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OW: Kissed a married coworker who likes another coworker.


The Other Man / Woman The other side of the story: Support and discussion for those who find themselves involved with a committed partner.

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Old 27th December 2014, 12:09 PM   #1
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Post OW: Kissed a married coworker who likes another coworker.

Here's the gist:
*started a new job as a temp at the same time with female newbie temp
*full time coworker introduced me to new male coworker who wasn't wearing a wedding ring
*immediately attracted to male not wearing a wedding ring
*tried to get males attention, wasn't working
*turns out he's interested in the newbie temp, at her desk all the time, which ends up being right next to mine
*newbie temp and I are friendly and she lets me know I can talk to her about anything
*I tell her how I feel about male not wearing wedding ring but he doesn't seem to want to talk to me at all
*newbie states she and male not wearing wedding ring are just friends
*should have known then this was a lie
*contacted male through IM
*all he wants to do is talk about sex but confirms he's married with kids
*can't figure out why I'm drawn to this SOB
*male invites me to his car, I agree then decline
*a few days later, I inform him im going to my car, he asks if he can join. I tell him yes
*we make out and feel each other up, no sex
*me and the newbie are still friends so I tell her what happened
*she expresses disappointment, feels betrayed and asks him about it
*he denies it
*she states one of us is a liar and the end result, she believes him
*newbie and I are no longer friends, male and newbie spend time away from the desk on their breaks
*I can't stand being at work and am having panic attacks when he's around
*going to look for another job when contract ends

he's 37, 3 kids w/ 3 different women. Married to 1.
She's 25 w/ a dog.
I see the appeal for him, not sure whats in it for her.
attention I guess.

im 33, no kids. Searching OKCUPID for available men & realizing I had severe daddy issues (stepfather cheated on mother in front of me with several women) therefore being the OW had more value vs being the wife or the ONLY woman. Hard lesson learned. Still hurting but I'll push through.

Good fortune to the rest of you!
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Old 27th December 2014, 12:28 PM   #2
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good for you. go into a new job and ruin it immediately by making out with married co-worker and angering other women who will now gossip about you and tell everyone in the office if given the chance. get your resume ready again cuz you won't survive the embarrassment. if you want to be a failure for yourself and latch on to a married man at least find one outside of your new workplace and stick to online dating. and yeah, a 25 nubile body compared to your 33-year old one? you're the easy target and he took it. but it doesn't sound like he has high standards.. 3 kids w/3 women? super hot prospect, lol
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Old 27th December 2014, 2:26 PM   #3
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Newmoon, your judgement is about you.
Amazing how women chastise other women while forgiving the men.
I'm not embarrassed about what I did. It was a lesson to be learned.

And no worries about the office. Apparently, it's not a secret the guy is a ho as, from other employees in the office, he has a tendency to behave this way.

As far as body type: she's not eating and a few employees are concerned for her health. I'm a size 4, hourglass. She's a size 2 and complaining about it as she used to be a size 8 and wants to gain her weight back.

I'll agree, I was an easy target. What you seem to miss is this is the last time I'm a target.
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Old 27th December 2014, 2:45 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Harmony2015 View Post
*I can't stand being at work and am having panic attacks when he's around
*going to look for another job when contract ends
Lesson learned: Stop playing around with people at your job - now you have to find new work which isn't going to look good on your resume.

And it all backfired for trying to be a playa.
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Old 27th December 2014, 3:55 PM   #5
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How long is your contract there? I'm not too familiar with temp work, but if you're having panic attacks, I'd suggest you try and break your contract due to health reasons. Either that or at the very least try and move your desk.
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Old 27th December 2014, 4:48 PM   #6
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No one was trying to be a player.
And my resume looks great, thank you.
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Old 27th December 2014, 4:51 PM   #7
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I have 60 more days. Speaking to the temp agency is a great idea btw.
I've asked for another desk but it doesn't seem possible right now.
The panic attacks have gotten smaller and when he comes around, I walk around to get away.
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Old 27th December 2014, 7:12 PM   #8
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With all due respect, this statement of yours:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Harmony2015 View Post
No one was trying to be a player.
Is completely contradicted by these actions of yours:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Harmony2015 View Post
*tried to get males attention, wasn't working
*contacted male through IM
*male invites me to his car, I agree then decline
*a few days later, I inform him im going to my car, he asks if he can join. I tell him yes
*we make out and feel each other up, no sex
Those five things you did are all actions of someone who wants to and likes to play games. Whether or not you "tried" to be a player, that was how you came across.
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Old 27th December 2014, 8:49 PM   #9
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CarrieT, you come across as scorned.
I genuinely wanted this man and it was not reciprocal.

Men act like this when they really want a girl and they are repeatedly turned down. The lesson I learned is how harsh unrequited feelings can burn.

Those are not actions of a player. They are actions of someone wanting someone else who's not "returning my calls", so to speak.

Again, amazing how you harp on me and not once harp on the married male who cheated on his wife and is still cheating on his wife (with another coworker).

Yes darling, someone hurt you and it shows. Hit up the therapist and come back to share what you've learned.
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Old 27th December 2014, 9:20 PM   #10
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Harmony, you are new around here - DARLING - so I will give you a little latitude.

Feel free to research my posts and history before making an assumption about my past.

I made no comment about the cheater because he is not the one here posting about his actions, you are. And my comments hold true.
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Old 27th December 2014, 10:09 PM   #11
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You got burned, it happens. At least you are lucky enough to be a temp and you can breeze out. If you want, you can ask to be reassigned but realize they will probably want to know why, they may even call the employer. I'm sure rumors are running rampent, so keep that in mind.

In the end, take their avoiding you as being a blessing in surprise and use any opportunities you have when you're forced to be together to just ignore them. Can't really rail on him for being a guy who cheats on his wife... If he hadn't chosen her over you, you'd be with him, and you pursued him knowing he was married. So... casting stones and all that.
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Old 27th December 2014, 10:15 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Harmony2015 View Post
CarrieT, you come across as scorned.
I genuinely wanted this man and it was not reciprocal.

Men act like this when they really want a girl and they are repeatedly turned down. The lesson I learned is how harsh unrequited feelings can burn.

Those are not actions of a player. They are actions of someone wanting someone else who's not "returning my calls", so to speak.

Again, amazing how you harp on me and not once harp on the married male who cheated on his wife and is still cheating on his wife (with another coworker).

Yes darling, someone hurt you and it shows. Hit up the therapist and come back to share what you've learned.
The MM isn't here posting so that is why responses are about you and your actions. I agree with Carrie, wasn't a smart move to do what you did. You didn't even know him so I'm unsure how you had all these feelings for him.

You are right -- lesson learned.
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Old 16th January 2015, 3:47 AM   #13
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I came here to vent, got judgement from the most lf you instead.

Its evident you missed the point4 of my post which is on the last paragraph: WHY this happened.

Thanks to the ones who showed concern about my health. I'm doing well and am still going strong.

Good luck to all of you.
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Old 16th January 2015, 4:08 AM   #14
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Good for you for looking within and recognizing what got you to that point. It sounds like you are on the right track. Best of luck to you.
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