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Did she just need an excuse to dump me?

cptkurt

By cptkurt,
in The Other Man / Woman

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cptkurt

cptkurt

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Married Woman messaged me on Facebook. We texted HARD for a few days getting long very well. I took the day off of work so she could come over. I was really nervous so I had some difficulty performing. Eventually we got the job done but she felt like it was because of her looks which totally isn't true at all...

 

By the time she left we were really getting along. I kissed her goodbye and it was really sweet. She called me driving saying she thought she was too drowsy to drive (due to meds). I was really concerned and have expressed concern for her health and safety in the past...

 

Another hour or so passes and she calls me from home and we talk for like 20 minutes. Everything was good here too...

 

Then she calls me maybe 20 minutes after that saying that I was ignoring her? Even though we were texting back and fourth the entire time. Then we talk for a minute and I said something about her medication and she freaked out and acted like I was calling her a druggie?

 

She hung up the phone and said something to the effect of "Oh i'll just keep living my life drugged and depressed and pretend this never happened"....

 

I sent her a bunch of sorrys and whatnot but she has said nothing. It's been over an hour and that's not normal at all...

 

Does this sound like she just needed an out? I feel like a piece of ****. I understood the risks of this getting into it but I guess not well enough..

 

Also, she might just be heavily medicated or even passed out at this point.. Either say I feel like **** because I seriously like this girl and I like to comfort her because apparently nobody else does.. and she's going through some serious **** in her life.

 

Edit: I just wanted to add that she constantly kept telling me how much she missed me from the minute she left up until she went cold.

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BlueIvy

BlueIvy

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Huh?? So, you are having an affair with a married woman and you guys got into a argument, and you haven't heard from her in over a hour??

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cptkurt

cptkurt

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Huh?? So, you are having an affair with a married woman and you guys got into a argument, and you haven't heard from her in over a hour??

 

Yep that's pretty much the synopsis.

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BlueIvy

BlueIvy

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Married Woman messaged me on Facebook. We texted HARD for a few days getting long very well. I took the day off of work so she could come over. I was really nervous so I had some difficulty performing. Eventually we got the job done but she felt like it was because of her looks which totally isn't true at all...

 

By the time she left we were really getting along. I kissed her goodbye and it was really sweet. She called me driving saying she thought she was too drowsy to drive (due to meds). I was really concerned and have expressed concern for her health and safety in the past...

 

Another hour or so passes and she calls me from home and we talk for like 20 minutes. Everything was good here too...

 

Then she calls me maybe 20 minutes after that saying that I was ignoring her? Even though we were texting back and fourth the entire time. Then we talk for a minute and I said something about her medication and she freaked out and acted like I was calling her a druggie?

 

She hung up the phone and said something to the effect of "Oh i'll just keep living my life drugged and depressed and pretend this never happened"....

 

I sent her a bunch of sorrys and whatnot but she has said nothing. It's been over an hour and that's not normal at all...

 

Does this sound like she just needed an out? I feel like a piece of ****. I understood the risks of this getting into it but I guess not well enough..

 

Also, she might just be heavily medicated or even passed out at this point.. Either say I feel like **** because I seriously like this girl and I like to comfort her because apparently nobody else does.. and she's going through some serious **** in her life.

 

Edit: I just wanted to add that she constantly kept telling me how much she missed me from the minute she left up until she went cold.

 

Yep that's pretty much the synopsis.

 

 

Not going to state that it's immoral...BUT doesn't sound like it's over. If she's medicated/upset, she is probably giving you the silent treatment. Relax.

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Satu

Satu

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Next time you feel like going to bed with a married woman, ask yourself if there is anything even more stupid and destructive that you could do instead.

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cptkurt

cptkurt

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Not going to state that it's immoral...BUT doesn't sound like it's over. If she's medicated/upset, she is probably giving you the silent treatment. Relax.

 

Thanks. My first reaction is always to panic which sucks. I've given up on morality.

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Rainbowlove

Rainbowlove

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Dude,

 

CHILL.

 

Maybe her husband is needing her attention...or children??

 

I'm not going to say anything about affairs. It is what it is. We all learn what we need to learn from them regardless of what anyone else says...

 

But chillax. Really, take a breath or a pill. ;)

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Satu

Satu

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Thanks. My first reaction is always to panic which sucks. I've given up on morality.

