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I need advice...or a bullet to my head...either way I need this pain to stop...

 

A little back story...LD EA/PA with LLL for 1-1/2 yrs...3 ddays...last one 6 months ago (I think)...firm NC in place since...from either him nor I...except...

 

I absolutely cannot seem to get BS to leave me alone...as far as I know they are R...they went to MC a few times...not sure if they're still going...

 

I've NEVER contacted her...I've always been 100% honest with her when she's contacted to me...now every 3 weeks for the last 6 months...I get an email from her...for no other reason other than to b mean and hateful...I've asked her to stop...I told her 100's of times in no uncertain terms that I never plan on having anything to do with her H again...for any reason...

 

I don't understand why she can't get past this...why she thinks continuing this is good for her...I know he must be doing something right bc as far as I know he's still there...but what's he not doing for her that contact with me is needed to fill that gap?...there's another thread about MM telling BS that he loves the OW...mine did that in between 2nd & 3rd dday...was leaving her to b with me...but obviously that didn't happen...does that have something to do with it?...is the fact that his "actions" show he wants to be with her not enough?...

 

So I've thought about the RO thing in the past...but really all I had was a bunch of childish mean emails...and I didn't want to feed the drama...and didn't want the police to laugh at me...but today I get yet another email...only this time she ends it with a threat to send all my emails to my "new" employer if I don't stop...WTH?...stop what?!?!?...

 

Does anyone with experience or knowledge think that's really a threat enough for a RO? Do I have to wait until she actually does it? We live in different time zones, 5 states away, but I think she's been stalking me on the Internet and may know where I work since she mentioned "new"...anything's possible with her...

 

Now for my "except"...the last several times she's done this I've sent her email directly back to xMM and asked nicely and then meanly that he make her stop...I've gotten no response from him at all any time...tonight I sent it to him and immediately got..."haha [email protected]'ve had all his emails forwarded to me...you have no connection to him"...so now I know he's probably never seen any of my requests...uuugh...

 

Anyway...just sucks...makes me hurt and feel powerless all over again...

 

Any other BS out there might know why she continues to do this or what I can say to make her stop? How long before you didn't feel the need to contact the OW? If you did, and your WH knew, was he ok with it or did he ask u not to?

 

Any other xMM out there who R with your BS who have some insight? Did your BS act this way? If you knew about it, what reason would u have for "allowing" it to continue? Can't b good for the R right?

 

Anyway...just thought I'd post here for advice...hoping someone has something...since I can't email xMM and ream him a new one...

 

Oh...I can't delete my email account...and I know I slept with her H, I'm a POS homewrecker, and I deserve it...so now that we got that out of the way...

 

Thanks!

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Isn't there a way to flag her email as spam or something so that it goes to your junk mail and not your inbox, so that you never see it? Or block her emails? Most servers have this and that would solve the problem.

 

If you're not responding to her then I think overtime things will stop. I don't know what she gets out of this....but what is certain is that it seems you've always responded in some way; whether it has been to tell her to stop or forwarding the messages to the MM or speaking to her truthfully when she contacts you. I don't think responding works...it fuels the situation and causes it to persist. If you flag her emails as spam so it automatically goes to junk mail or delete them without reading or responding (if somehow you cannot block her) then she will eventually get bored...if you continue to respond...she'll continue to antagonize you. If she continues emailing you for the next 10 years but you don't respond and it goes to your junk mail...then the only person's life it is affecting is hers. If you do continue to respond or read them though, then both of you will be in this mess together. If she won't be the bigger person...then you have to for your own sake and ignore her and go in NC with her too. NC in this case (as with the MM as well) is not reading or responding to her messages...whether it is to tell her to stop or to shove it or to apologize. Nada! Some think they are in NC because they do not initiate contact, but don't realize that their response is still contact and still fueling the situation Don't read the emails, send them to junk, trash, delete.

Edited by MissBee
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I don't understand why she can't get past this...

 

Here's why she can't"

 

A little back story...LD EA/PA with LLL for 1-1/2 yrs...3 ddays...

 

Three D-days. She can't get past it as you re-engaged in the A TWICE after being caught - not to mention beginning an A to begin with. You have ZERO credibility with her. Why should she believe you now?

 

why she thinks continuing this is good for her...I know he must be doing something right bc as far as I know he's still there...but what's he not doing for her that contact with me is needed to fill that gap?...there's another thread about MM telling BS that he loves the OW...mine did that in between 2nd & 3rd dday...was leaving her to b with me...but obviously that didn't happen...does that have something to do with it?...is the fact that his "actions" show he wants to be with her not enough?...

 

Doesn't matter why she chooses this path.

Ignore this train of thought as its only crazy making.

 

So I've thought about the RO thing in the past...but really all I had was a bunch of childish mean emails...and I didn't want to feed the drama...and didn't want the police to laugh at me...but today I get yet another email...only this time she ends it with a threat to send all my emails to my "new" employer if I don't stop...WTH?...stop what?!?!?...

 

Stop what? I'll tell you what...interfering in her M (as she sees it). You can try and scream from the highest mountain with the loudest lungs that its over but 3 D-days renders you mute to her. She doesn't believe or trust you, nor should she (from her view).

