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He had dozens of lovers and wife found out!


ConfusedMarriedOW

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ConfusedMarriedOW

And I am so happy to know this. He was a fraud in every way. He destroyed women everywhere. I was one of them. He would change his persona according to his victim. So lucky I never actually met him. He tried very hard to entice me. He was brilliant.

 

His wife contacted me said she heard of me through one of his mistresses. I had no idea he had mistresses and I also hadn't talked to him in months. I exposed every last detail to her. He is now kicked out is their beautiful stone house and living out of his car.

 

I was heartbroken over him and now I know that I was just one in a string of dozens. All going at once. He adamantly denied anyone else being in his life,

 

He was either a narcissist or a sociopath, destroying one at a time. Claiming love and then abandoning. He has many many women angry, organizing and ready to publicly destroy him.

 

So glad he is gone, I am completely over it him.

 

However, I wouldn't mind if he gets strung up to a tree :)

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And I am so happy to know this. He was a fraud in every way. He destroyed women everywhere. I was one of them. He would change his persona according to his victim. So lucky I never actually met him. He tried very hard to entice me. He was brilliant.

 

His wife contacted me said she heard of me through one of his mistresses. I had no idea he had mistresses and I also hadn't talked to him in months. I exposed every last detail to her. He is now kicked out is their beautiful stone house and living out of his car.

 

I was heartbroken over him and now I know that I was just one in a string of dozens. All going at once. He adamantly denied anyone else being in his life,

 

He was either a narcissist or a sociopath, destroying one at a time. Claiming love and then abandoning. He has many many women angry, organizing and ready to publicly destroy him.

 

So glad he is gone, I am completely over it him.

 

However, I wouldn't mind if he gets strung up to a tree :)

 

I COMPLETELY understand what you are going through!!!! Mine dated me for 2 years and he is married (pregnant wife and kids lived hours away) and had/ has other women. I was unaware of it all until I found out one month ago, I haven't spoken to him since, nor has he tried to contact me.

 

I share your sentiments. I wish nothing but misery, destruction and poor health to him!

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ConfusedMarriedOW
I COMPLETELY understand what you are going through!!!! Mine dated me for 2 years and he is married (pregnant wife and kids lived hours away) and had/ has other women. I was unaware of it all until I found out one month ago, I haven't spoken to him since, nor has he tried to contact me.

 

I share your sentiments. I wish nothing but misery, destruction and poor health to him!

 

I am so sorry you went through this.

 

His current victim is an emotionally fragile 19 year old child, he made sure to ask for her ID though to at least be safe from the law. He is telling her things to keep her distant from his last mistress (who was the one that contacted me) who is the one who exposed him.

 

His brother just went to jail for being a pedophile so I think he was trying to avoid that.

 

 

I am friends with his wife and only told her what she wanted to hear and she wanted to know a lot.

 

It is good to know that these con men finally get caught.

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Glad to hear. I was thinking about telling his wife too. I don't know her, didn't even know she existed until a month ago, but I was thinking about emailing her via Facebook all the letters, flower notes, text messages that he has sent and I would like to mail him his clothes. I also want to tell her there are many others, a few whom I think he impregnated. I've been giving it some serious thought:confused:

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ConfusedMarriedOW
Glad to hear. I was thinking about telling his wife too. I don't know her, didn't even know she existed until a month ago, but I was thinking about emailing her via Facebook all the letters, flower notes, text messages that he has sent and I would like to mail him his clothes. I also want to tell her there are many others, a few whom I think he impregnated. I've been giving it some serious thought:confused:

 

I actually had no desire to talk to her at all before she talked to me. I was terrified of her finding out.

 

But when she came to me and was very compassionate, I very compassionately told her what I felt she needed to hear. I asked her to lead the conversation and ultimately it made her comfortable to hear all of it.

