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why wont he just disappear?


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wasntlooking

For those who know my story, im doing so much better. Theres just one thing that still makes me say why? My xmm is still on that online game we met on, still on my list, i cant take him off, and he still uses same name and is still playing. Now you csn change your name very easily and he can stop playing under this name. He knows i can see his name and contact him. Why wont he just disappear? I dont make myself appear on the game anymore so he cant see me. It just makes me wonder that he must trust me that much not to make himself invisible to me.

 

 

To me, if i didnt want anything to do wiyh someone i would hide myself and change everything. Why hasn't he done that? It makes it harder in NC for sure but im really doing ok in that aspect. So much better thanks to time.

 

This is just a question and hopefully some males can help me answer and not get a lecture. I am the one who ended the A with very little response from him and ive changed my email and name on game.

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whichwayisup

I think if it bugs you so much, change your username and block him. This is for your own sanity.

 

Maybe he is playing a game, maybe he doesn't care, maybe he's over it, maybe it's not him playing, it's his wife or one of their kids. You'll never know the answers to what you ask above.

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He's probably not putting as as much thought into it as you are (most men are simple). If you change your name, will that allow you to change your friend list?

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wasntlooking

Ive changed my name already, twice, he still shows.....and i know its him playing, he had very distinct times he plays......and it doesnt bug me that much, was just a random thought i had today. Trust me, i can contact him anytime but I dont.

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wasntlooking

Im just looking for opinions.......he must not think im psycho right? Lol.....i know men are more simple minded for sure.....just would think if he really didnt want me to contact he woyld make himself disappear. No lectures please, ive got a good handle n myself lately and can cntact him at anytime but i choose not to.....its not the same anymore.

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Once you stop looking for him or things that reminds you of him... He will disappear unless you tow work together or cross paths a lot.

 

You can stop looking to see if he's still playing games online.... Just like I can stop myself from looking at his FB profile pics at times.

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wasntlooking

Coco, you are correct i could stop looking. I dont obsess like i used to, its really not the same anymore and i can obviously contact him at any point and I dont. Its not worth going there anymore.

 

Yes i do have weak days still, no doubt. Dont think i can completely erase him out of my life forever. Its too late for that..........but yea you are right but he will never disappear from my head completely.

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Coco, you are correct i could stop looking. I dont obsess like i used to, its really not the same anymore and i can obviously contact him at any point and I dont. Its not worth going there anymore.

 

Yes i do have weak days still, no doubt. Dont think i can completely erase him out of my life forever. Its too late for that..........but yea you are right but he will never disappear from my head completely.

 

I'm not the type to say "block so and so" out of your life, but until you get your feelings for ur XMM under control... You truly won't care whether or not you can see what he's doing on social media.

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You said you changed your name, so he thinks you're gone. If this bugs you so much, all I can tell you is no game is worth putting you through annoying contact with an ex, and games are expendable.

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When you still care or are affected by the other person you do everything you can to avoid them. When you don't care, you don't care. You just resume what you normally do.

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You can not know if he has gone on with his life without a hitch, or if he's just pretending to go on with his life. You simply will not know which one it is. Either way, you should not reach out to him.

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wasntlooking

Thanks for the thoughts. Its just something ive wondered about. Ive pretended very wrll to go on with my life. I dont think ive given any inclination to him that ive struggled so he probably thinks im gone.....ive hidden my name anyways so theres no way he can tell. As far as he knows ive moved on without a hitch. When i did send him a msg on his bday ( yes broke NC) i hinted at the fact i was busy and wasnt playing much anymore, which is true........was just wondering what opinions were. He was always pretty chill person anyways.....always very calm so hes probably just going on like usual

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He could just like the name. I'm an avid online gamer myself, and I have a couple of names I use regularly. Just because I am no longer seeing someone that I met online, doesn't mean I'm going to change my name.

 

 

I'm known by those names online, to my guild, friends, etc. Just block him, easy enough to do. Take him off of your social list and you won't even know when he's on.

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wasntlooking

Cant block him, i play like once a week so it really doesnt bother me, i was just thinking why he hasnt changed it, thats all. Im probably analyzing it too much but if he really never wanted me to have a chance to contact, hed change it..........

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inappfriendly

I have no answers, Wasntlooking, except to wonder if he is just teasing you. You know my story and how I see my ex at school occasionally. Just the other day he stationed himself directly in front of the door I exit for my lunch break to purposefully avoid him! Why?! To torment me? Seeing him still brings me to my knees. I can imagine seeing his name still has the power to bring up feelings in you. Believing they are oblivious rather than cruel would be ideal, but I am just not sure what the truth is...

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i guess the answer would depend on did he stop playing after you went NC and then suddenly come back on? and what type of gamer is he? some of my friends would continue playing even if a t-rex came running thru the living room forget about an affair.

 

Unless im missing something from when you broke NC..he's not gonna hide from you or go out of his way because you are the one who went NC and wanted NC so if thats what you want then its up to you to "disappear" or not play when you know he's going to be on.

 

does he know you still play? from my perspective if both of you are playing the same game at the same time where both of you met then theres def something there...from BOTH ends.

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wasntlooking

Xeno mouse

He just plays the one game and usually only at work. I dont play much but am still on there. He never stopped playing ever, ecen when i stopped talkng to him.

 

I did break NC on his bday a couple weeks ago. I just said happy bday and he replied back thank you. I sent him that msg over the game, thats the way we commnicated always. I left the bday msg at that, nothing more was said.

 

I just wonder if hes just not affected by it or he doesnt want to cut ties with his name on the game n case i want to reach back out.....just something i think about. Since breaking nc, i notice hes on more.....yes i do stalk sometimes

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He probably just enjoys playing the game and he's not thinking about the fact that he still shows up on your list. Or maybe he's not even aware that he's still on your list since you changed your name. Men are not generally that complicated.

 

Stalking is breaking NC. NC is not for them, it's for you. So you're not really in NC until you stop stalking.

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wasntlooking

Yes i know i should stop stalking him on the game, i know that. I think some people are looking into this too much . I am doing much better than i was. I dont think ill ever be 100% again but am happy with how far ive come. The once a week that i play yes i do look for him but dont converse with him.

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