kismet Posted January 7, 2004 Share Posted January 7, 2004 Ladies and gentlemen, the moment we've (or at least I've) been waiting for... GF faxed me a copy of the paperwork from the court today. He is officially filed for divorce! He is coming to visit so we can celebrate. My god, I am elated, giddy, intoxicated with the reality of it, and a little bit frightened. Pocketranger, if you're reading this... I can so relate to your perplexing feelings of doubt as to whether or not you really want to be with this guy, whom you hoped and prayed would leave his wife so you could be together. Every once in a while, when we see each other, I feel annoyed with almost everything he does! I have found myself wondering, "whoa... could I really see myself with him forever?" But I have to remember that there are days that I am thoroughly annoyed with anyone and anything that crosses my path. As long as I adore him 98% of the time, I'm not going to blow the 2% out of proportion. But... I also think that subconsciously (or maybe even consciously), we factor in how much time we've spent waiting, how much heartache has gone into it, how much of ourselves we have invested, and we almost get to feeling like we just couldn't change our minds once they're actually available, even if it didn't feel right! Well, yes we could, and can change our minds, and I do worry about that sometimes. He is saying that he'd love me to move up there with him as soon as the first of March. Half of me can't wait, the other half is wondering if two months of more frequent visits, but still a long-distance relationship, is enough to make such a drastic move. What if I get there and realize that being with him full-time is a whole 'nother story, and perhaps one I don't care for as much as part time love! What would I tell him?! What I do know is that I wouldn't stay, even after all of this, if I knew I wouldn't be happy. So not worth it. My god, listen to me! Here he has come through for me; filed for divorce; moved out, everything he's promised me, and already I am fretting about the next obstacle; whether or not we'll make it as a "real couple." But I really can not wait to find out. To tell the truth, I would move in with him tomorrow, based on everything that the last two years has shown me. So... for everyone who has been following my story (and those who haven't!), here's to you; also to hope, faith, and (oh, gag me) true love. God knows what hope I had left would have shriveled right up had this not worked out! Of course this story is far from over-- virtually anything can happen from this point on, and I will continue to post updates as the stepping stones are, one by one, crossed. Just hope you don't hear from me in a year saying, I hate this prick and everyone who encouraged me that it could work!! No, no-- I'm thinking positive and hoping that I have learned enough in my previous relationships to know what it takes to keep a great relationship great. Thanks to all the positivity that I literally survived on during this past month of anxiety; I would not have handled all this nearly as well had I not come across this forum, and had it not been for the people who cared enough to offer a kind word, and much more. My fingers will remain crossed... you'll be hearing from me. Good luck with everyone in similar, or even dissimilar but equally challenging relationships/situations. As cliche as it sounds, I believe that the heart knows, even when we feel like we haven't got a clue, and though the heart may not shout the answer, there is usually a gut feeling that is crying to be acknowledged. My gut said that GF was being honest with me, and did have every intention of doing what he had to so that we could get on with our life together. And it is happening. Forgive my long-windedness. It's sheer exhiliration... anticipation! What might lie around the next corner? Until.......!! Link to post Share on other sites
silhouette Posted January 7, 2004 Share Posted January 7, 2004 Congratulations!! I wish you all the happiness in the world!! Link to post Share on other sites
cms Posted January 7, 2004 Share Posted January 7, 2004 Congratulations Kismet! Is that appropriate to sat in this situation? Who cares!!!! Sometimes our stories DO have happy beginnings! And that's where you are - the beginning of a loving relationship! Notice I didn't say "happy ending" ... that's because love stories don't have endings! Regardless of what the statisticians tell us (& all the nay-sayers), true love can and does last forever. If that weren't true, then what's "forever" for? Keep your heart open and keep talking to him and your relationship will continue to grow and strengthen. And thanks for infusing some hope into my life! Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted January 7, 2004 Share Posted January 7, 2004 hey, congrats to you! i know it's been a long hard journey for you. i am sad, though, too, so my condolences as well to his wife and to their marriage. not because of you, but just because any divorce is sort of sad. Link to post Share on other sites
ocean Posted January 8, 2004 Share Posted January 8, 2004 Wow! Congratulations Kismet! I have been following your story and you are a true inspiration. I'm so happy for you! Although the previous posters are right, any divorce is sad, it looks like true love does rule! I wish you the best and good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted January 8, 2004 Share Posted January 8, 2004 Sent you a card in email!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
