Wambo Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Sorry for starting another thread. I thought my situation was drawing to a close and any future posts on my byhalf would only contribute to other people topics. For a quick summary I was involved in an emotional affair with a co worker/good friend. I started the NC process since last November and since then it has been an emotional rollercoaster ride. At present there is some contact between us but I'm trying to make it near NC as possible. I think the final nail to our friendship is when she moved in with her boyfriend and wanted the EA to continue. These mind games started several weeks ago. First she was playing hard to get, which suited me fine because it contributed to NC. I guess that backfired on her. What followed afterward was two weeks of stares and waiting for me to make the next move. So her next trick was going up to my male co worker friends while I'm present and start talking to them. At first I thought it could be a fluke but now it's obivious it one of her games. The funny thing is she had no prior contact with them. I just can't understand why she would want to restart the EA? Our situations had change and so had our working environment. The only way the EA could continue if there's a change in department or it's taken outside. The later can't happen because she moved in with her boyfriend and would be difficult to hide. So what the point of all this. Link to post Share on other sites
whatatangledweb Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 It is an ego trip for her. She wants you to want her. She also seems to want to make you jealous as that would feed her ego. Keep ignoring her. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
happy stillmore Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 I so totally agree with tangles. You deserve better than her. She is a player. She has insecurity issues. If she was with you, she would always be looking for someone else to boost her up. Run from her. Sorry. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
happy stillmore Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Actually, if I saw her doing that, it would annoy me to see someone blatantly using people. She is using them to get your attention. She uses you to boost her up. Face it, she wouldn't have the ability to love you for you. She loves the idea that you give her attention. Don't give her the satisfaction and watch to see how angry she becomes. It will drive her crazy that someone that she previously thought was a puppet, who worshipped her, would no longer fall under her "spell." She deserves to be ignored. You deserved to be loved for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 The game ends when you stop playing. Your A is over, she's with her boyfriend and she wants your attention, which is why she's pulling out all the stops in hopes to get your attention. Screw that! Ignore her, act like you couldn't care less and go on with your life. She's not worth it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
trailrunner1975 Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 Run run run. You are an ego boost, nothing more. Been there, not fun. Ignore her and she will stop eventually. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wambo Posted August 28, 2013 Author Share Posted August 28, 2013 Thank you all for your comments and advice. I don't think my situation is as straightforward as you lot are making out. I haven't responded yet to her mind games and yes I do find them pathetic, however at the sametime I do believe there is a bigger picture behind this. Our working situation had change due to the compnay restructing and we both moved to different departments. There is no way we could restart the EA in our current working environment. So why is she making an effort to target me when there are her other friends who could fill in my shoes? Link to post Share on other sites
trailrunner1975 Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 It may just be sheer boredom on her part. Hard to say and is really of no consequence in the long run. Just keep yourself out of her web. Simplistic answer I know, but you could spend forever trying to figure it all out and never find an answer. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wambo Posted August 29, 2013 Author Share Posted August 29, 2013 It may just be sheer boredom on her part. Hard to say and is really of no consequence in the long run. Just keep yourself out of her web. Simplistic answer I know, but you could spend forever trying to figure it all out and never find an answer. The answer is there in plain sight. She's using mind games to make me jealous because all her other attempts to re establish the EA had failed. There's no other alternative reason why she playing mind games unless she likes to hurt herself through psychological means. Once again I'm placed in a difficult situation and once again I need to put her health before mine. Afterall we used to be good friends and I don't want to see her beat her self up over me. I'm so angry this situation doesn't want to go away and at the sametime I'm moving forward. She should of strengthen her bonds with her boyfriend by now or found a replacement EA. I guess it doesn't help she is putting on weight and I'm keeping myself fit and healthy. Link to post Share on other sites
KentuckyGent Posted August 30, 2013 Share Posted August 30, 2013 Run run run. You are an ego boost, nothing more. Been there, not fun. Ignore her and she will stop eventually. It is so much easier said than done. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted August 30, 2013 Share Posted August 30, 2013 A person can only play mind games with you if you allow it. She's in a relationship, moved in with him- yet plays push and pull with you on the side. You are participating in her games because you choose to respond. You have all the tools you need to walk away, you know this woman is trouble- but you choose to stay and play as much as she does. Don't participate. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wambo Posted August 30, 2013 Author Share Posted August 30, 2013 A person can only play mind games with you if you allow it. She's in a relationship, moved in with him- yet plays push and pull with you on the side. You are participating in her games because you choose to respond. You have all the tools you need to walk away, you know this woman is trouble- but you choose to stay and play as much as she does. Don't participate. I'm not planning to. End of the day these games are the result of my NC and a way to make me jealous. The only results it will cause is even more emotional stress on herself. For me it just push me further away because it shows she doen't repect me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wambo Posted August 30, 2013 Author Share Posted August 30, 2013 I really like how you shooed away everyones' opinions and then answered your own questions. If you know the answer why did you even bother to ask it in the first place? This reeks of you wanting validation that she is somehow pining over you. I didn't shoo anyone away and I needed other people opinion/experience on the matter. What they don't know is the full extent of the matter with the very questionable boyfriend or the friendship we had before it turned into an EA. The fact she never played mind games on me before shows she want me back. It also shows she is insecure in her situation and knows she will lose in a heated disagreement with me. Link to post Share on other sites
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