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I'm the other guy. But I'm in love. [Updated]


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It's been almost two months since I met this woman and sparks flew when we met. Our personalities deeply connected. We both have a unique energy that we both have never experienced. On the third day of hanging out, I made the move and kissed her. Ever since things have gotten very very passionate in between us. I've seen her tops and I've even managed to finger her and eat her. I fell in love. It wasn't just her cute face, her hot body, it was her personality. I really did fall in love. One day I kissed her and asked her if she loved me, she replied she cared for me... A lot. Which is fine. Here is my biggest problem. I really want you guys to stay open minded. She has a boyfriend of 3 years. I heard her talk on the phone towards the end saying i love you too. You see I learned this the hard way that love is battle field. It's all about tactics. Many of you may call me an *******. This n that. I didn't come here to be bashed on. I came here to ask how do I get her to be mine and get her away from this boyfriend of hers. My love for her is so strong I'm willing to take her out of this relationship. So if your gonna give me advice on how to get close to her and make her emotionally attached to me then do so. Thank you very very much.

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So you love a woman willing to cheat on her long-term boyfriend with you?

 

Are you naive? Do you think she won't do the same to you eventually?

She's dishonest, a cheat, and she is holding all the cards.

 

There is NOTHING you can do, the playing field is absolutely hers. So all you can do is what you've been doing so far.

 

Also, telling her that you love her is absolutely NOT the way to get closer to her. She knows you're emotionally reeled in and can do with you whatever she wants.

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It's easy to get ppl addicted to you.

Stroke her ego, make her feel important, special, beautiful, sexy, intelligent and exceptional.......and then withdraw. Then give her a little bit of that again, and withdraw.......the more inconsistent you are, the better. She won't know what to expect and when. That's the recipe to keep her guessing, even obsessing. IF you want that. If you want a real R with a girl, it should be based on honesty / integrity. But I guess that's not working here, since she's already taken.

 

I wouldn't give the "ILY" on the phone too much importance. It's a normal way of saying goodbye these days. Overused. If you want to know whether or not she loves the guy, simply ask her.

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So you love a woman willing to cheat on her long-term boyfriend with you?

 

Are you naive? Do you think she won't do the same to you eventually?

She's dishonest, a cheat, and she is holding all the cards.

 

There is NOTHING you can do, the playing field is absolutely hers. So all you can do is what you've been doing so far.

 

Also, telling her that you love her is absolutely NOT the way to get closer to her. She knows you're emotionally reeled in and can do with you whatever she wants.

 

 

 

 

 

 

So what should I do to get her. I don't care if she's gonna cheat on me because I'll keep her in check. But what strategy do get her?

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It's easy to get ppl addicted to you.

Stroke her ego, make her feel important, special, beautiful, sexy, intelligent and exceptional.......and then withdraw. Then give her a little bit of that again, and withdraw.......the more inconsistent you are, the better. She won't know what to expect and when. That's the recipe to keep her guessing, even obsessing. IF you want that. If you want a real R with a girl, it should be based on honesty / integrity. But I guess that's not working here, since she's already taken.

 

I wouldn't give the "ILY" on the phone too much importance. It's a normal way of saying goodbye these days. Overused. If you want to know whether or not she loves the guy, simply ask her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anything else I can do aside from that? I've been strokin her ego a **** ton. But how long should I withdrawl?

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Anything else I can do aside from that? I've been strokin her ego a **** ton. But how long should I withdrawl?

 

Keep the intervals inconsistent. And contact her occasionally. Then don't contact her at all for a while. Let her come to you. I don't know your relationship. How do you usually get in touch with her? Run into her? Call her? E-mail? Text?

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Keep the intervals inconsistent. And contact her occasionally. Then don't contact her at all for a while. Let her come to you. I don't know your relationship. How do you usually get in touch with her? Run into her? Call her? E-mail? Text?

 

 

 

 

Texting and a few calls here and there. We train together at the gym a few times. She lives a mile away from me walking distance. Her boyfriend lives in another city. I guess I'm more convenient haha. I did ignore her for one day and I got 15 messages and 4 phone calls.

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So what should I do to get her. I don't care if she's gonna cheat on me because I'll keep her in check. But what strategy do get her?

 

So how are you keeping her in check now while you are giving her oral exactly where her boyfriend is boning her?

 

Actually, I just threw up in my mouth a little just thinking about that.

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See. Ignoring works.

And you have the advantage of being closer to her than he is. You're all set.

 

It drives her nuts when I ignore her. By the way she's older than me, I'm in my mid 20s she's in her late 30s.

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It's easy to get ppl addicted to you.

