sushilonair1 Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 I really wanted some advice regarding this situation.i am thirty years old ,currently working in a bank.all my childhood and teen age went on without any relation with any girl.as i was too thin and low in weight,no girl wanted to make friendship with me.i understood it ,kept myself engaged in my studies.gradually i got a good job,and now i am a branch head.i have been working for three years.now i have developed a inferiority complex,that no girl will love me.i am just 155 cm in height and slim figured.as girl always look for smart,handsome,and a good height person,i am a way away from attracting any girl.i am depressed now.i feel alone and missing love life in my life.recently one situation came to my life,which has made my life miserable.recently a beautiful girl came to my life.she was a junior and i trained her littlebit.before joining of the girl,i came to know that ,the girl has a fiancee ,who is a major in defence sector(army).then initially i get in touch with her like a friend.she was good with me.she cared about me,so do i.we developed a close relation.finally i came to know that ,i am in deep love with her.i often woke up early morning ,because of her thought.the way she behaved with me,i thought she also likes me.she never ever talked about her fiancee.one day invited her to my house,she did not hesitate and wanted to come.i asked her to stay with me in my house for 3 hours and i wanted to have some time with her,as i was in love with her.on the night before the day she called me and agreed to come.she came and spent nearly four hours with me.she had informed her parents about the stay.she seemed very happy,but all of a sudden she asked me about whether you are coming to my marriage or not.i could not tell a single word.later when i told her about my feelings,she became angry and told me that,its been almost 15 years of her relationship with her fiancee.i have never expected this situation.she confirmed me that ,i am only a good friend of her.now i am i a deep sorrow.she is going to marry next month and i am still in love with her.i know i can not find a better girl like her.i donot know what to do.such a bad situation,i fall in love,that also ended like a disaster.now i think that god has created me for suffering.it has now become surety,that i can not get love from girl and i will remain always alone.she still sometime calls me and whenever i call her ,she is talking to me.the thought of her being touched by someone else,making me mad.pls help.advise me ,as still ,i have feeling for her.:(:(:(:( Link to post Share on other sites
J2911 Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 I'm sorry about your pain. I wish that I could say something positive for you that would ease your pain but I can't. Life is a lot of painful lessons that I believe one day we will have the unanswered questions answered for us another time. The first love of my life took me 17 years to get over. When I heard she was getting married , I wanted to just die. I did internally for the longest time . When I heard she had a family of her own I wondered why couldn't I be the husband and father . It just wasn't meant to be. She is now on her second marriage and second child and maybe , just maybe she is or was not the best wife to her spouses and ended in divorce. As the 17 years went by I loved others and realized that it's possible to be loved and to love another. My friend , it's not easy , however you just have to allow life to happen and if she is marrying another person well she has that right and she feels that she is marrying the right guy for her . Who's to say that her marriage will be successful and if not , maybe she will realize she should have gave you a chance and will find you again. If you are available then try that. If you're not available it wasn't meant to be. Life is about choices and consequences and pain and suffering as well as about love and faith and winnings and success and loss and tears of happiness and sadness too. All we can do is find inner peace and fix what we can and try to move on and learn from what we can't fix. Our job is to live the best we can everyday and be kind and show everyone love . I have read a lot of people's stories here and they have really been so beneficial for me to cope and learn from. When we think we cannot go on another day or accept the worst thing then another day goes by and we realize we are still breathing and living another day. Then another month goes by and another year goes by and we realize we are ok and life has other plans for us. I hope this gives you some peace. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 I am sorry that she was not clear that she was in a long-term relationship before. It's nice that she befriended you, though. Please don't let your sorrow make you forget that someone thought you were a good person who they enjoyed as a friend. It proves you are not as unacceptable as you think you are. You must just get past this. I know it makes you feel humiliated and sad. The best thing to do is stay busy and go out with any friends and do fun things and just continue to live life and have fun. It's the only cure for heartbreak. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sushilonair1 Posted April 20, 2014 Author Share Posted April 20, 2014 Thank you dear friends for your advices.i will try.donot know why,but have a strong feeling that,she will be mine oneday.might be this feeling will come to an end someday.donot know whether ,i will get someone like her,who will also love me.sometimes i feel really jealous about the peoples around me,who are in a good love relationship.really those people are blessed,who have got true love.certainly i am not blessed.yes ,time is passing............ Link to post Share on other sites
hard2c Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 friend I too am in your position in love with a betrothed girl. The agony is horrendous every night she invades my dreams most of my days are spent pondering and planning on winning her back. There are 7 billion people out there and all I want is her. Her fiance works in construction one can only imagine his salary. Throughout my life I have been a puny skinny bones Jones. This has plagued since birth, to add gasoline to the fire her fiance is a barrel chested virile man lofty in stature. I met her when I was a destitute student eating out of garbage can. Today all has been reversed life is looking up for me. Yet I am nothing without her! My boss is 65 years old and in love with an ex girlfriend whom he had dated 50 years ago according to him life doesn't get any easier. I'm your friend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Attachment issues Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 Please don't feel so sad. I am older women now in love with very petite MM. He says why now does he have great women after him when he was lonely in younger years! You should stay active and open to the possibilities. Good things happen when you are out with people and engaged. As comforting as internet can be, it can be isolating too. Don't miss the opportunities. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sushilonair1 Posted April 24, 2014 Author Share Posted April 24, 2014 Thank u madam for the the response.sometimes I think why do these people even come to our lives,?why our heart just fall prey to them.but is not it natural a lonely heart is often prone to these kind of situation.these days are really getting very imotional cry like situation. God also do not seem to listen.feeling alone........ Link to post Share on other sites
TiredFamilyGuy Posted April 25, 2014 Share Posted April 25, 2014 My dear chaps - so sorry to hear your predicaments. These feelings of unrequited love are painful but you must move on in life. Do not pine away for a committed person. I am a strong hairy barrel chested fellow - and myself envy the slim elegant well dressed graceful men sometimes, so do not judge yourselves harshly. Buy yourself a new shirt and cufflinks, and smile at the pretty women. Some will smile back. Weddings are good places to meet people, if you have eyes to see and a heart to feel. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sushilonair1 Posted June 24, 2014 Author Share Posted June 24, 2014 she got married,spend her honeymoon in Switzerland.after one month she returned back to office and on the date of joining to the office,she msgd me about the joining and wanted to know how am i.she is still in contact with me and writing to me that ,she will always be in contact.where ever she will,she will keep on updating her new number to me.i donot know what she wants.she is behaving as if nothing happened between us.what the biggest problem is ,when ever she is calling or msging,my love for her again arising.i am confused..pls suggest. Link to post Share on other sites
adna89 Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 (edited) she got married,spend her honeymoon in Switzerland.after one month she returned back to office and on the date of joining to the office,she msgd me about the joining and wanted to know how am i.she is still in contact with me and writing to me that ,she will always be in contact.where ever she will,she will keep on updating her new number to me.i donot know what she wants.she is behaving as if nothing happened between us.what the biggest problem is ,when ever she is calling or msging,my love for her again arising.i am confused..pls suggest. Tell her everything you wrote there,ask her what is her plan,why does she contact you ? maybe she just sees you as a friend For your own good,stop contacting her,because you will hurt yourself,you will not move on or be able to forget about her if you contact eachother Edited June 24, 2014 by adna89 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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