AbigailArcane Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 I've spent a lot of time reading the posts here. It's been helpful. I've posted here only a few times. I was involved with a MM....we had a falling out. I told him I wished him well, but I was done. He unfriended and blocked me on FB. Basically, he called my bluff I guess. It's so ridiculous, but that really hurt my feelings. We had no contact for a month and a half. Now out of the blue, he texted me. He apologized, and we are now talking about seeing each other. He admits he isn't leaving. They have a young child together. I was so bummed when he cut off contact...however it got easier. I am not looking for a committed relationship right now. Now that he's returned, I'm in a tailspin. I just find myself thinking about him a lot. I have been letting him seek me out, text first, etc. I'm just trying to keep it in perspective and maintain some control. In the time we weren't speaking I realized that while yes, I'm totally attracted to him and want to see him, but he was lucky to have me in his life, as I didn't expect more. This time around, I'm trying to remember that he's lucky to have me in his life also.....to keep busy and not focus on him too much. Anyway I'm thinking out loud. Not sure what I'm trying to say. I've really enjoyed reading this board..... Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 (edited) Wash, rinse and repeat. Why would you put yourself through this again? Edited January 27, 2015 by DKT3 4 Link to post Share on other sites
jellybean89 Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Ditto. Does it make it easier or more appropriate for you if you say you are not looking for a commitment? Link to post Share on other sites
georgia girl Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 When someone assures me that they have things under control, I immediately think the opposite. If you had it under control, why would you have to assure me of that? OP, I think you're once again in over your head. You're already thinking about him too much, which means you are more invested than you let on. Knowing that, would you really set yourself up for hurt again? Seems like a bad situation to me. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 You're fooling yourself if you think that you can be detached and just keep it casual. He's married, built a life with his wife and has kids, all that isn't going away. You will always just be the OW in an affair with a MM. I take it you want more, a man who will adore you, treat you well, be there all the time, love only you, someone you can proudly introduce as your boyfriend and bring home to meet your family and can be around your friends...Your MM isn't that guy. He never will be. If you want all that then you need to break up with him once and for all. Grieve the loss and heal so you can find a great (single) guy who will meet all your needs. Are you truly happy? Living your life to the fullest? How much pain do you feel from all this? Are you close to letting go and ending the affair? Or are you too scared to be without him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 I can't see the value in being a married mans plaything. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
the_artist_1970 Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 I can't see the value in being a married mans plaything. When you don't value yourself enough, it's easy. Women who don't have value for themselves think seeing a MM is great. SMH:bunny: 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Broom Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 OP is trying to operate with diminished expectations to protect herself from hurt. It's a disconnect from what she (ultimately) knows is the truth. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 Ooops... hang on....Whoa..... I see it..... I've spent a lot of time reading the posts here. It's been helpful. I've posted here only a few times. I was involved with a MM....we had a falling out. I told him I wished him well, but I was done. He unfriended and blocked me on FB. Basically, he called my bluff I guess. It's so ridiculous, but that really hurt my feelings. We had no contact for a month and a half. Now out of the blue, he texted me. He apologized, and we are now talking about seeing each other. He admits he isn't leaving. They have a young child together. I was so bummed when he cut off contact...however it got easier. I am not looking for a committed relationship right now. Now that he's returned, I'm in a tailspin. I just find myself thinking about him a lot. I have been letting him seek me out, text first, etc. I'm just trying to keep it in perspective and maintain some control. In the time we weren't speaking I realized that while yes, I'm totally attracted to him and want to see him, but he was lucky to have me in his life, as I didn't expect more. This time around, I'm trying to remember that he's lucky to have me in his life also.....to keep busy and not focus on him too much. Yeah, found it. There's your mistake, (bold) right there. Ok, back to the right thing to do.... Anyway I'm thinking out loud. Not sure what I'm trying to say. .... I think, I'm not sure, but it sounds like something to do with idiotic behaviour, insanity is doing the same thing over and over, combined with dead-horse flogging...? Gee, ya got me..... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Cali408 Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 You got your dopamine fix, now you're thinking about him again. Please, if you lasted 6 weeks, start over. As you said, it wasn't so bad after a while. Be someone's ace, not their mop up girl 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 So you basically want to go back to being his dirty little secret? Why why why? ?? A boyfriend you can't hold hands with in public. You can't call when you want You can't spend the night with You can't hang out with There is no appeal at all. Maybe he tried to get another side piece in that time, but no one was falling for the great offer of being an affair partner. One fed the crumbs like a pigeon. Please please don't let him back into your life and block his number. You have a choice hete. Just make the right one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TashaTudor Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 What if his wife were to find out? Could you imagine how hurt she would be? Link to post Share on other sites
Hija77 Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 There's a child involved? Yikes. Don't get back in bed with that man. He doesn't respect his wife, his kid, or you. Terrible. He sounds like a selfish jerk!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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