 

And I do believe she needed to know everything, this man was a monster and at the time, I was so confused I couldn't even see it. It was only when I found out what he did with the other ladies that was fully able to see how ruthless he truly was.

 

He had a different story he told to each woman, he would pass around the same nude pictures to all of them. He had a huge sob story about his home life for each.

 

He preyed on the empathetic, intellectual woman who believed in open marriage while implying that he was headed down that road with his own wife.

 

 

As far as impregnation? Yes, your man absolutely should be exposed, that is a huge line someone shouldn't cross.

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Going over your past threads I would hesitate to call you a victim without putting the word "willing" first.

 

Just sayin',

 

Twosadthings

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Redheaded Mistress
And I am so happy to know this. He was a fraud in every way. He destroyed women everywhere. I was one of them. He would change his persona according to his victim. So lucky I never actually met him. He tried very hard to entice me. He was brilliant.

 

His wife contacted me said she heard of me through one of his mistresses. I had no idea he had mistresses and I also hadn't talked to him in months. I exposed every last detail to her. He is now kicked out is their beautiful stone house and living out of his car.

 

I was heartbroken over him and now I know that I was just one in a string of dozens. All going at once. He adamantly denied anyone else being in his life,

 

He was either a narcissist or a sociopath, destroying one at a time. Claiming love and then abandoning. He has many many women angry, organizing and ready to publicly destroy him.

 

So glad he is gone, I am completely over it him.

 

However, I wouldn't mind if he gets strung up to a tree :)

 

Have you considered therapy to help you deal with the post-affair emotions you're feeling? I mean, I just don't know that this level of anger over an affair that was EA only, with a guy you never met, is safe or healthy for you. It may help to talk out his actions, your actions, his role, your role, and getting some closure.

 

To be perfectly frank, I'm not sure I've seen anybody get to this level of rage over an encounter with somebody where, if your description is honest and accurate and you're not withholding information, most wouldn't even term an affair. It makes me nervous for you.

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ConfusedMarriedOW
Going over your past threads I would hesitate to call you a victim without putting the word "willing" first.

 

Just sayin',

 

Twosadthings

 

Oh come on. I never slept with the guy, the moment I fell for him I opened my marriage and was honest him about everything, I lasted only four months and never slept with him. He claimed to love me and then moved on to the next person that would sleep with him without expecting all of that.

 

What more do you need to know?

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Redheaded Mistress
Oh come on. I never slept with the guy, the moment I fell for him I opened my marriage and was honest him about everything, I lasted only four months and never slept with him. He claimed to love me and then moved on to the next person that would sleep with him without expecting all of that.

 

What more do you need to know?

 

Um, there's a whole lot more to it than that...

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/infidelity/478314-had-emotional-affair-married-man-while-married-left-devastated

 

Now it all comes together. He rejected you, you sabotaged the relationship, he ended it, and now you're enjoying that he's finally getting his after he rejected you. You wanted more, he didn't. The lack of the physical side wasn't any restraint on your side, it was his ending the relationship after you acted out at his rejection.

 

And it appears your relationship was not as vanilla as first implied on here...

 

This is not a case of predator finds victim, it's a case of two people meeting online, an EA, an attempt at a PA, a rejection, a breakup, your heartbreak, and now happiness that he's getting his. There's mutual culpability here that needs to be addressed before you can move forward with recovering from this as you're making it sound like he tricked you into an affair when the truth is you both lunged for each other and he was perfectly open about how he was married and not going to leave.

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ConfusedMarriedOW
Have you considered therapy to help you deal with the post-affair emotions you're feeling? I mean, I just don't know that this level of anger over an affair that was EA only, with a guy you never met, is safe or healthy for you. It may help to talk out his actions, your actions, his role, your role, and getting some closure.

 

To be perfectly frank, I'm not sure I've seen anybody get to this level of rage over an encounter with somebody where, if your description is honest and accurate and you're not withholding information, most wouldn't even term an affair. It makes me nervous for you.

