MapleWish Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 Ok long i know but i just honestly need advice. my boyfriend and i have been together over 5 months, he's 19 and i'm 20, we're a year and 6 months apart and before we started dating i told myself i wanted an OLDER guy, i haven't dated A LOT but the guys i have were all younger than me. so i set my standards a little higher. so now where i work we recently a hired a 28 year old. he's friendly, charming, very attractive and just one of "those" coworkers that'll flirt all the time, whether he means anything by it or not, and i'll flirt back. i feel i've developed sort of a crush on him, i enjoy nights i work with him and i try to find excuses to be around him, like taking beer bottles to the bar when he's in that vicinity. YES i feel awful for feeling this way when i have a boyfriend but to be honest the entire time i've been with my boyfriend i've been telling myself i forfeited my standards of wanting an older guy and i'm having to deal with the traits of someone younger than me (something i wasn't too keen on doing again), like i kinda want someone older, more mature, knows what they want,, etc. i asked my coworker tonight coyly if he was married, engaged, or had a gf and when he said no i brushed it off claiming that i was just checking cause i'd feel bad flirting with him if he was taken (and yes i actually would, if he was taken i'd keep away). there's been no indication he likes me he's just a flirt, but he knows i'm flirting (he's ok with it) and he knows i find him attractive. we don't have a whole lotta time to talk at work so i figured i'd get his number to text him and find out more about him, if there's any connection tween us and then figure if he's what i'm looking for or not, hence if he's a player, or a one night stand guy (not my type). only thing i know about him so far is he has an ex he still talks to which MAY imply he still has feelings but we havent discussed that far. i do love my boyfriend but feeling this way i think of a scene in Six Days Seven Nights, at the end one couple was saying that if they truly were in love, then the girl wouldn't have fallen for Harrison Ford's character. my boyfriend is everything i could want but he was single for 2 years before he started dating me, he was clueless about relationships, so i feel like older is what i need. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 That's bunk that people in love don't look & perhaps long for somebody outside the relationship. True love, they don't act on it. You're young & your relationship with your BF is still new. Yeah, yeah I know at 19 5 months is half a year . . . talk to me when you get to 5 years. If you still want to explore your options do so. Break up with your BF 1st; don't cheat. Not wanting to be tied down at your age is just fine. Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 lol you should still be in the honeymoon stage with your bf. You are too young to get too terribly serious anyway so 5 mos seems a good time to break things off with your bf. Does your coworker know you have a bf? At 28 he is too old for you, imo, and could very well either just decide to "use" you for fun. Or, if he actually is as mature as you say, he won't be interested in you anyway cause most mature people realize that someone who is sniffing around elsewhere while still in a relationship isn't exactly relationship material! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 So, if this guy is interested in you and wants you, you'll probably break up with your boyfriend and go be with this older co worker, right? And, if this older co worker isn't interested in you that way at all, you'll stay with your boyfriend I take it? My advice is, dump your boyfriend since you seem too hung up on the age difference (which really is nothing, one year) and would prefer someone older with more experience. You aren't "in love" with your bf, if you were, you wouldn't be lusting after someone else. Having a crush on someone is supposed to be fun and harmless, with no intention of hurting anybody else. your crush isn't like that at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Sparta Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 Trying to make an excuse to be unfaithful... What about breaking up with your boyfriend that's not an option. Why do you have to hurt your boyfriend. It just shows the lack of character and integrity that you have this has nothing to do with anybody but yourself. I love how you can blame it on your boyfriend he's younger he doesn't have a clue about a relationship. By the way you don't have a clue about a relationship. Do your boyfriend a favor and break up with him so he can meet a decent girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Artie Lang Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 sounds like you need some growing up to do. clearly, you are waaay too immature to be in a serious relationship. i say you break up with your boyfriend and determine what you really want before you end up hurting a good person. again- GROW UP!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author MapleWish Posted November 12, 2013 Author Share Posted November 12, 2013 NO I didn't say I'd be unfaithful. First of all I even had this talk with my fathers girlfriend, she understands the boat I'm in and thinks its good I'm thinking about things first and not just acting right away. IF I were to pursue my coworker I'd end things with my boyfriend. And that aside, I'm the only one that knows my boyfriend and YES he was clueless about relationships before we started dating. He'd clarified that me many times and always had to ask what was ok and what wasnt so stop assuming. Growing up? Yes I'm still young and need to do so but all I've dated was long term I like long term and serious relationships Link to post Share on other sites
Artie Lang Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 like i said, you're waaay too young and inexperienced to hold a serious relationship. time to go back to school, little girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 like i said, you're waaay too young and inexperienced to hold a serious relationship. time to go back to school, little girl. Ignore this dude. You need to really decide. What is it you want more. Your boyfriend, or an older guy. You need to take into consideration that you may leave your boyfriend, and this dude may leave you in 3 weeks. You need to take the 2 extremes of both choices and compare them. Would you rather never go on a date with this guy and have your relationship be dull and lifeless with your boyfriend or would you rather leave your boyfriend and have this guy leave you or cheat on you or something like that. Link to post Share on other sites
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