thatgothicchick Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 So...suppose you met a guy, and this guy has a girlfriend...but he seems kind of flirty with you...he finds that you both have a lot in common, makes sure he gives you a big hug before you say goodbye, he calls you on the phone often...and then he asks you to go get coffee with him...okay, this is where it may become an incredibly stupid question...does that necessarily mean that he's attracted to you? Or is he just a very friendly guy? I have absolutely no clue how his current relationship is going...and I don't want to ruin it either. I would be very jealous if I had a boyfriend and this was happening. But the really bad thing is that I am extremely attracted to him, and I do catch myself wanting to be with him. But the last thing I want to be is a 'homewrecker'...and then I ask myself, 'is he just being really friendly'? Uuugh, my heads a mess! Helllppp!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
SoMovinOn Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 I don't view dating as a committed relationship, but, I know many don't share that view. I suppose it really depends on the couple and whatever they agree their relationship is. In that respect, I think dating should always be "shopping", and it should not be exclusive to one person. Specifically to your question, his asking you for coffee is the beginning. He is attracted to you, likes being with you, and this is his next step to moving your relationship further along. That may only mean something about how he feels about you, or it may be an indicator he's not happy with his current GF. If you're interested, go for coffee and find out. As long as you're going in with your eyes open (you know he has a GF) ... you can decide how *you* want to proceed from there. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 So...suppose you met a guy, and this guy has a girlfriend...but he seems kind of flirty with you...he finds that you both have a lot in common, makes sure he gives you a big hug before you say goodbye, he calls you on the phone often...and then he asks you to go get coffee with him...okay, this is where it may become an incredibly stupid question...does that necessarily mean that he's attracted to you? Or is he just a very friendly guy? I have absolutely no clue how his current relationship is going...and I don't want to ruin it either. I would be very jealous if I had a boyfriend and this was happening. But the really bad thing is that I am extremely attracted to him, and I do catch myself wanting to be with him. But the last thing I want to be is a 'homewrecker'...and then I ask myself, 'is he just being really friendly'? Uuugh, my heads a mess! Helllppp!!!! Just ask yourself this. Imagine him or some other guy who is your boyfriend doing this behind your back, flirting with another girl, and becoming too friendly, calling her and hugging her. I'm sure you would NOT be happy about that. Anyway, if you want this guy as a friend, ask to meet his girlfriend and tell him that it would be nice if ALL of you go for lunch one day. **edit to add, I see that you already wouldn't like it if he were you bf and did this behind your back..** Best thing to do is not open that door.. It's asking for trouble. Even if you like this guy, and I'm sure the flirting and attention makes you feel good, he has a girlfriend and isn't in a position to pursure you..Unless it's cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 I don't view dating as a committed relationship, but, I know many don't share that view. I suppose it really depends on the couple and whatever they agree their relationship is. In that respect, I think dating should always be "shopping", and it should not be exclusive to one person. Specifically to your question, his asking you for coffee is the beginning. He is attracted to you, likes being with you, and this is his next step to moving your relationship further along. That may only mean something about how he feels about you, or it may be an indicator he's not happy with his current GF. If you're interested, go for coffee and find out. As long as you're going in with your eyes open (you know he has a GF) ... you can decide how *you* want to proceed from there. I agree with you SMO:) OP- I think he's attracted to you, and no you wouldn't be a "homewrecker"...maybe they are not meant to be? What is your heart telling you? You say your attracted to him...I say go have coffee and find out what's going on in his head, although keep your feeings at bay until you know more. I priddy much think SMO said it all:) Link to post Share on other sites
irin Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 he has a girlfriend. tell him its inappropriate to go out, if he really is unhappy with his girlfriend dont be the reason to wreck his relationship. when its over you can go out with him. otherwise stay away from him and any other taken men. dont be a home wrecker. stay away. Link to post Share on other sites
cocorico Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 So...suppose you met a guy, and this guy has a girlfriend...but he seems kind of flirty with you...he finds that you both have a lot in common, makes sure he gives you a big hug before you say goodbye, he calls you on the phone often...and then he asks you to go get coffee with him...okay, this is where it may become an incredibly stupid question...does that necessarily mean that he's attracted to you? Or is he just a very friendly guy? I have absolutely no clue how his current relationship is going...and I don't want to ruin it either. I would be very jealous if I had a boyfriend and this was happening. But the really bad thing is that I am extremely attracted to him, and I do catch myself wanting to be with him. But the last thing I want to be is a 'homewrecker'...and then I ask myself, 'is he just being really friendly'? Uuugh, my heads a mess! Helllppp!!!! Why not ask him? Tell him you'd like to have coffee with him but feel uncomfortable knowing he has a GF so you'd like him to clarify what he has in mind. If it's "just friends" would you be comfortable with that? Or if you are only interested in him in a romantic way and not as a friend why not tell him that you'd love to do coffee with him, once he has dumped his GF? Link to post Share on other sites
wellwhynot Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 I like the post that says to ask. I'm very upfront in my communication with people. "I'd love to go for coffee with you, but I'm wondering, are you asking as friends or is this a date? If it's a date, I know you are dating someone, that's not exclusive then?" See what he says. I know a lot of people who date non-exclusively and a lot that are in exclusive relationships. It depends on the couple. Then you can decide from there. Good luck, and remember, it's only a cup of coffee unless you make it into more. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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