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do women ever leave?


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evanescentworld

She bloody well ought to.

 

I mean, who knows where it's been...? :sick:

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Depends on the woman. Some are not in a position to leave and others are willing to let him get away with it.

I believe that some do though.

Poppy

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Think of it this way. An OM or OW is often willing to commit to a MM/MW and give their all in exchange for just a part of the other person. Why is it that much different to think that the BS would also stay with a cheating spouse?

 

I think in both cases (OM/OW and BS) they believe that ultimately they will come out the winner. The WS takes advantage of this to take from both.

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This site isn't the norm, men almost always leave the WW, and women almost never leave the WH, the first time.

 

I think its all part of how me think. You always hear "men cheat" so in a way women kinda expect it. Men always seem blindsided and normally have no expectation of his wife being unfaithful.

 

Stats show that roughly 75% of women will stay, while less then 20% of men will stay.

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My STBXH cheated first time, said I'd work on it with him, but he put in little to no effort. Rugswept and made me feel like everything was all in my head.

 

 

Dday two and found that even if I wanted to forgive, it didn't matter. Forget love, he didn't matter to me anymore. If any of his OWs stuck around, he could have them. Still could.

 

 

But for what its worth, he tried to stay.

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Generally, no, and neither do men leave when they find out their wife stepped out. They stay and b*tch at the WS and/or act passive aggressive for the rest of their lives. They all end up miserable.

Edited by Popsicle
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Generally, no, and neither do men leave when they find out their wife stepped out. They stay and b*tch at the WS and/or act passive aggressive for the rest of their lives. They all end up miserable.

 

If people do reconcile, a lot of them go to counseling, or find other ways to work on the marriage. They address what went wrong and try to move forward. I know few BS's, either on this board or in real life, who stayed and just b*tched about it.

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After reading up on it I don't understand why betrayed spouses feel that threatened. The wayward spouse likely won't want marriage with an affair partner because the AP cannot be trusted. EDIT: And the AP won't want marriage with the WS for the same reason.

 

Based on the abysmal success rates of affair marriages this seems justified.

 

I also hear that most marriages that end do so when someone has found someone else to escape to.

 

What is true?

 

So if the WS has had sex with AP the AP has sprung a leak and is not trustworthy enough to leave the marriage for, but if no sex occurs then it's time to get off the Titanic and board that life raft?

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If people do reconcile, a lot of them go to counseling, or find other ways to work on the marriage. They address what went wrong and try to move forward. I know few BS's, either on this board or in real life, who stayed and just b*tched about it.

 

Yup. Truth. Seriously.

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My cousin was cheated on the whole time they were married and she found out about it after she had just given birth to their youngest son. He had the same woman for years.

 

He filed for divorce as soon as their youngest turned 18 and is still with the same woman now.

 

She was the worst divorced bitter woman ever because I guess years and years of being so angry at him was hard to let go of.

 

She was always belittling him too when they were married in front of the family right to his face. I can't even imagine what it was like for him behind closed doors.

 

I don't feel sorry for her. She chose to stay. She could have divorced him at any time. And as for him, I hope he is happy. The last time I saw him he looked like he was.

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If people do reconcile, a lot of them go to counseling, or find other ways to work on the marriage. They address what went wrong and try to move forward. I know few BS's, either on this board or in real life, who stayed and just b*tched about it.

 

I know a bunch who did. And what I mean is that the struggle is eternal.

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Generally, no, and neither do men leave when they find out their wife stepped out. They stay and b*tch at the WS and/or act passive aggressive for the rest of their lives. They all end up miserable.

 

It may have been the case in your situation or in a small sample, but men for the most part absolutely don't stay with WW's. Less then half of half. On average they will hang around about 10 months.

 

I personally know 5 men including myself that were cheated on, all 5 divorced and only me stayed past a year after finding out.

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Of course some do.

 

But I think it also depends on a lot of other factors surround both the confession and where the couple is in their relationship and what the MM's purpose is for telling.

 

I think few are those who actually tell, often many are accidentally discovered. So for someone who willfully confesses, the question is what purpose does it serve? It is either he is confessing so he can be truthful and reconcile or confessing so he can be honest and then leave the marriage. If he is confessing before he ends the marriage then it doesn't matter if she leaves, as it only takes one person to leave and the one having the affair has more of a reason to leave than the person who is not.

