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OM end up with MW?


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I was just wondering if this has happened for anyone and what your story is. I see a lot of OW/OM not end up with their AP, but seems I do read about the rare occasion an OW does.

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It certainly does happen but it is extremely rare. Usually if it does happen, the relationship never lasts. There just isn't a strong foundation to build a strong relationship. If fact, I read that most of the women leave and try to go back to their ex husbands. Affairs are fantasy and sooner or later reality finally sets in.

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I don't know of any. I know a couple of guys that have been in long term relationships with married women but there was never a push to leave and they were both happy with status quo. One has been in a R for a couple of years, another guy 8 years.

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It happens...we are in our 6th year together, 3rd year married :love:

 

In our case we would have left our SO's regardless of the affair, and not once did I entertain the idea of going back to my exhusband (shudder).

 

We lived on our own for a while and dated each other the right way, had a typical engagement period, were married several months later and moved in together after the wedding. During that time (and most importantly, after we left our spouses and before we became official) we both attended counseling with our individual counselors, and had a few meetings together to make sure we weren't missing something.

 

I truly feel that, despite how awful and selfish and broken we were when we met and during our affair, he is the love of my life and we were meant to be.

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It sure happened in my life. My xW ran to the OM. He left his wife and they have been together since. I am so thankful everyday they are not messing up someone elses lives. They live a wonderful life together. They live in a apartment that looks like something out of a old Bronx movie. They are on there third child together. They are still not married. They recently had there kids taken away for a month. They live paycheck to pay check. Her phone is shut off more than it is on.

 

I sure wished I could say I got revenge on her for cheating on me but it sure looks like God has taken care of her. I have custody of our two kids and my son wont have anything to do with her. My daughter goes over but not so much since the other kids were taken away. I just wont allow her to go back over until I know for sure its safe.

 

My daughter actually told me last night she wished they would split up. I asked her why would she say that. She said she thinks her mother is miserable and she does not like the OM. I know this might be hard to believe but I sure hope they don't split up. They have three kids between them and that would be sad to see those kids suffer too. The other reason I have is I think they would just ruin someone elses life.

 

Some people will never learn.

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My boyfriend (ex OM) and I made the leap. I posted our story months ago and pasted it below. I believe we are the exception.

 

"I have been in a real life relationship with my exAP for the past year after a 4 year affair. We had a DD a couple of months into the affair, but went underground after a brief break. It was a crazy rollercoaster ride. We were in love, but struggled with the hurt we were causing by continuing the affair, and the devastation we would cause if we left our spouses to be together.

 

There were quite a few attempted breakups that never lasted long. I couldn't do it anymore. I separated from my husband (now ex), two years ago and had to live in the same house for a year and a half until finances were settled and I could buy a place of my own. The divorce was final about 6 months ago. I told my AP when I separated, I was done sneaking and lying and hurting everyone. I wanted to live an authentic life. I asked for NC and told him to work on his marriage. He chose to leave shortly after.

 

We have been blissfully happy. We both have our own homes, and we spend 4-5 nights a week together. Our children get along amazingly and have told us how much happier people we seem as people and parents.

 

Our families know about our history and although they probably don't approve the way we went about it, but they are so glad we are happy and have accepted our relationship with open arms.

 

I would have done so many things differently. I feel terrible that I wasted years of my exhusbands life. I knew I didn't love him properly even before I began my affair. I should have let him go find a woman who would love him like he deserved. I was so selfish and cowardly.

 

He is still angry, but is doing his best to be cordial for our childrens sake. I can't imagine how devastating this has been for him. I hope he will forgive me someday."

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Well I felt I had better come back and make a correction to my post. I was wrong. As of last night. My xW was caught cheating on her OM and they are now split up and she is moving to a different state with there children to be with the new OM. I guess they weren't all that happy :)

 

Clay

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Well I felt I had better come back and make a correction to my post. I was wrong. As of last night. My xW was caught cheating on her OM and they are now split up and she is moving to a different state with there children to be with the new OM. I guess they weren't all that happy :)

 

Clay

 

It's the gift that keeps on giving. Wow.

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The down side of it is my daughter is so sad right now. I just want to go over and kick my xW for breaking her heart again. The other side of me just can't stop laughing. I am actually considering paying the xOM a visit just to have a good laugh.

 

Clay

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Redheaded Mistress
I was just wondering if this has happened for anyone and what your story is. I see a lot of OW/OM not end up with their AP, but seems I do read about the rare occasion an OW does.

 

I ended up with my AP, now husband. I left my then-husband and it was relatively painless. He left his then-wife and it wasn't easy. He bounced back and forth a few times out of guilt, but he eventually had enough of being guilted and manipulated, so he left her permanently.

 

It has been several years and a lot of her focus in moving on was watching our every move and hoping for failure. She still does. She's waiting for the karma shoe drop so she can laugh about how we "got ours." When we didn't marry right off, it was a "sign." When we went from two cars to one in order to save money, it was a "sign." When I didn't visit him at work as often as he did, it was a "sign." The truth was we didn't marry right away because we didn't really want to or feel the urgency. We reduced from two junky cars to one really nice car so we could have a more reliable vehicle and savings for a home. I didn't visit him at work because she was there sometimes several hours a day and I didn't want to make it look like my husband wasn't working.

 

As a result, she never really has moved on. When we moved into a new, gorgeous home, he got a big promotion and a big raise (and her petition for more child support was flatly rejected), when we got married, when we started going on several vacations a year, she gets disproportionately devastated and acts out.

 

Other than her occasional outbursts which are temporary headaches, we are very happy and we both know leaving our spouses was the right thing to do.

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