 

Does anyone with experience or knowledge think that's really a threat enough for a RO? Do I have to wait until she actually does it? We live in different time zones, 5 states away, but I think she's been stalking me on the Internet and may know where I work since she mentioned "new"...anything's possible with her...

 

You can bring this to your police's internet crimes division. Probably you should. Yes, you will likely get "Are you serious" faces in response. Let's face it, she hasn't, to me, threatened you. I think you realize this. However, you DO want a paper trail. You DO want your local PD to contact HER local PD. Nothing to make it real for her than a pair of detectives questioning her. You also benefit from the recent spate of cyber-bullying which is the current "hot topic"...you may find a sympathetic ear in the PD or DA's office. Failing this, hire a lawyer and have him/her send a nasty letter to her.

 

Now for my "except"...the last several times she's done this I've sent her email directly back to xMM and asked nicely and then meanly that he make her stop...I've gotten no response from him at all any time...tonight I sent it to him and immediately got..."haha [email protected]'ve had all his emails forwarded to me...you have no connection to him"...so now I know he's probably never seen any of my requests...uuugh...

 

Well, so much for NC huh.

Maybe you should stop having anything to do with him. You say you do then you write about forwarding all the emails to her. How do you think SHE interprets that?

 

Anyway...just sucks...makes me hurt and feel powerless all over again...

 

Then truly go NC. Change your email, phone etc and move on. OR, fight back. Your life, you choose.

 

Any other BS out there might know why she continues to do this or what I can say to make her stop? How long before you didn't feel the need to contact the OW? If you did, and your WH knew, was he ok with it or did he ask u not to?

 

In my case, my xWW begged me not to -which of course meant I HAD to :)

So I did. Briefly. I lost interest in him about 6-9 months after D-day...he faded as I recovered and grew and learned and moved on (and D).

 

Oh...I can't delete my email account...and I know I slept with her H, I'm a POS homewrecker, and I deserve it...so now that we got that out of the way...

 

Sure you can delete your email...you have chosen not to. And that's ok. It also means you choose to allow the BS an avenue into your life. Which she is taking full advantage of.

 

1) You can...delete all means of contact they have (email, change numbers, etc). The downside to changing all that is of course the inconvenience of having to do so. This would clearly solve the problem as the avenues for them to contact you would be closed to them. You have already decided to not do this - at the cost of allowing them the ability to re-enter your life at THEIR choosing.

 

2) You can truly go NC. And NEVER EVER reply to them. This does mean you may read emails from them (or her) to you. It means you don't get to reply. The plan here is to "go dark" and hope she grows weary of it. MAybe she will. Maybe not. That's the downside...you give HER the power.

 

3) Go to the authorities. This still allows them/her to contact you as they see fit but it begins a paper trail for possible/eventual legal action. You may even spur someone to help you. Alternatively, this may pi$$ her off more and exacerbate her behavior. Let's be real, cyber crime units are not well-funded, you are the OW and she hasn't really threatened you. I don't like your chances of action here but wth, nothing to lose really.

 

Its your life and your choice but I'd do #1. Its an ACTION and YOU are regaining control of YOUR life. Numbers 2 and 3 - too passive and hands control to others.

 

My .02 if its worth even that.

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Isn't there a way to flag her email as spam or something so that it goes to your junk mail and not your inbox, so that you never see it? Or block her emails? Most servers have this and that would solve the problem.

 

 

 

This is exactly what I would suggest you do.

 

Set your email filters so that her emails never hit your inbox.

 

You never have to even see them.

 

And even if the emails DO hit your inbox you don't have to read them. The delete button works wonders.

 

 

I will never understand why an OW would contact the MM to get the MM to "control" his BW after dday. I can't think any other time when a husband (one who is not leaving) would have less control/influence over his wife's actions than after she has discovered he is having an affair.

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I don't talk about it very often here (in fact, this may be the first time, can't recall), but I have the opposite problem.... the xOW is still obsessed with me and continues to email some really awful crap. Their affair lasted a whopping six weeks and it's been long over for (uhhh, have to think) 2-1/2 years!

 

It got to the point where we feared she would make contact with our teenagers, so we both sat them down and told them what had happened, but that it's in the past and we're moving on. They actually respected that and knew something had been going on and were relieved it was resolved. More to that, but don't want to t/j.

 

I've often wondered if it was because it was a LLL (she had been looking for him for a loooong time), or what, but it has me perplexed as well. This is a woman who is successful by societies' standards, and never came across as the type to do this in our one time cordial exchange.

 

I've had to redirect all her mail to my spam filter that I have set for deletion weekly. OP, I highly suggest you not forward anything to her husband because that right there just fuels the fire. I understand your reason for doing it, but this is between you and her now. If she were the one on the board telling us what she was doing, I would tell her to STOP immediately, so don't think I'm just putting this on you. All I know is that it can take a BS a looong time to fully recover, and I can guarantee the WH in this case is reaping what he has sown.