 

You say this coming from the role of someone who was not manipulated ;) you think I am angry? If only you could experience his other mistresses. I am talking to most of them and they are just as enraged as I am. I am the mild one of the bunch. One of his girls who won't talk to anyone is a brilliant girl who has tapped all of our emails. I admire her rage actually. He deserves it. But I wish she would stay away from my email.

 

I find it baffling you could read what I wrote about how he strings along so many women and you have compassion for him.

 

Yes, I do go to counseling and if you actually explored psychology at all, you would know that anger turned inward turns to depression. Anger is healthy.

 

 

Don't downplay a four month emotional affair as if it wouldn't have a huge effect, to me that seems Judgemental words from someone who they themselves are not compassionate.

 

If you want to worry for me, worry for him. It isn't me that will chase him down. I am relatively okay over here. It is the mass of women at his doorstep right now,

 

You should see his wife ;)

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ConfusedMarriedOW
Um, there's a whole lot more to it than that...

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/infidelity/478314-had-emotional-affair-married-man-while-married-left-devastated

 

Now it all comes together. He rejected you, you sabotaged the relationship, he ended it, and now you're enjoying that he's finally getting his after he rejected you. You wanted more, he didn't. The lack of the physical side wasn't any restraint on your side, it was his ending the relationship after you acted out at his rejection.

 

And it appears your relationship was not as vanilla as first implied on here...

 

This is not a case of predator finds victim, it's a case of two people meeting online, an EA, an attempt at a PA, a rejection, a breakup, your heartbreak, and now happiness that he's getting his. There's mutual culpability here that needs to be addressed before you can move forward with recovering from this as you're making it sound like he tricked you into an affair when the truth is you both lunged for each other and he was perfectly open about how he was married and not going to leave.

 

I did nothing to sabotage it! I stayed quiet, his wife found me. She asked questions and I told her. And yes, I was scorned and yes I enjoyed it. Big deal.

 

He did trick me, he tricked many he said the same thing to each woman. I know now.

 

You can see from that thread how thoroughly I was tricked.

Read my comments in this thread too.

 

I don't get your point.

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Redheaded Mistress
You say this coming from the role of someone who was not manipulated ;) you think I am angry? If only you could experience his other mistresses. I am talking to most of them and they are just as enraged as I am. I am the mild one of the bunch. One of his girls who won't talk to anyone is a brilliant girl who has tapped all of our emails. I admire her rage actually. He deserves it. But I wish she would stay away from my email.

 

Why are you contacting his other mistresses to find out more info and gauge how angry they are? That's really... Strange. I think the issue is that you're so angry because you're still emotionally invested in him. Reading the whole story and not the filtered version, it paints a more complete picture.

 

I find it baffling you could read what I wrote about how he strings along so many women and you have compassion for him.

 

I've had people cross me in my day, but I've never been so angry that I'd wished somebody kill themselves as you have. Or contacted all of the people who also don't like them to compare notes and further enrage them or add fuel to the fire with the hopes of creating more problems.

 

I'm a generally compassionate person by nature, and when I hear somebody is so broken that they're contemplating suicide, real or not, I have sympathy. When I hear somebody hoping they do it, I get concerned for them as well.

 

Yes, I do go to counseling and if you actually explored psychology at all, you would know that anger turned inward turns to depression. Anger is healthy.

 

A degree of anger, yes. But anger to the point of wishing harm, harassment (as you've admitted to texting him repeatedly with the express hope of making him miserable), and reaching out to others to find out more dirt and make the situation worse? That's not healthy by anybody's yardstick. Some of it is illegal actually.

 

Don't downplay a four month emotional affair as if it wouldn't have a huge effect, to me that seems Judgemental words from someone who they themselves are not compassionate,

 

What you made it sound like in these threads is very vanilla. Reading the whole story in your other thread, where you tried to meet him for a PA and were rejected, that changes it a bit. A four month EA with somebody you'd never met is generally not something that leads to such personal disintegration as you're showing. You're still having an extreme, hysteria-based reaction, but at least with the whole story it makes more sense.

