LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > The Other Man / Woman

Affairs, just not worth it


The Other Man / Woman The other side of the story: Support and discussion for those who find themselves involved with a committed partner.

Like Tree21Likes
 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 13th September 2012, 3:32 PM   #16
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Fish Hoek
Posts: 388
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pierre View Post
It is very hard to resist sex, I agree. I don't think that makes a man (or a woman) a bad person.

I am mostly concerned with hurting innocent bystanders for achieving the goal of getting the sex. I think that as caring humans we could show compassion and consideration for others.

Tell me about it! That's the hardest part and what messes with your mind, or mine, the most. Just knowing how hurt the BS will be when he finds out that his wife is giving her body to someone else. It's never right. In the OP's case, he invested a lot of his feelings in the affair to the point of wanting to start a life with the WS. In my case, it's mostly sex, and because emotions are kept in check, it's so much harder to put an end to it.
LoveTKO is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13th September 2012, 3:58 PM   #17
Established Member
 
JamesM's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: In Between Two Large Bodies of Water
Posts: 8,069
Thanks, mr h, for this thread. It hits home for someone like me who is not interested in one but is certainly vulnerable to one.

Thankfully, I don't see of any temptaions for one...right now.

Pierre, while I sympathize with your situation(s) re cheating, I would slightly disagree that in all cases the victim is an "innocent bystander." Certainly in your case it sounds like that, but in other relationships, the WS chose an affair because it presented itself as a good option. Why? Because his or her marriage was lacking and the spouse showed no interest n changing it. You know where I am coming from, I think.

Yes, we all have a choice, but (using food as an analogy), if you withhold food from someone and then someone else sets a very inviting plate in front of him, then how can you not expect him to partake of the other person's cooking?

Hunger for sexual intimacy can be very similar. And at that point the pain that an affair causes is forgotten.

Moral of this is...don't ever let an affair be attractive to your partner if you can do anything to prevent it.
__________________
"A REAL FRIEND IS ONE WHO WALKS IN WHEN
THE REST OF THE WORLD WALKS OUT"
JamesM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13th September 2012, 10:42 PM   #18
Established Member
 
JamesM's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: In Between Two Large Bodies of Water
Posts: 8,069
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pierre View Post
I have said more than once that some betrayed spouses are so lousy that they deserve the betrayal.

However, most cheaters almost always rewrite marital history to justify cheating. I hope you see the difference.
I do. .....
JamesM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th September 2012, 10:01 PM   #19
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 39
I was one of the ones that tried to justify an affair in the beginning. I was really unhappy with my relationship. But having an affair made it worse. Especially since much of my reasons were not only sexual but emotional, i was left feeling hurt after the affair ended. so utterly hurt. It isn't real and you realize that and become even more depressed. I hope everyone will either work on it with their spouse or break up. Never have sex with someone who is not really available..
s1421 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th September 2012, 11:43 PM   #20
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 574
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ladydrib View Post
Why can't you end whatever unhappy relationships you are in and be together in a real relationship? It really is sad to think the people who are together are not in love and the people who are in love cannot make that change to be together.

I second that!
canuckprincess is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28th September 2012, 11:34 AM   #21
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 193
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ladydrib View Post
Why can't you end whatever unhappy relationships you are in and be together in a real relationship?
Some people are too scared to face change and yet too comfortable with the status quo to risk losing what they have.
Fitz is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
I feel that physical affairs are far worse than emotional affairs. DarkPrince Infidelity 54 29th September 2011 3:43 PM
Affairs aren't worth the pain or trouble weedsandposies Infidelity 90 12th June 2011 2:34 PM
long term affairs vs short term affairs jlola Infidelity 23 20th March 2011 12:42 PM
Bar chicks worth banging, not worth dating Tomcat33 Dating 388 18th June 2008 10:46 AM
Emotional Affairs more damage than Sexual Affairs? GregsBad The Other Man / Woman 63 1st June 2007 5:39 PM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 5:36 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.