Stroke her ego, make her feel important, special, beautiful, sexy, intelligent and exceptional.......and then withdraw. Then give her a little bit of that again, and withdraw.......the more inconsistent you are, the better. She won't know what to expect and when. That's the recipe to keep her guessing, even obsessing. IF you want that. If you want a real R with a girl, it should be based on honesty / integrity. But I guess that's not working here, since she's already taken.

 

I wouldn't give the "ILY" on the phone too much importance. It's a normal way of saying goodbye these days. Overused. If you want to know whether or not she loves the guy, simply ask her.

 

 

This is the way ...

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So how are you keeping her in check now while you are giving her oral exactly where her boyfriend is boning her?

 

Actually, I just threw up in my mouth a little just thinking about that.

 

 

Look I love her very very much. Please don't say that. I want people that can help me.

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She doesn't love either of you, she loves herself. Nail a mirror onto your forehead and she'll love you in no time.

I've never heard of someone so eager to lick up what her BF has left though.

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Redheaded Mistress

You can't take her out of the relationship. Only she can decide to leave. And I could give you advice on how to nurture an emotional attachment, but an attachment doesn't promise that she'll leave for you. Honestly, emotional attachment isn't what I think either of you want from each other right now.

 

Love may be a battlefield, but if you enter into a relationship with a goal of trying to "win" somebody from somebody else, that makes the relationship a game, a contest. That's never really a good sign.

 

Would this girl still have been relationship material if she was single, or would she have been a one-night stand? Are you wanting to settle down, marry, have kids with this woman? Or is this about scoring that beautiful girl with the added bonus of swiping her from somebody else? Both of which are pretty big notches on the belt... Now she's older than you too? This just seems ego-based to me.

Edited by Redheaded Mistress
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You don't "love" her, you barely know her. You lust her.

 

You can't "win" her. She has to make a choice. Sounds like her choice is a boyfriend and a young man who she has wrapped around her finger. The fact that she told her boyfriend "I love you" in front of you speaks volumes...she is playing with you.

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ThatsJustHowIRoll

Ask her to leave her relationship. Lay it out. One way or another youll get your answer.

 

Hope youre just as into her when you hit your 30s and in the prime of your life...and shes hitting menopause.

 

Good luck with that.

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FusionCutter
Look I love her very very much. Please don't say that. I want people that can help me.

 

EDIT: oops. I didn't realize she only has a boyfriend. For some reason I thought she was married. Honestly. If she has a boyfriend she would leave instantly for you, if she was a good woman.

 

 

 

Hello. Reading your story painfully reminds me of my own experience, rejecting the help of others and not seeing the situation for what it is. Trust me, the situation is not worth it. I know it's extremely tough to walk away because both of you are addicted like drugs, but no good can come of it. No matter how long you wait she will never leave him. You were just feeling a void in her marriage. Trust me, walk away from the situation before you get even more hurt, You have only played the game for two months.

 

Please do yourself a favor, and honor yourself. You are in the point where no matter what anyone says you will not listen. Your mind is clouded. Trust me I was there myself.

 

The deeper you go down this road the worse it gets. If you honestly think she cares about you, leave and ask her to contact you when she gets a divorce. If she truly loves you, she would do that instantaneously for you. Instead you'll get excuses upon excuses upon excuses. I was in your exact same situation.

 

Your situation is no different. Trust me, if she wants to leave, she would leave.

 

If she has the balls to cheat on her husband, she absolutely would have the balls to leave. It takes more courage to cheat on someone that actually leave them.

 

You need to wake up, and see the situation for what it is. You need to understand how dangerous your situation is. It's really dangerous to be oblivious to the reality of the situation because you are solely basing your decisions only on how she makes you feel. You don't realize she's actually hurting you, and hurting the man you promise to love and cherish forever.

 

Don't entrust your emotional well-being to this woman. I know whatever I say you're probably not listen, but in a few months time when you were all broken, come back to this thread and say that I was right. I wish you the best of luck.

 

You said you want people to help you, you are a complete stranger on the Internet, and yet I've spent the time to write this message for you. I truly want to help you because I know what your situation is like because I was in the exact same situation. These people on these boards care about you more than the woman you claim to love. In time you'll see how true this is. I know it is extremely hard to understand, but this woman is not a good woman. This is not a woman with integrity. This is not a woman that you would want to marry. This is not a woman that you want to take home and show your friends and family and how proud you are of her. This was once a woman where her husband did exactly that. She spoke her vow in front of all of her friends and family. And she also spoke those vows in front of all of his friends and family. Just think about that. This woman's word means nothing. She could tell you that she loves you with everything and that she would leave l in a heartbeat. But it all doesn't matter. Remember she promised to love her husband forever and unconditionally. This means her word means nothing.