 

If you're into married women, why not marry one?

 

It's quite a popular solution :rolleyes:

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cif

cif

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She's using you to stroke her ego (the comment about her looks) and the first sign of criticism (the comment on her meds) bails. Expect much of this. Do you really need the drama?

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cptkurt

cptkurt

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She's using you to stroke her ego (the comment about her looks) and the first sign of criticism (the comment on her meds) bails. Expect much of this. Do you really need the drama?

 

This is an interesting pov. Can you elaborate more on this?

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Satu

Satu

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Would you not rather be with someone who is free and available?

 

It's much less complicated, and no need for secrets and subterfuge.

 

Lazy days in bed, holidays, concerts, fun stuff?

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cptkurt

cptkurt

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Would you not rather be with someone who is free and available?

 

It's much less complicated, and no need for secrets and subterfuge.

 

Lazy days in bed, holidays, concerts, fun stuff?

 

Absolutely. I've been single for 3 years and this situation just happened on me. I've been trying hard for a decent girl who is not married. This is my first involvement of this type.

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Satu

Satu

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Absolutely. I've been single for 3 years and this situation just happened on me. I've been trying hard for a decent girl who is not married. This is my first involvement of this type.

 

I really hope you find what you want.

 

Make sure that you do ;)

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whichwayisup

whichwayisup

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Absolutely. I've been single for 3 years and this situation just happened on me. I've been trying hard for a decent girl who is not married. This is my first involvement of this type.

 

So instead you settled for table scraps by a MW. Man you'd be better off single and drama-pain free. This roller coaster ride you're on is only going to get worse as time goes on.

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cptkurt

cptkurt

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So instead you settled for table scraps by a MW. Man you'd be better off single and drama-pain free. This roller coaster ride you're on is only going to get worse as time goes on.

 

I certainly feel more alone now than I had before this.

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Satu

Satu

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So instead you settled for table scraps by a MW. Man you'd be better off single and drama-pain free. This roller coaster ride you're on is only going to get worse as time goes on.

 

Sometimes we deny ourselves what we want by accepting something else.

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FusionCutter

FusionCutter

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I certainly feel more alone now than I had before this.

 

The irony if your involvement is that everything is backwards.

 

It feels authentic, but it's a lie

You feel love, but it becomes self-loathing

You want to stay, but you want to go

It feels good, but it hurts

You feel like you're with someone, but you're even more lonely that being single

You like you're together but really you are not.

 

It just never ends. Do your best to live authentically, whatever that means to you. As long as you feel like you're not living a lie.

 

Do what you feel is right.

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whichwayisup

whichwayisup

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I certainly feel more alone now than I had before this.

And it's going to do damage to you as time goes on. Ask yourself if having an affair with her is worth it.

 

She just texted me "Hi. What do you want." I mean wtf..

 

You feel good? Happy? In love? My guess is no. Your head is spinning and you're sitting there unhappy and feeling anxiety and stress.

 

Get the courage to end this affair pronto!

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cif

cif

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This is an interesting pov. Can you elaborate more on this?

 

She's not looking for a 'real' relationship with you but to live a fantasy outside her mundane day-to-day life. So when you point out faults she tips off her pedestal.

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cptkurt

cptkurt

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She came over today for a few hours and again we made out, she cried about her life problems, I rubbed her back and gave her a shoulder to cry on, I got her off, and she left. I had Christmas plans so I didn't text for a few hours and then my phone died.

 

By the time I plugged it back in I had a few missed text messages and a few missed phone calls. I asked her if she was still up and she says "**** off" and "Find someone else to talk to" and "Enjoy your night" and "Cool bye"...

 

I don't get it. I'm such a backbone for this girl and actually give a **** about her but she always wants to fight over stupid things.

 

I think shes drinking tonight so maybe shes just being dumb. I never know when shes seriously fighting with me or 'play fighting' with me. She apparently 'play fights' really hard and also says/does things to 'test' me.

 

I never imagined this would be so complicated. It feels a lot like my last 'relationship' where the girl constantly strung me along, treated me like ass, and then disposed of me. I don't want to go down that path again.

 

I don't know what to think or do at this point. She hasn't responded to my text asking her why shes being mean to me... Having a pretty rough night over this.

 

Merry Christmas ls.

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