even though I'm the one who ended it, it doesn't mean I'm absolutely immune to triggers and feelings.

 

How did the interview go? Even if you don't get the job, the interview itself is a huge step for you. A fresh start will be great. It sounds terrifying at first, but it's definitely a step in the right direction of healing.

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The interview went fine. There should be another interview at the beginning of next week. I would have to move by the end of this month!

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The interview went fine. There should be another interview at the beginning of next week. I would have to move by the end of this month!

 

If you get the job, take it. Say yes.

 

This is the only way your A will definitely be over once and for all with no chance of you falling back into it.

 

This is a good thing!

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The interview went fine. There should be another interview at the beginning of next week. I would have to move by the end of this month!

 

Yes, please...move. Far, far away. It's your only way out of this. MM is gone now right? Vacationing with his wife? Do your best to be gone before his magical return.

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Change is good - it brings hope!

 

I'm hoping you get that job and move and never look back!

 

It's time to start making decisions for your best interest!

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Find someone who will and can be there with you while you're stuck in a blizzard. No matter how perfect xMM might seem, he's not available and keeps you feeling alone.

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Well the interview went well. There will be another round of interviews next week so keep your fingers crossed.

 

If I get the job I have to move this month. I don't plan to tell him I'm moving or have moved. He can hear it through the grapevine.

 

Still buried under 12 feet of snow. No cars are allowed in my city because they can't clear the streets. Its an amazing snow covered world out there. Makes me hate him.

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Hope you get the job . Take it and do not look back. You were wasting your life in a no win game . Concentrate on the next job interview and not this dead end relationship that will eventually leave you with nothing but regret.

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Oh, and WHEN you get that job and need to move. You'll have the itch to tell him.... DON"T DO IT.

 

You don't need closure. In some way you're hoping he contacts you again. Please use logic here. YOU are in control. YOU do what's best for you. 2 weeks in great job.

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It's been two and a half weeks NC and I am doing better but I wish I could HATE MM. I have considered making a list of all the bad things about him so I could forget him easier.

 

When D-day happened, it started because her best friend spilled the beans to BW. Her best friend is currently vacationing with ex MM and BW. BW and his adult kids were ALL OVER my Facebook page and of course found pics of him. I blocked her, his kids, and everyone else I could think of (his sister, who is also vacationing with them etc.) exMM doesn't have facebook.

 

Yesterday I was having a very bad day, I actually cried for the first time. After I finished crying, I checked Facebook and found a friend request from the best friend!!!!!!!!!!! The one who is with the BS and who spilled the beans. It set me back considerably. I blocked her and now my Facebook is locked down solid. But the thought that they are on vacation trying to get into my info is upsetting.

 

Please tell me it gets better.

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the_artist_1970
I am completely opposite of you. I have the opposite problem. How can you still feel niceties? I feel pure unabashed hate. I hate him. I asked in an email that we talk not in person but by phone or even email, that i need closure and after years I need to hear the utter truth from him even though it would hurt and then I could be at peace. Hearing the truth will enable me to value a new guy 100x more, and move toward happiness and peace in life. His truth will set him free from the lies and set me free to know the next man may bring true love and happiness. I heard nothing. After all these years this man cannot give me the truth and peace. I am not going to tell his wife in revenge, I have given him peace, but he seems to be so hateful himself he will not do this small gesture on his part for me. What kind of man does this? I ask myself this and more anger sets in.

 

If you are depending on this one man to "set you free" to love again then you need to talk to a therapist and find out why you allowed one person on this universe to taint your view of humankind. That is so out of the norm and it something that should be addressed with a professional immediately.

 

MM who cheat don't know truth. They live a lie with their wives and the OW. A truthful person does not cheat. As for setting you free, only you can set yourself free by finding other joys in life and taking good care of yourself. He doesn't owe you one last conversation. People should not be indebted to other people on this level. The only reason why you won't find another man to love is if you choose not to allow yourself to love again. And that's on you, not MM.

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It's been two and a half weeks NC and I am doing better but I wish I could HATE MM. I have considered making a list of all the bad things about him so I could forget him easier.

 

When D-day happened, it started because her best friend spilled the beans to BW. Her best friend is currently vacationing with ex MM and BW. BW and his adult kids were ALL OVER my Facebook page and of course found pics of him. I blocked her, his kids, and everyone else I could think of (his sister, who is also vacationing with them etc.) exMM doesn't have facebook.

 

Yesterday I was having a very bad day, I actually cried for the first time. After I finished crying, I checked Facebook and found a friend request from the best friend!!!!!!!!!!! The one who is with the BS and who spilled the beans. It set me back considerably. I blocked her and now my Facebook is locked down solid. But the thought that they are on vacation trying to get into my info is upsetting.

 

Please tell me it gets better.

 

It does get better. You are just beginning the journey of letting go and healing.

Feel what you need to feel...every bit of it.

 

Anger will rare her ugly head. Most likely at him and then self-directed.

 

It's a long process.

 

You have no control over others, but by the sounds of it, everyone is blocked now. Let it be what it is...over.

 

Good luck on the healing journey. Focus on you and what you need to do for you to keep moving forward.

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Honestly the so-called "NC" is not reall the NC from your will (or willpower), it is just because the MM and wife are on vacation, that is all.

 

I wonder once they are back, the "saga" will carry on again. Same old same old.

 

 

 

It's been two and a half weeks NC and I am doing better but I wish I could HATE MM. I have considered making a list of all the bad things about him so I could forget him easier.

 

When D-day happened, it started because her best friend spilled the beans to BW. Her best friend is currently vacationing with ex MM and BW. BW and his adult kids were ALL OVER my Facebook page and of course found pics of him. I blocked her, his kids, and everyone else I could think of (his sister, who is also vacationing with them etc.) exMM doesn't have facebook.

 

Yesterday I was having a very bad day, I actually cried for the first time. After I finished crying, I checked Facebook and found a friend request from the best friend!!!!!!!!!!! The one who is with the BS and who spilled the beans. It set me back considerably. I blocked her and now my Facebook is locked down solid. But the thought that they are on vacation trying to get into my info is upsetting.

 

Please tell me it gets better.

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One month after my dday, I got a Facebook message from BSs best friend...bashing me, cursing me..you name it. But I knew she had never liked me because she felt I was a threat to her friendship w BW. Turns out she is having an affair herself... Anyway it really rattled me and I'm not going to lie... I was an absolute wreck!

 

You need to remove yourself from this situation as quickly as possible.......

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Well just got a second call from the job that will require me to move away for a second interview today so here's hoping I will live far away!!!!!!

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cozycottagelg
Honestly the so-called "NC" is not reall the NC from your will (or willpower), it is just because the MM and wife are on vacation, that is all.

 

I wonder once they are back, the "saga" will carry on again. Same old same old.

 

Every post you write in Solo's threads is negative. Just stop reading her posts. Cripes. There are hundreds of other threads. Go find one.

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I don't know why you even bother reading /replying my post then?

 

I just honestly expressed opinion based on "history always repeats itself". I would like to see Solo to have a breakthrough change, however based on so many examples/posts happened, when something seems to be good, then the wave of the "saga" would turn everything back to the original drama at square one again, and again.

 

That 's all.

 

Every post you write in Solo's threads is negative. Just stop reading her posts. Cripes. There are hundreds of other threads. Go find one.
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