 

Please wake up and see the situation for what it is. If she is an honest and a woman with integrity, she would instantaneously try to make things right by taking steps to leave her husband to be with you. Because she doesn't want to do that yet, that says that she is an evil woman. It's really not that complicated. I know your fueled my emotion right now. All you have to do, is ask her to leave her husband today. If she doesn't want to do that, she doesn't love you at all. She might have feelings for you, but that is different than being in love with you and wanting to be with you. It's very possible for a woman to feel feelings for another man while being married to another one. However, in virtually all cases, that love is not strong enough to cause her to leave. The best we can for you to do in this situation, is to advise you to simply leave it. If you walked away and she came chasing back after you, that's a different story. Likely will happen is when you walk away she will never return in your life. The sooner you can walk away, the less the hurt will stop.

 

Trust the people on this board, there is a lot of experience culminated here. I wish you good luck stranger. I don't want to be right, but if I'm right, please come back and offer me a thanks.

Edited by FusionCutter
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Nathaniel Hawk
EDIT: oops. I didn't realize she only has a boyfriend. For some reason I thought she was married. Honestly. If she has a boyfriend she would leave instantly for you, if she was a good woman.

 

 

 

Hello. Reading your story painfully reminds me of my own experience, rejecting the help of others and not seeing the situation for what it is. Trust me, the situation is not worth it. I know it's extremely tough to walk away because both of you are addicted like drugs, but no good can come of it. No matter how long you wait she will never leave him. You were just feeling a void in her marriage. Trust me, walk away from the situation before you get even more hurt, You have only played the game for two months.

 

Please do yourself a favor, and honor yourself. You are in the point where no matter what anyone says you will not listen. Your mind is clouded. Trust me I was there myself.

 

The deeper you go down this road the worse it gets. If you honestly think she cares about you, leave and ask her to contact you when she gets a divorce. If she truly loves you, she would do that instantaneously for you. Instead you'll get excuses upon excuses upon excuses. I was in your exact same situation.

 

Your situation is no different. Trust me, if she wants to leave, she would leave.

 

If she has the balls to cheat on her husband, she absolutely would have the balls to leave. It takes more courage to cheat on someone that actually leave them.

 

You need to wake up, and see the situation for what it is. You need to understand how dangerous your situation is. It's really dangerous to be oblivious to the reality of the situation because you are solely basing your decisions only on how she makes you feel. You don't realize she's actually hurting you, and hurting the man you promise to love and cherish forever.

 

Don't entrust your emotional well-being to this woman. I know whatever I say you're probably not listen, but in a few months time when you were all broken, come back to this thread and say that I was right. I wish you the best of luck.

 

You said you want people to help you, you are a complete stranger on the Internet, and yet I've spent the time to write this message for you. I truly want to help you because I know what your situation is like because I was in the exact same situation. These people on these boards care about you more than the woman you claim to love. In time you'll see how true this is. I know it is extremely hard to understand, but this woman is not a good woman. This is not a woman with integrity. This is not a woman that you would want to marry. This is not a woman that you want to take home and show your friends and family and how proud you are of her. This was once a woman where her husband did exactly that. She spoke her vow in front of all of her friends and family. And she also spoke those vows in front of all of his friends and family. Just think about that. This woman's word means nothing. She could tell you that she loves you with everything and that she would leave l in a heartbeat. But it all doesn't matter. Remember she promised to love her husband forever and unconditionally. This means her word means nothing.

 

Please wake up and see the situation for what it is. If she is an honest and a woman with integrity, she would instantaneously try to make things right by taking steps to leave her husband to be with you. Because she doesn't want to do that yet, that says that she is an evil woman. It's really not that complicated. I know your fueled my emotion right now. All you have to do, is ask her to leave her husband today. If she doesn't want to do that, she doesn't love you at all. She might have feelings for you, but that is different than being in love with you and wanting to be with you. It's very possible for a woman to feel feelings for another man while being married to another one. However, in virtually all cases, that love is not strong enough to cause her to leave. The best we can for you to do in this situation, is to advise you to simply leave it. If you walked away and she came chasing back after you, that's a different story. Likely will happen is when you walk away she will never return in your life. The sooner you can walk away, the less the hurt will stop.

 

Trust the people on this board, there is a lot of experience culminated here. I wish you good luck stranger. I don't want to be right, but if I'm right, please come back and offer me a thanks.

 

This. A thousand times.

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It's been almost two months since I met this woman and sparks flew when we met. Our personalities deeply connected. We both have a unique energy that we both have never experienced. On the third day of hanging out, I made the move and kissed her. Ever since things have gotten very very passionate in between us. I've seen her tops and I've even managed to finger her and eat her. I fell in love. It wasn't just her cute face, her hot body, it was her personality. I really did fall in love. One day I kissed her and asked her if she loved me, she replied she cared for me... A lot. Which is fine. Here is my biggest problem. I really want you guys to stay open minded. She has a boyfriend of 3 years. I heard her talk on the phone towards the end saying i love you too. You see I learned this the hard way that love is battle field. It's all about tactics. Many of you may call me an *******. This n that. I didn't come here to be bashed on. I came here to ask how do I get her to be mine and get her away from this boyfriend of hers. My love for her is so strong I'm willing to take her out of this relationship. So if your gonna give me advice on how to get close to her and make her emotionally attached to me then do so. Thank you very very much.