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Going over your past threads I would hesitate to call you a victim without putting the word "willing" first.

 

Just sayin',

 

Twosadthings

 

Confused, I hope you apologized to her for your part in having an affair with her husband. You say she was a friend... So you betrayed her too. Regardless that he had other OW on the side, as twosadthings has said, you're not a victim in this at all but a willing participant since you knew he was married and also a friend of his wife.

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ConfusedMarriedOW
Why are you contacting his other mistresses to find out more info and gauge how angry they are? That's really... Strange. I think the issue is that you're so angry because you're still emotionally invested in him. Reading the whole story and not the filtered version, it paints a more complete picture.

 

 

 

I've had people cross me in my day, but I've never been so angry that I'd wished somebody kill themselves as you have. Or contacted all of the people who also don't like them to compare notes and further enrage them or add fuel to the fire with the hopes of creating more problems.

 

I'm a generally compassionate person by nature, and when I hear somebody is so broken that they're contemplating suicide, real or not, I have sympathy. When I hear somebody hoping they do it, I get concerned for them as well.

 

 

 

A degree of anger, yes. But anger to the point of wishing harm, harassment (as you've admitted to texting him repeatedly with the express hope of making him miserable), and reaching out to others to find out more dirt and make the situation worse? That's not healthy by anybody's yardstick. Some of it is illegal actually.

 

 

 

What you made it sound like in these threads is very vanilla. Reading the whole story in your other thread, where you tried to meet him for a PA and were rejected, that changes it a bit. A four month EA with somebody you'd never met is generally not something that leads to such personal disintegration as you're showing. You're still having an extreme, hysteria-based reaction, but at least with the whole story it makes more sense.

 

 

To be more clear. I was staying politely NC for months now.

 

I was heartbroken since the breakup, he told me that he had never cheated before and that he never wanted to be with anyone else than me. He told me he loved me at the same time he was saying it to many many others.

 

I wasn't rageful until I found out that fact just two nights ago. I don't like rejection just anyone else and I came onto this forum months ago while in extreme pain, but over time I was respecting him, sad and moving on. What I do not tolerate is being lied to.

 

About his mistresses. I had no idea they existed until THEY contacted me. I in no way reached out to anyone. I didn't reach out to his wife. She contacted me. I haven't sought out one person.

 

When she contacted me I was telling her how much I respected her husband and that he loved her very much :) but then she told me what he did to so many innocent people. He lied to each and every one. He lied to me too. So I finally told her very gently what happened.

 

Yes, I contacted him often in Text, but come on, there is such a thing as block. I am not at his door step ;) he never told me to stop, so who cares. He might not be getting them, which would truly be a shame because I think he should experience be a bit or backlash for what he has done.

 

You probably said more that I could respond to, but at this point I am skimming, it is obvious that since you are sensitive to the topic of the cheating husband topic. I mean you did marry one, so I understand you being on the side of the husband. I was there as you can see in my post. I defended him and myself to many on here ;) I defended cheating to.

 

But, just because you are sensitive to this, doesn't change a narcissist into an empathetic human. A liar into an honest one. Not does it make my pain and anger resulting from it, any less valid.

 

Carry on.

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Remembering back, people told you time and time again you had no clue who that clown was. He gave you what he wanted you to have and you filled in the gaps. It all makes more sense that he dumped you when you started to press him. You where just a number, explains how he could convince you he was so into you then just cut you off.

 

Lucky for you she contacted you instead of your husband.

 

On the bright side this should make it almost enjoyable to move on.

 

I would say sorry about this, but knowing this will help you close the book and doing so with the knowledge that you are aren't missing out on some super great guy you had made him out to be.

