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DarkAngel87

I am seeing this married man for 3 months. My married man wife doesn’t know about affair as of yet and I hope she never does. She does know that I live close by and I see her husband for lunch or drinks often. Today while he was at work (we work together) he brought up the idea of me meeting his wife. He mentioned to me meeting his wife and going out for lunch and he said that his wife and I would get along great. He one time asked me to a family function, but he backed out this was before we stared the affair. I expressed to him that I have no desire to meet his wife.

 

This has me wondering if this kind of behavior is normal?

 

Have any other women become friend with married man’s wife while actively having a affair with her husband?

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Hope Shimmers
I am seeing this married man for 3 months. My married man wife doesn’t know about affair as of yet and I hope she never does. She does know that I live close by and I see her husband for lunch or drinks often. Today while he was at work (we work together) he brought up the idea of me meeting his wife. He mentioned to me meeting his wife and going out for lunch and he said that his wife and I would get along great. He one time asked me to a family function, but he backed out this was before we stared the affair. I expressed to him that I have no desire to meet his wife.

 

This has me wondering if this kind of behavior is normal?

 

Have any other women become friend with married man’s wife while actively having a affair with her husband?

 

:eek: Did he say why he wants you to meet his wife?

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underwater2010

There are a few threads started today by OW/MOW that know or have been friends with their MOM's wife. I have one warning:

 

DO NOT DO IT!!!!

 

It is bad enough that neither of you can respect his BW enough to NOT carry on an affair...but to secretly rub her nose in it is even worse.

 

Keep your distance....the outcome when found out will 10X as bad if you meet up with her.

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whichwayisup
I am seeing this married man for 3 months. My married man wife doesn’t know about affair as of yet and I hope she never does. She does know that I live close by and I see her husband for lunch or drinks often. Today while he was at work (we work together) he brought up the idea of me meeting his wife. He mentioned to me meeting his wife and going out for lunch and he said that his wife and I would get along great. He one time asked me to a family function, but he backed out this was before we stared the affair. I expressed to him that I have no desire to meet his wife.

 

This has me wondering if this kind of behavior is normal?

 

Have any other women become friend with married man’s wife while actively having a affair with her husband?

 

I think he's doing it to ease his guilt so he can freely see you and then throw in his wife's face if she questions him about seeing you often. Or, he is gonna get a sick twist out of it knowing you're around his wife and having an A with you.

 

Don't do it or even consider this. It's bad enough he's cheating on her, it'll be worse if you befriend her - You both would be making a total fool of her.

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I'm wondering why on earth he would suggest that. I'm also wondering why she knows that you two hang out and if she finds that normal. Could it be that this guy is looking into a threesome? Lol (sorry, it has crossed my mind)

 

If not, then he shows no respect for his wife, nor should you want to meet her. Out of respect, if one can say so (because the whole situation doesn't really show much respect for anyone involved!).

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...he said that his wife and I would get along great.

 

Yeah, and maybe if it goes really well you could all have a threesome.

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Michelle ma Belle

This is f**ked up! Seriously. This guy sounds like he's got some sick fantasy he's itching to play out. I can't imagine why anyone would entertain such a asinine idea.

 

My advice? Run. Run as far away from this man as you can. As Underwater2010 said, it's one thing to go on having an affair but a whole other thing to rub his wife's nose in it whether she's aware of it or not.

 

Mental.

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DarkAngel87
:eek: Did he say why he wants you to meet his wife?

 

He believes we share many of the same hobbies and could be good friends if we gave each other the chances.

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Michelle ma Belle
I'm wondering why on earth he would suggest that. I'm also wondering why she knows that you two hang out and if she finds that normal. Could it be that this guy is looking into a threesome? Lol (sorry, it has crossed my mind)

 

If not, then he shows no respect for his wife, nor should you want to meet her. Out of respect, if one can say so (because the whole situation doesn't really show much respect for anyone involved!).

 

Exactly! There is no respect being served up here. If there was, there wouldn't BE an affair to begin with.

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He believes we share many of the same hobbies and could be good friends if we gave each other the chances.

 

Friendship and lying/betraying don't match. You can be friends with her...just not in this lifetime probably. :)

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whichwayisup
He believes we share many of the same hobbies and could be good friends if we gave each other the chances.

 

How do you honestly feel about this?

 

I hope it sickens you.

 

Look, you've had a 3 month affair with him, that's not a lot of time invested. Has it occurred to you that you really do not know him at all and maybe consider ending your A?

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He believes we share many of the same hobbies and could be good friends if we gave each other the chances.

 

Does this sound right to you? You're going to be 'good friends' with this woman but not tell her that you're sleeping with her husband? What does a 'bad friend' do?

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Yeah, and maybe if it goes really well you could all have a threesome.

 

 

This was my thought...he is fantasizing about a 3-some.

 

Or worse, he gets off on torturing his wife without her knowing it. This guys sounds really, really off. I think you need to run away...you are only 3 months in, you can break free.