 

You posted another thread about your situation, you mentioned something about needing to leave your job because his wife won't come in if you're there. I was confused. Does his wife work there too? Why did he confess? Is he planning to be with you?

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The op mm probably confessed because at heart he didn't want to stray but the temptation was too great. He recruited his wife as the bad guy by telling her. Now he can say it's all because his wife is making him do everything. That's how cheaters are, weak. That's what makes them cheaters and not divorced people.

 

Or he never even told his wife and this is his way to get rid of her and still be the good guy.

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muddy, that's what I was thinking. I think though that a husband and wife are a team and what he did was got his teammate to help him so it makes sense to me, even if she wasn't part of the game plan before. She was on the bench so to speak.

 

Also reminds me of chess. The king makes limited moves but the queen can make big moves.

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The op mm probably confessed because at heart he didn't want to stray but the temptation was too great. He recruited his wife as the bad guy by telling her. Now he can say it's all because his wife is making him do everything. That's how cheaters are, weak. That's what makes them cheaters and not divorced people.

 

Or he never even told his wife and this is his way to get rid of her and still be the good guy.

 

Yeah I'm kinda going with the second part.

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The op mm probably confessed because at heart he didn't want to stray but the temptation was too great. He recruited his wife as the bad guy by telling her. Now he can say it's all because his wife is making him do everything. That's how cheaters are, weak. That's what makes them cheaters and not divorced people.

 

Or he never even told his wife and this is his way to get rid of her and still be the good guy.

 

Double post

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Lovemesomehim
does a woman ever leave her husband after he tells her he's had affairs? I'm starting to think not.

 

Depends on the woman. Some do leave and never look back. Scared and hurt, confused and betrayed, they leave. #sidenote - we don't hear about it because the wife does not share her business with everyone.

 

 

Some women stay because, she can! And she does not owe anyone an explanation as to why she stayed.

 

 

Some people view the BS as the bad person...and she's not...the question should be, can a male ever divorce or separate from his wife and spare her the heart ache of him cheating?

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This site isn't the norm, men almost always leave the WW, and women almost never leave the WH, the first time.

 

I think its all part of how me think. You always hear "men cheat" so in a way women kinda expect it. Men always seem blindsided and normally have no expectation of his wife being unfaithful.

 

Stats show that roughly 75% of women will stay, while less then 20% of men will stay.

 

More so the Woman stays because they are way more emotionally invested in the M. History, kids, extended family... Sometimes the BS create there whole world around it. It is there world.

 

Men tend to think more logically hense the reason for most affairs are pure sexual. Men tend to have a hard time forgiving the cheating spouse because most Men know they are/were emotionally invested in the A.

 

Not saying Men never get emotionally invested either but... Majority tend to compartmize the A and cut it off. Mostly only when the BS is ready to kick them out. If they know they can get away with it... The A will go on forever.

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Depends on the woman. Some do leave and never look back. Scared and hurt, confused and betrayed, they leave. #sidenote - we don't hear about it because the wife does not share her business with everyone.

 

 

Some women stay because, she can! And she does not owe anyone an explanation as to why she stayed.

 

 

Some people view the BS as the bad person...and she's not...the question should be, can a male ever divorce or separate from his wife and spare her the heart ache of him cheating?

 

Good question... A lot of MM stay in the M (even if they are not happy), because once again... It's there world. If they can get away with it... Why leave the nest if I know she'll take me back. No child support... It's cheaper to keep her.

 

A person can only do what you allow... That's why cheating hubby's rarely leave there spouse when it comes to A. I don't believe a cheating husband carrying on an A for years love their spouse. Why? Because they wouldn't put them in a situation in the first place to decide whether or not they should leave. JMO

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Lovemesomehim
Good question... A lot of MM stay in the M (even if they are not happy), because once again... It's there world. If they can get away with it... Why leave the nest if I know she'll take me back. No child support... It's cheaper to keep her.

 

A person can only do what you allow... That's why cheating hubby's rarely leave there spouse when it comes to A. I don't believe a cheating husband carrying on an A for years love their spouse. Why? Because they wouldn't put them in a situation in the first place to decide whether or not they should leave. JMO

 

I totally agree with this statement.

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