DarlingNicky Posted January 24, 2004 Share Posted January 24, 2004 I've been the other woman for 2 years now and in that time she was his girlfriend, then his fiance,and now his wife. I didn't know about her until 8 months into it. He was definitely not ready to get married.I feel that I could have stopped it but I felt like I shouldn't get involved.Now I'm kicking myself for not doing it.He is still contacting me and wants to hang out.(Yeah, I must be crazy because I still want to see him) There is more to the story but I don't want to reveal too much on here.My question is, why would a guy get married if he had to cheat all the time?? Are there many guys like this?It makes me TERRIFIED to ever even think about getting married. Link to post Share on other sites
Girlie Posted January 24, 2004 Share Posted January 24, 2004 Well, obviously, there are some men like this, but there are plenty who do not do these types of things, also. As for why this guy did it, well, there are probably lots of reasons, but the simplest explanation is....because he could. He found that he could have his cake and eat it, too and so he did. He can have the wife and everything that goes with it, and also have a little something on the side. And he wanted to, so he did. I know you probably already know this, but you really need to evacuate yourself from this situation completely. If this guy would enter into something sacred like marriage while seeing someone else, he is NOT the kind of person you should want to be with. The good news is that, like I said, there are plenty of men who would not pull this crap and there's no reason that you shouldn't be able to find one. Question: did you really not know about her until 8 months in? I've found that most people at least have some instinct that there's something very wrong in situations like these. If you felt that before you knew for sure, next time, go with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DarlingNicky Posted January 25, 2004 Author Share Posted January 25, 2004 I didn't know about her until well into it.I was so angry but I was already involved in the whole thing.(feelings and all) Link to post Share on other sites
Girlie Posted January 25, 2004 Share Posted January 25, 2004 I know....been there. Mine wasn't ever married to the girl, but he was seeing someone and didn't bother to tell me until after he had pursued and conquered me. I kind of wondered.....but didn't want to think about it because his chivalry was so overwhelming. Ugh. What's the old biblical saying....charm is decietful?? At any rate, there are some wonderful men out there. Even if this guy would leave the person who he's with and be with you, you have to ask yourself if you REALLY want that. A part of you probably does, because you have feelings for him. But if he did it to her, he'd more than likely do it to you. Neither of you ladies deserve that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DarlingNicky Posted January 29, 2004 Author Share Posted January 29, 2004 I've thought about what it would be like to be with him if she was out of the picture and frankly I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him.I'm sure he's cheated on her with other women too which really makes my stomach turn. Link to post Share on other sites
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