Apothecary Posted April 14, 2014 Share Posted April 14, 2014 Well I don't know why my prior thread was closed? But anyway, to respond to the last few posts - I am not suffering from sexual trauma or anything like that. I was in love with my boyfriend when I decided to sleep with him. I am terrified of disease and pregnancy, which is why I don't sleep around (and why my actions last week totally shocked me and why my current lustful feelings have taken me by surprise). I forgot to mention that our mutual friend is married himself! Older, in his early 50's. I've come to care for him deeply as a friend but nothing more, even though he wants it to be more than platonic. So now you know why I find it totally ridiculous for him to tell other men to back away from me when he's married! MM texted me today just to chit chat. He has texted me every time, I have not initiated it. I know I shouldn't respond.. Link to post Share on other sites
Speakingofwhich Posted April 14, 2014 Share Posted April 14, 2014 I know I shouldn't respond.. This post sounds good, Apothecary. You are right on target with the above! You have no idea the pain you're avoiding by stopping this now. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 14, 2014 Share Posted April 14, 2014 Well I don't know why my prior thread was closed? But anyway, to respond to the last few posts - I am not suffering from sexual trauma or anything like that. I was in love with my boyfriend when I decided to sleep with him. I am terrified of disease and pregnancy, which is why I don't sleep around (and why my actions last week totally shocked me and why my current lustful feelings have taken me by surprise). I forgot to mention that our mutual friend is married himself! Older, in his early 50's. I've come to care for him deeply as a friend but nothing more, even though he wants it to be more than platonic. So now you know why I find it totally ridiculous for him to tell other men to back away from me when he's married! MM texted me today just to chit chat. He has texted me every time, I have not initiated it. I know I shouldn't respond.. But did you respond? Link to post Share on other sites
FoolishOW Posted April 14, 2014 Share Posted April 14, 2014 Does/will anyone answer as to why the original post was closed? It would be helpful to know for future reference. Link to post Share on other sites
Tullyseptember Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 It is good that you haven't experienced any traumatic experiences. I thought I was off base and will keep my remarks specific to your update. Well your mention of the man who said your off limits and is also married is concerning. It might be best to stay away from both these people. They might stir up a little rivalry with you caught in the middle that could cause heaps of trouble you weren't expecting. Take care of you, your emotions and your reputation before these other men:) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Apothecary Posted April 15, 2014 Author Share Posted April 15, 2014 It is good that you haven't experienced any traumatic experiences. I thought I was off base and will keep my remarks specific to your update. Well your mention of the man who said your off limits and is also married is concerning. It might be best to stay away from both these people. They might stir up a little rivalry with you caught in the middle that could cause heaps of trouble you weren't expecting. Take care of you, your emotions and your reputation before these other men:) It's a little crazy. I actually feel so bad that I hooked up with this guy. The other one is SO wonderful, kind, generous, giving... I guess MM and I are both horrible people. Link to post Share on other sites
Tullyseptember Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 Your not horrible people, not all. The choices can have horrible consequences. It would be terrible for you to try to navigate through a very potentially messy outcome. My apologies if you thought I was calling you horrible;( I've made some horrible choices myself where I really hurt myself. It's taken me a very long time to forgive myself. Link to post Share on other sites
woinlove Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 It's a little crazy. I actually feel so bad that I hooked up with this guy. The other one is SO wonderful, kind, generous, giving... I guess MM and I are both horrible people. don't worry. You can turn things around and start feeling great about yourself by making choices you are proud of, choices that make you feel confident and good about yourself. Don't worry about what kind of person MM is - he doesn't seem to have the integrity to deal with situations honestly and openly but that is for him to figure out and deal with. Just focus on yourself and how you want to treat yourself and others in order to feel good about yourself. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Speakingofwhich Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 The other one is SO wonderful, kind, generous, giving... and married, too? Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 It's a little crazy. I actually feel so bad that I hooked up with this guy. The other one is SO wonderful, kind, generous, giving... I guess MM and I are both horrible people. It's not crazy that you feel bad. It means you have a conscience. That's a good thing. But isn't the other guy married too? Why not find a nice single guy instead? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Apothecary Posted April 15, 2014 Author Share Posted April 15, 2014 It's not crazy that you feel bad. It means you have a conscience. That's a good thing. But isn't the other guy married too? Why not find a nice single guy instead? The other man I care for as a friend, nothing more. And even though he's married I don't want him to get hurt. He's been nothing but wonderful to me and my friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Betterthanthis13 Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 The other man I care for as a friend, nothing more. And even though he's married I don't want him to get hurt. He's been nothing but wonderful to me and my friends. In what way would mm #1 (the friend who told mm #2 and your other friends you were "off limits"?) be hurt? This is very confusing, can you explain a bit? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Apothecary Posted April 15, 2014 Author Share Posted April 15, 2014 In what way would mm #1 (the friend who told mm #2 and your other friends you were "off limits"?) be hurt? This is very confusing, can you explain a bit? Older MM likes me, has made it very clear he'd like to get romantic. I am not attracted to him so nothing has hhappened. Nevertheless, whether he wants to impress me or try to get me to like him, he was been wonderful to me and to my friends. He has done some very sweet and thoughtful things. He is honestly a great man, aside from the wanting to cheat. So I'd feel horrible if he found out I messed around with that other guy who I barely know and who is probably a player, as opposed to getting involved with him, who I've gotten to know and trust over the past few months. Hope that makes sense... Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 Older MM likes me, has made it very clear he'd like to get romantic. I am not attracted to him so nothing has hhappened. Nevertheless, whether he wants to impress me or try to get me to like him, he was been wonderful to me and to my friends. He has done some very sweet and thoughtful things. He is honestly a great man, aside from the wanting to cheat. So I'd feel horrible if he found out I messed around with that other guy who I barely know and who is probably a player, as opposed to getting involved with him, who I've gotten to know and trust over the past few months. Hope that makes sense... Is that the only reason that nothing has happened? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Apothecary Posted April 15, 2014 Author Share Posted April 15, 2014 Is that the only reason that nothing has happened? No, I don't care for married or unavailable men, which is why I'm surprised by how much I like other Mm. Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 Good answer. Hope you decide to do the right thing with the MM. Link to post Share on other sites
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