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Hope Shimmers
What you made it sound like in these threads is very vanilla. Reading the whole story in your other thread, where you tried to meet him for a PA and were rejected, that changes it a bit. A four month EA with somebody you'd never met is generally not something that leads to such personal disintegration as you're showing. You're still having an extreme, hysteria-based reaction, but at least with the whole story it makes more sense.

 

I too went back and re-read the initial thread, which says something completely different than what was said to me by CMOW in another thread. I just read it and said "huh?":

 

The reason it ended at four months is because of my "attitude" I insisted on treatment he was unwilling to give me. I insisted he open up the marriage to make things legit very early on, I didn't sleep with him because he wouldn't do that. You don't win an award for being in an affair for 8 years and me only 4 months.

 

I have zero mercy for manipulators. I ended out on top because of it. I will never have a memory of having sex with him. I never saw his face, I created that scenario because He was obsessed with me.

 

His next victim was with him longer, had sex with him and was more hurt than I. why? Because she was a compassionate victim, just like you. No compassion doesn't make you a better person it makes you weaker.

 

I only have compassion for those that earn it. His wife I DO have compassion for.

 

Go back and read your earlier threads - what you said above is completely different than what you have been saying. And also, if you truly had compassion for his W then you wouldn't have entered into the A in the first place. Too little, too late - because if he had not dumped you, then you would still be happily deceiving her. Therefore she isn't your "friend".

 

I never said I "win an award" for 8 years vs 4 months. Yet I didn't go into it as an A, as he was separated. I still screwed up by not leaving as soon as I knew he wasn't going through with the divorce, but my situation was completely different from yours.

 

You however jumped full force into an EA with this guy, complete with phone sex and some other things that just sounded... yuck. I would never have done that with a man who was married, especially if I were married too (I'm not and wasn't), so yes, for that I feel there is a difference between us. However, I did make mistakes and I paid for those.

 

I agree with Redhead that the level of your devastation and now your anger is way out of proportion for what essentially was a short online PA with no face-to-face meetings at all, and seemed mainly to consist of online sex. It's hard to understand the intensity of your emotions and it's disturbing.

 

The other women who were "victims" of this guy deserve what they got if they too knew he was married. If you play with fire, don't be surprised if you get burned.

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ConfusedMarriedOW
Confused, I hope you apologized to her for your part in having an affair with her husband. You say she was a friend... So you betrayed her too. Regardless that he had other OW on the side, as twosadthings has said, you're not a victim in this at all but a willing participant since you knew he was married and also a friend of his wife.

 

Oh I apologized like five hundred times to the wife.

 

Yes, I was a victim.

 

He lied, I didn't. I never lied to him about anything. All he said were lies. To me and to each girl.

 

I tried to open my relationship and told my husband to explore outside. My relationship ended with MM before I did though.

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ConfusedMarriedOW
I too went back and re-read the initial thread, which says something completely different than what was said to me by CMOW in another thread. I just read it and said "huh?":

 

The reason it ended at four months is because of my "attitude" I insisted on treatment he was unwilling to give me. I insisted he open up the marriage to make things legit very early on, I didn't sleep with him because he wouldn't do that. You don't win an award for being in an affair for 8 years and me only 4 months.

 

I have zero mercy for manipulators. I ended out on top because of it. I will never have a memory of having sex with him. I never saw his face, I created that scenario because He was obsessed with me.

 

His next victim was with him longer, had sex with him and was more hurt than I. why? Because she was a compassionate victim, just like you. No compassion doesn't make you a better person it makes you weaker.

 

I only have compassion for those that earn it. His wife I DO have compassion for.

 

Go back and read your earlier threads - what you said above is completely different than what you have been saying. And also, if you truly had compassion for his W then you wouldn't have entered into the A in the first place. Too little, too late - because if he had not dumped you, then you would still be happily deceiving her. Therefore she isn't your "friend".