 

I'm not sure if you actually love this woman.....it seems this is a sex-filled, lust-filled situation which has been on for only about 8 weeks, and sure you may like her personality, but that's hardly love.

 

You can't make people love you. They feel that way of their own free will unfortunately.

 

Ask her what she wants from the situation. Tell her how you feel. See if she will leave her boyfriend of her own free will or not.

 

Love is not about "tactics", I don't know where you got that from. But if you feel it's a game you play like chess, then unfortunately you'll always be on guard and trying to manipulate things, which is the opposite of love. Manipulating someone into being with you by tactics of ignoring them etc, and then keeping them "in check" is the antithesis of love actually. Sounds more like the makings of an abusive and dysfunctional relationship than a loving one.

Edited by MissBee
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You don't know what love is yet.

 

And you won't learn it through this relationship.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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Beautiful Kisses

You're telling him to play games with her. That's the same thing this guyis doing to me. Its not funny or fun. Nobody wants to play games with a grown up unless your a child with your parent. Also it sounds like you told her you love her way to early, that would kinda get me to fall back from you if you told me that, that soon. Just ask her to choose, tell her to choose wisely , if she choose you then great if shechooses her bf then let her be with him.

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All of you are single adults and it is a free market.

 

Just make your offer and ask her out on a legitimate, public date. Hell ask her out right in front of him if you want. There's really nothing that says you can't. They are not married or engaged so he has no real claim over her and she is free to do whatever she wants and free to go out with whoever she thinks is the better man.

 

Her response will tell you all you need to know on where you stand.

 

If she starts dating you legitimately and dumps the BF, then so be it.

 

If she keeps you hidden in the closet to lap up her BF's spew out of her crotch on the side while she still goes out with her BF, then you know where you stand there as well.

 

My advice is to do exactly what you would do if she didn't have a BF and see what her response is and judge her merits accordingly.

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My advice is to do exactly what you would do if she didn't have a BF and see what her response is and judge her merits accordingly.

 

Let me explain this a little more clearly as it is an important piece of the puzzle.

 

Treat her as you would any other single chick that did not have a BF. Flirt with her, schmooze her, ask her out, get to know her, put moves on her and see where it goes and what she does.

 

If she falls into step with you and starts going out with you and following you into your world as your SO, then there you go.

 

But also consider what you would do with a single gal that would only see you on the down low behind closed doors at 2 in the afternoon on Tuesdays and every time you went down her her you could feel other dudes sperm swimming around in the back of your throat.

 

How much fun would that be and how long would you put up with that?

 

That's what I am talking about here. Treat her and judge her like any other single chick. State your case with her and make her your open offer. If she accepts it and goes along with and everything goes hunky dory, then it was meant to be.

 

But if she is treating you in manner that you would dump a gal that didn't have a BF for, then do the same in this scenario.

 

Take the BF out of the equation and judge her on the merits of any other single woman and see how she stacks up and you act accordingly.

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It's been almost two months since I met this woman and sparks flew when we met. Our personalities deeply connected. We both have a unique energy that we both have never experienced. On the third day of hanging out, I made the move and kissed her. Ever since things have gotten very very passionate in between us. I've seen her tops and I've even managed to finger her and eat her. I fell in love. It wasn't just her cute face, her hot body, it was her personality. I really did fall in love. One day I kissed her and asked her if she loved me, she replied she cared for me... A lot. Which is fine. Here is my biggest problem. I really want you guys to stay open minded. She has a boyfriend of 3 years. I heard her talk on the phone towards the end saying i love you too. You see I learned this the hard way that love is battle field. It's all about tactics. Many of you may call me an *******. This n that. I didn't come here to be bashed on. I came here to ask how do I get her to be mine and get her away from this boyfriend of hers. My love for her is so strong I'm willing to take her out of this relationship. So if your gonna give me advice on how to get close to her and make her emotionally attached to me then do so. Thank you very very much.

 

Just a little, itty bitty question... If it came down to it, do you love her enough to let her go?

 

:o one more question, sorry* do you love yourself enough to let her go if this hidden relationship starts to take it's toll on you both emotionally & physically?

 

That aside, you could actually out her to the b/f anon. She'd probably figure it was you though (I figured it out pretty quick myself...). But if her b/f dumps her, she could decide to fall back on you, right? It happens often. I've read it here on LS that it does :)

 

...see??? I kept my opinions of what you're doing to myself* :D

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