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Questioning my morals


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Hi guys.

 

I really need some help.

 

I am a 23 yr old Male. I have never had a proper girlfriend, and have spent yrs of my life lonely. I have a really active social life and lots of mates, but have never met anyone i wanna better myself for if that makes sense, though i really want to. I'm fed up of being alone.

 

Anyways, there's this girl I work with, who is a good friend of mine. Shes 24. Shes really nice and funny and I feel really comfortable with her. Shes engaged to be married and seems really happy. He's a really decent bloke and I've been round their house a few times for dinner etc, got to know him too. He's great and they make a nice couple. He is however 10 yrs older than her. Shes naturally a flirty person, though her other half knows this and jokes about it, he clearly trusted her.

 

She however has massive issues and has been going through a tough time recently, with depression/life issues (not boyfriend realted) etc and a few months ago she got really drunk and told me about it. On that same night, we went clubbing and I ended up pulling her aside to another part of the club and kissing her. We kissed for a few seconds b4 she got all upset and stopped it. We kinda spoke about it, she told me she told her boyfriend, we agreed it was stupid & it wouldnt happen again though wed still be m8s. I dont like her in that way, I guess she was victim to my loniness.

 

Anyways, a few weeks afta, I was having a BBQ with my housemates, and I as i knew her fiancee was away and she was on her own, I invited her round too. She came round on her way back from work, and I got her some wine, put on some music etc. Anyways, she ended up staying and getting drunk with us. When my housemate had gone to bed we ended up kissing & having sex. Like, i told her I didn't think it was a good idea (ok we were already doing stuff by this point) but we still carried on.

 

Anyways, she was really upset the next morning. She told her other half and I think hes sticking by her though i'm not sure. I thik they are going through a tough time but working @ things. She has tried talking to me, saying how much she cares of me as a friend, how terrible she feels about what shes done to me and her fiancee, and how she is really struggling to live with the mess she has caused.

 

Trouble is, i've now gotta work next to her at work so I have to see her every day.

 

I know she feels bad about what shes done, she keeps telling me. Thing is, i remember when i was drunk that night I asked her why she gave me the time of day, cos I am mean to her sometimes. I always take the mick outta her and say really hurtful things about her looks, and also the age difference in her relationship. I just cant help myself. Its just the way our relationship is. I dont wanna be an arsehole to her and most of the time i dont really know im doing it. She laughs along and stuff but sometimes she does get hurt but then im nice to her again and its all ok.

 

I am questioning my morals. Cos as I said to her, I dont like her in that way and i think she was victim to my loniness. But what sorta person sleeps with an engaged woman???? Am I a bad person????

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You both made a mistake.

 

Knowing how you feel now, maybe the next time you are faced with temptation you will extricate yourself from the situation before it gets out of hand.

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April Moon

After you made out at te club, I don't understand why you would invite her to your BBQ when you knew her fiancé wasn't around. It seems like the sex was pre-meditated on both of y'all's parts.

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