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Friends that became lovers, what do i do? Please reply.


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danthegoodman

Im new to this site, so heres my question:

 

 

I have a female friend that i have been friends with for over 20+ years. (keep in mind im barly 30 years old myself.) This is very hard for me to write about and express in detail. But here it goes in the simplest form:

 

So heres the situation: My friendship of 20+ years to this beautiful female has developed in a full on love affair.

 

She means the world to me. We have always been there for one other. Talked about past dating, past relationships, etc. I'm single, she's committed in a relationship of three years (not married, but living together), has a child also. She is unhappy, and wants something different. Me. Over time an emotional affair was developing, I didnt see it because of our friendship. And now I look at our friendship ,we always had that emotional bond. We are falling in love with each other. I want her, and she wants me. But shes in a bad relationship. Do I let her go until she decides on what she wants?

 

 

Believe me I dont want to ruin a 20+year old friendship that took a life time to develop.

 

 

(And i know maybe this should be in the Friends/lovers Forum, but its a one sided affair.

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Wow, that's a tough one...please clear up some confusion for me, first - you stated "I want her, and she wants me", and that it has developed into a full-blown love affair, but at the end you say that it's one-sided? :confused:

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danthegoodman

I feel its one-sided because I am single and she is not. . Whats keeping her still together with him is her child. Her parents say a child should always have a father when growing up. She says she feels stuck. Again I want to be there for her because of our long friendship together and we now talk everyday now. I ideas on what to do?

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You're asking for problems. Because she is having difficulties in her current relationship, she is vulnerable. It's not a good time to get into a relationship of any kind with her. Keep it friendship and let her deal with her own problems. When she leaves the guy and spends some time single, that will be the time to go for it.

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danthegoodman

Thanks Tony. Is very tough for us to keep it just friends now. We are super attracted to each other. I've never been in this situation and either has she. I'm thinking of just cutting off our friendship until she decides on what she wants, Im not sure if I can, but if its meant to be--she will come to me?

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