 

I never said I "win an award" for 8 years vs 4 months. Yet I didn't go into it as an A, as he was separated. I still screwed up by not leaving as soon as I knew he wasn't going through with the divorce, but my situation was completely different from yours.

 

You however jumped full force into an EA with this guy, complete with phone sex and some other things that just sounded... yuck. I would never have done that with a man who was married, especially if I were married too (I'm not and wasn't), so yes, for that I feel there is a difference between us. However, I did make mistakes and I paid for those.

 

I agree with Redhead that the level of your devastation and now your anger is way out of proportion for what essentially was a short online PA with no face-to-face meetings at all, and seemed mainly to consist of online sex. It's hard to understand the intensity of your emotions and it's disturbing.

 

The other women who were "victims" of this guy deserve what they got if they too knew he was married. If you play with fire, don't be surprised if you get burned.

 

Oh you are just angry about what I said in the other thread. Sigh,

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Redheaded Mistress
I did nothing to sabotage it! I stayed quiet, his wife found me. She asked questions and I told her. And yes, I was scorned and yes I enjoyed it. Big deal.

 

Your other thread says you did intentionally sabotage your relationship when he rejected your attempt to have a physical affair:

 

"I contacted him non stop on a weekend he asked me not to. I knew that this would make him angry and I didn't have the backbone to break it off and I knew he would as a result. (...) It worked he was enraged, and said he was done."

 

He did trick me, he tricked many he said the same thing to each woman. I know now.

 

You can see from that thread how thoroughly I was tricked.

Read my comments in this thread too.

 

I don't get your point.

 

You weren't tricked... You said:

 

"It got inappropriate quicker than I expected. Because our connection was started by visual images, it was easy to get sucked into a fantasy realm with him. I also saw him flirt with other women but chose to ignore it. At first. "

 

If it got inappropriate quicker than you expected, it means you expected it to eventually get inappropriate. You were looking for an affair. And, your own words, it was easy to fall into it. You even admit you saw him being flirtatious with other women. In the first paragraph of your story, you've made clear you were looking to have an affair with him, you knew he was doing it with other women, and you ignored it because you liked what you described as a fantasy world.

 

You weren't tricked at all. First paragraph of your story makes clear you knew exactly what you were getting into.

 

"He said he loved his wife and would never want to leave her"

 

You know here he's married, he honestly told you he doesn't want to leave. Again, no tricks.

 

"At first I didn't want a relationship with him, just to meet and maybe passionate sex to make up for the lack or passion in my own marriage."

 

Again, no trick. You state very clearly, your plan from the start was you just wanted to meet him for relationship-free sex.

 

"Then I quickly started to fall in love with this married man. I obsessed and dreamed about a fantastic art and passion filled life."

 

No tricks again... You were the one who changed, you decided you didn't want a sex-only affair, you wanted a relationship. So again, it was you who made this change, not him. He didn't trick you... By your own admission, he said he was married, didn't want to leave her. That's not him tricking you.

 

"the more he did that the more my longing for him grew"

 

He's having phone sex and Facetime masturbation sessions with you, but YOU wanted more. You. Not him. Again, he's not tricking you.

 

"Some days he was full on in the connection, flirting, in all trying to turn me on and some days he was filled with guilt."

 

Again, he's telling you he feels guilty... Over what he's doing to the wife he's not leaving... No tricks here either.

 

"I wanted him more than anything. I was considering leaving my husband for this man I never met. We kept discussing meeting, but the more time went on the less likely it seemed to be a reality."

 

You wanted HIM. You were going to leave YOUR husband. You knew that his meeting you wasn't likely going to happen... None of this is HIM tricking YOU.

 

"My husband said he would do anything to keep me and work on our marriage and my xMM wasn't able to fully open the conversation with his wife and he was scared to fully go there and make her upset."

 

HE TOLD YOU HE WASN'T GOING TO DO IT. So I'm still not seeing how HE is tricking YOU.

 

You were clearly, by your own story, a willing participant who knew exactly what the score was.