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VeronicaRoss

1. You're having an affair. That's a pretty gross violation of another woman.

 

2. The guy wants you to become buddies with her, doubling his betrayal of her.

 

3. You're weirdly detached from any typical emotion around both of these truly messed up situations.

 

Where are your feelings in all of this? Why are you so cut off from your life and emotions and concern for another human being? What else is going on with you?

 

Something tells me this is WAY beyond LS capabilities.

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ThatGirl213

He wanting you to meet his wife makes no sense. Why would any husband ever want his wife to meet the other woman? I seriously think this man has some serious issues. Does he think that you need a new friend or you don't have other friends with who you share common interests and hobbies to be around?

 

Like others mentioned, he must be fantasizing about a threesome. So if that ever happens and his wife gets to know of the affair afterwards, he can tell his wife "well you were fine with a threesome, so why can't I have sex with her otherwise?" Lame excuse, I know but if he can cheat on his wife, disrespect his marriage and wants his OW to meet his wife, he is capable of anything.

 

Run away from this man, no matter what he says to make you stay. This is already a red flag. I am sure you can get a single man who isn't nuts in the head.

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My OM encouraged me to be friends with his wife in the beginning. We are very different me and her so for that and obvious other reasons I was never comfortable around her and he doesn't say much about it anymore but at the time he felt we could see and hang out more if me and her were friends too.

 

He has flat out said it turned him on to know we were at the gym at the same time and has texted me things he should not, when I'm in her presence.

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Open marriages do exist. So if the mistress and wife are open in sharing this gent, then so be it. Some marriages actually are alive and well thru this lifestyle choice. Its not for some, yet ive met my share and consider them functioning more so then closed marriages where deceit is the culprit.

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DarkAngel87
I think he's doing it to ease his guilt so he can freely see you and then throw in his wife's face if she questions him about seeing you often. Or, he is gonna get a sick twist out of it knowing you're around his wife and having an A with you.

 

Don't do it or even consider this. It's bad enough he's cheating on her, it'll be worse if you befriend her - You both would be making a total fool of her.

 

I don’t really see how this could ease his guilt. You would believe it would cause more guilt I know it would cause me more guilt.

 

We both work with each other and during our break we meet each other for lunch and sometimes after work with go out for drinks. It isn't that often we see each maybe 2-3 a day including the time spent working together. She doesn't seem too worried about me or question him about me.

 

I don’t believe my guy is the kind of guy to get some sort of sick kind pleasure from this.

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DarkAngel87
I'm wondering why on earth he would suggest that. I'm also wondering why she knows that you two hang out and if she finds that normal. Could it be that this guy is looking into a threesome? Lol (sorry, it has crossed my mind)

 

If not, then he shows no respect for his wife, nor should you want to meet her. Out of respect, if one can say so (because the whole situation doesn't really show much respect for anyone involved!).

 

She believes we are only friends nothing more than that and we are just with benefits. We don’t spend that much time together only a few hours a day and its most during his free time.

 

His wife isn’t the kind of women who would be ok with a 3some. She is religious and goes to church nightly. She also involved with many Christian charities. I don’t see her as women who would be ok with having a 3some and I don’t want one either.

 

I was only asking a question I don’t plan on becoming friends with his wife.

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Open marriages do exist. So if the mistress and wife are open in sharing this gent, then so be it. Some marriages actually are alive and well thru this lifestyle choice. Its not for some, yet ive met my share and consider them functioning more so then closed marriages where deceit is the culprit.

 

Yeah but this open marriage is kinda one-sided, dontcha think? And the open marriages that really work are the ones where there's an immense amount of honesty, trust, and protection of the primary relationship. This doesn't sound like one of those.

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He's a genius.

 

If she doesn't suspect you now - NO way she suspects you when you befriend her.

Why he's going to hide you in plain sight.

 

As a bonus, you can use, provided you two become "close", whatever secrets she shares with you against her! Just think of the games you can play should she confide in you that she fears her H is cheating on her.

 

As a double bonus - she can be DOUBLE betrayed on d-day. By her H AND you.

 

I'm sure she TOTALLY deserves to be treated like that.

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whichwayisup
She believes we are only friends nothing more than that and we are just with benefits. We don’t spend that much time together only a few hours a day and its most during his free time.

 

His wife isn’t the kind of women who would be ok with a 3some. She is religious and goes to church nightly. She also involved with many Christian charities. I don’t see her as women who would be ok with having a 3some and I don’t want one either.

 

I was only asking a question I don’t plan on becoming friends with his wife.

 

Of course she is going to believe that. He's manipulated and is a good liar to make it seem like all is fine and you are 'just' a friend. Why would she doubt her own husband? He is a skilled liar and knows how to play the game.

 

You must keep in mind that even though he's having an affair with you, he still is 'living life' with his wife and that includes sharing a bed with her... Just saying I really hope you don't let yourself fall deeply in love with him and hope some day he'll divorce her and be with you.

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