Soverysad123 Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 Hello. I have/had an affair for the last year. I am a MW and he is a MM. My marriage is ok. My husband is a good man, works hard, adores me, we work well as a family unit but we are just friends really. We provide a happy home for our children and they are happy, secure and thriving children with tons of confidence and smiles. My exMM is married to a women that puts him down, doesn't do anything for him, they have a terrible marriage, she has been physically abusive, shouts and doesn't want to do anything. She hates family days out and holidays. She just likes being at home. He works hard and they have a very nice life style financially. They just about tolerate each other. They have two children. He won't leave his marriage even though it's terrible because of his children. He couldn't not see them everyday. I won't leave my marriage because of my children. I have divorced parents and hated it, so won't do that to my children. We have really enjoyed each other's company over the last year and neither of our partners knew anything about it. We both fell in love and talked and emails everyday and saw each other once a week ish. He is just amazing to me and he felt the same about me. We just are both on the same level, wave length etc. I truly love him with every part of me and because of him now know what I am missing in my marriage. He will leave his marriage in 5/10 years - when his children are grown up. I am not sure what I will do then but certainly can't focus on 5/10 years. We broke up 5 weeks ago. My doing because I just felt so guilty that I was living a double life and I made wedding vowes that i was not keeping. If we were found out and it was only a matter of time, my husband would be crushed beyond repairable. So I ended it via email, he agreed that it was the right thing to do but for me to remember he is not going anywhere and that I was beautiful etc etc. After a week we were back in contact. He just wants to be friends and has told me hundreds of times that is all he ever wants from me and he has moved on, then he back tracts and says that he just says that to be cruel to be kind. I just am so confused as where my head is. On one hand I am pleased we are in contact because NC was hell but our phone conversations are so roller coast. He said today that he loves me and is pleased we are friends because he thought he would never talk to me again, that it was over and I am his best friend. I said that i agreed we should just be friends and I have moved forward but I didn't mean it, just said it as he just wants to be friends. I do want him in my life but I want him back as an affaire partner but if that happened (and I don't think he wants that as he has said friends thousand of times) I think I wont really be able to handle the emotion of it all again. The missing him just hurts. We are going away on holiday tomorrow as a family so I won't now hear from him until I get back as he closed his email account down when we where on NC and text is too dangerous. So I am just left in limbo and need to shake myself out of it and enjoy my time away with my family. Sorry I have really gone on. Basically I just feel s..t Link to post Share on other sites
wanting more Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 How do you know his marriage is that bad? You know if you're found out things will be tougher than you could ever imagine. You're going on vacation. Focus on your husband and family. Who really wants to wait 5/10 years on a bullshi* line anyway? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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