 

In order to even begin to reconcile how you feel and find closure here, you need to be accountable for your role in all of this, which was very active and not that of a victim, but that of somebody who orchestrated a lot of the whole thing who ultimately was rejected due to pushing too hard to make the affair more serious and acting erratically.

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Oh I apologized like five hundred times to the wife.

 

Yes, I was a victim.

 

He lied, I didn't. I never lied to him about anything. All he said were lies. To me and to each girl.

 

I tried to open my relationship and told my husband to explore outside. My relationship ended with MM before I did though.

 

 

So you told your husband about the affair? If not your in no position to be upset about being lied to while your lying as well.

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ConfusedMarriedOW
Remembering back, people told you time and time again you had no clue who that clown was. He gave you what he wanted you to have and you filled in the gaps. It all makes more sense that he dumped you when you started to press him. You where just a number, explains how he could convince you he was so into you then just cut you off.

 

Lucky for you she contacted you instead of your husband.

 

On the bright side this should make it almost enjoyable to move on.

 

I would say sorry about this, but knowing this will help you close the book and doing so with the knowledge that you are aren't missing out on some super great guy you had made him out to be.

 

 

The reason I thought he was a great guy was because he painted himself as one. I believed it. So did many. I guess we were all dumb? Most of the ones I talked to however, including his wife seemed very smart and were tricked the same ;)

 

Oh and by the way, since you are the expert in wayward wives, you should probably be expecting me to want to cheat again? That I am just waiting for the chance to get distracted by another con man?

 

:::rollseyes:::

 

No thanks. I was in a desperate place in a desperate time and met a con man. Plain and simple.

 

The reason his wife didn't contact my husband is because she sees very clearly what happened, she and I are friends.

 

She and all of his mistresses are very similar, she is friends with all of us :D he preyed on people who forgive and trust.

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Oh I apologized like five hundred times to the wife.

 

Yes, I was a victim.

 

He lied, I didn't. I never lied to him about anything. All he said were lies. To me and to each girl.

 

I tried to open my relationship and told my husband to explore outside. My relationship ended with MM before I did though.

 

Your first thread about this says that you knew he was married and trying to talk to his wife about having an open marriage. And confused, whatever it was that happened between you two, you put much more into it than he did. It hurts and it sucks, but fact remains, you have your own husband at home that you are (or were) having issues with - You chose to go outside of your marriage, just like MM did to his wife.

 

Does your H know about this affair and what happened? Did your H ever go outside of the marriage after you discussed it with him?

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Hope Shimmers
Oh you are just angry about what I said in the other thread. Sigh,

 

No, I pity you after what you said in your other thread. Your true character came shining through.

 

You are not a victim. You made your own bed.

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ConfusedMarriedOW
So you told your husband about the affair? If not your in no position to be upset about being lied to while your lying as well.

 

Your standards, not mine.

 

I feel badly that I have to keep the fact that I was considering someone else when I suggested we open the marriage, but since I never actually slept with the guy and we never opened it, nor do I have a desire to do so ever again, we are in counseling and working on the problems that lead us there to begin with, my counselor has told me specifically to NOT tell AND I have no desire to actually hurt my husband uselessly, again, no.

 

Where is the logic in that? Just because you a random scorned husband says I should?

 

My husband has specifically told me he would allow me to sleep with others, but as I have said before and oooooh my god I am tired of repeating myself to you. I don't want to hurt him. He won't leave, but why hurt him all for that sake of honesty? I really do want to say something because it would feel amazing to have intimacy with him, I am not at all afraid of him leaving. I know you find it hard to believe! I just don't want to hurt him over something that didn't become sexual in Real life.

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ConfusedMarriedOW
No, I pity you after what you said in your other thread. Your true character came shining through.

 

You are not a victim. You made your own bed.

 

What a condescending comment from someone who is pitying me. It doesn't match up.

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