VivianLee Posted January 8, 2004 Share Posted January 8, 2004 Good luck Kismet....one book closed and another book opened. I hope everyone is able to heal and be happy. Stop thinking those negative thoughts and realize what has happened. He truly loves you! Y'all may want to go ahead and get into some sort of couple's counseling before you move in together....get a good start on things!! Link to post Share on other sites
virgo2004 Posted January 8, 2004 Share Posted January 8, 2004 Congrats!! i am so happy for you. thanks for sharing you story and helping us realize that we are not alone and when to stay positive. this place is helpful in so many ways. i was waiting/hoping for this good news. enjoy!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author kismet Posted January 8, 2004 Author Share Posted January 8, 2004 Thank you, thank you, thank you, everyone! I still find myself pinching myself that it's finally happened-- or at least the first, and biggest step has been taken. I will be seeing him tomorrow and can barely wait. He'll also be meeting my mom! I do feel badly for those affected negatively; his (soon to be) ex, and mostly their 8 year old daughter. Yes, divorce is always a hard thing. But life is a hard thing. Without painful experiences we wouldn't really be living, and god knows I suffered my share of pain as well, knowing he was going home to her every night for two years. I really hope she is able to find someone else who will love and appreciate her, and make her realize why the divorce really was the best thing to do. There is hope, true love can conquer what can sometimes seem like inconquerable obstacles... to everyone who sent positive, uplifting, encouraging thoughts... God bless you. I wish I could send each and every one of you wedding invitations. JOKE! It's going to be a while before that is discussed (thought it has been already, just not in "let's make a plan" format). I'm going to need quite a bit of time and some serious persuading on his part if he wants me to be the next to exchange vows with him! Signing off as a significantly less jaded woman...! Link to post Share on other sites
spitfire Posted January 15, 2004 Share Posted January 15, 2004 Kismet, I am glad to hear that he came through for you. Does this mean that you are going to be faithful to him now? Does he know about all the other things you have been up to? Although I have been pulling for you all the way I don't understand how you could have put such demands on him with what you have been doing when he is not around. I don't know maybe I am weird. You think? Maybe if he knew about who you really are he would have never left his wife and child. Will he stay with you if he finds out about the other married man with 4 kids? Would he stay if he knew about you sleeping with your best friends boyfriend for an entire year? I wonder if he would stay if he knew about you and your "customer" from the club or the guy who helps you with your bills? Oh wait a minute! He was a customer too huh? Maybe he will understand but I don't know for sure. How can you really expect to have an honest relationship with the way that you have been carrying on? People who live in glass houses should not throw stones! Who are you to say anything about decisions other people are making? It is very sad that you tried to make someone else look bad so people would not see the things you were doing. There will come a day when you will know who your friends are and I am sure you will be sitting by yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kismet Posted January 17, 2004 Author Share Posted January 17, 2004 Spitfire-- I'm afraid you may have me confused with someone else? Though I'm not sure who or what you're referring to, I was intrigued by what you had to say. You seem to have been hurt by someone or something, which is a shame, and I hope that writing what you did, for whomever it was meant, helped you feel better. I do agree with the cliche about people in glass houses. I would not throw that proverbial stone at anyone, whether I lived in a glass house or a brick one. I may not agree with the actions of others, but it is far from my place to judge or inflict any type of rebuke... nor would I want to! Sounds cheesy, but that's God's job. Life is full of surprises, both good and bad. All we can know is what's happening in the moment, and what has happened in the past, and with any luck we will learn a thing or two along the way. I am thankful that even if I were to end up "sitting by myself," like you implied, I am happy enough with myself as a person that I would enjoy the company. Hope you are able to get through your anger. Only we can help ourselves. Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 whoa, spitfire, where did that come from? kismet was very kind about that; i would have told you to get back on your meds post haste. thanks, kismet, for a good example! Link to post Share on other sites
Skittles Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 I wish you and your love well Kismet. Hmmm..I bet lots of people aren't liking your success story ma'am, and it is understandable, divorce is unhappy and how your relationship was born probably won't win a peoples' choice award, but like you said, it's time for all parties to move on and make the best of their lives. And all the nasty nay-sayers who are thinking about posting shoot-downs, may want to look at the hurt and fury in their own lives, and work out their desire to launch ballistic missiles at others happiness by using a stair-master..or they can just step off. (I'm not as nice as jenny). Link to post Share on other sites
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