 

I've had to work very hard to forgive the xOW in my situation, and I had to really look at those emails as coming from a place of extraordinary pain. Yes, it's pain she brought on herself, but pain nonetheless. Do your best to take the steps to ignore her, and if you really feel threatened (physically and professionally), then there are legal ways to handle this. Just make sure that it won't end up back-firing on you. I'm sure if you were to give the full story (not leave anything out) to the police, they could at least tell you what options you have.

 

Good luck! :)

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Assuming you really can't change your email address (but we know you could), then just don't read any email from her or him. Don't reply to them, ever. Don't contact either of them on your own, ever. You are a grown up correct? You have free will? Then just decide to ignore them, and they will eventually go away.

 

If you don't do that then you are choosing to stay involved.

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Another tangent - he may have an OOW. You are taking the flak and all of her attention. She mentions "stop what you are doing", when you claim you are doing nothing. It wouldn't be unheard of for her to ask him why he has so many texts, and he says that they are from you and he deletes them unread. Or who was the blocked call on his incoming call list, and he says he doesn't know but it must be you.

 

Bottom line, there is ZERO reason why you can't change your email address. People do it all the time. You send out an email to your contact list and tell them you have a new address. You print new business cards with your new address. You just DO it.

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She continues to do this because she suspects that the two of you are still engaged in some communication/affair is still ongoing.

 

After 3 d-days, this is hardly surprising. Her trust in him is shattered, and she has NO reason to ever trust you.

 

The next time she sends you anything...tell her point blank, up front, but without sarcasm or anger that there has been NO communication between the two of you, it's been over since XXX, and that you're done accepting her angry emails/etc... Make it clear, but do it without attacking her in any fashion.

 

THEN change your email address so that she can't bother you anymore.

 

The bottom line is that her world has been turned on it's ear...it's going to take her a long time to get over this.

 

You appear to have done all you could to help, but at some point she does need to end her contact with you.

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I don't talk about it very often here (in fact, this may be the first time, can't recall), but I have the opposite problem.... the xOW is still obsessed with me and continues to email some really awful crap. Their affair lasted a whopping six weeks and it's been long over for (uhhh, have to think) 2-1/2 years!

 

It got to the point where we feared she would make contact with our teenagers, so we both sat them down and told them what had happened, but that it's in the past and we're moving on. They actually respected that and knew something had been going on and were relieved it was resolved. More to that, but don't want to t/j.

 

I've often wondered if it was because it was a LLL (she had been looking for him for a loooong time), or what, but it has me perplexed as well. This is a woman who is successful by societies' standards, and never came across as the type to do this in our one time cordial exchange.

 

I've had to redirect all her mail to my spam filter that I have set for deletion weekly. OP, I highly suggest you not forward anything to her husband because that right there just fuels the fire. I understand your reason for doing it, but this is between you and her now. If she were the one on the board telling us what she was doing, I would tell her to STOP immediately, so don't think I'm just putting this on you. All I know is that it can take a BS a looong time to fully recover, and I can guarantee the WH in this case is reaping what he has sown.

 

I've had to work very hard to forgive the xOW in my situation, and I had to really look at those emails as coming from a place of extraordinary pain. Yes, it's pain she brought on herself, but pain nonetheless. Do your best to take the steps to ignore her, and if you really feel threatened (physically and professionally), then there are legal ways to handle this. Just make sure that it won't end up back-firing on you. I'm sure if you were to give the full story (not leave anything out) to the police, they could at least tell you what options you have.

 

Good luck! :)

 

I agree with the bolded.

 

Email harassment seems to be one of the easier ones to combat...as like you've done, if you set it as spam and it goes to a spam folder and gets deleted, then you NEVER have to see it and thus the harassment has been stopped in its tracks. It is a lot harder to deal with phone calls or in person threats/harassment....which don't seem to be the case. So I don't think the police need to be involved. If you simply set it as spam then the problem is virtually solved. If she upgrades to calling or actually contacts people you know or your employer then you have more grounds for police action but someone sending you annoying emails that you read....seems less serious and seems like something you can handle on your own before getting the law involved. I think you should try that first.

Edited by MissBee
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The title of this thread is incorrect. This isn't a BS problem, this is a self control problem.

You can't control her actions. You can control yours.

 

If you don't have enough self control to either delete the emails or have them sent to spam, maybe you should look into that.

I'm sure the emails sting because there is a bit of truth to them.

So either read them and face the music, or set up a rule to send the emails to trash.

 

But stop blaming the BS for your inability to cope.

 

 

I have to agree jthorne.

 

I do get how annoying it is for someone to email you all the time saying all this stuff you're not trying to hear....BUT I was like, this is small time stuff that is easily remedied and I don't see the big issue as the solutions are many and are obvious :o I know it can be tempting to see that email pop up and read it, but as you've said, if you really can't change your email (which is odd) then modern technology has SO MANY ways that you can avoid seeing emails you don't want to see, much less read! So it does seem like there is some level of not admitting the truth (i.e. subconsciously liking that the situation persists, liking the drama, not actually wanting to be totally forgotten by the MM, thinking this is still better than if they both ignored you and moved on etc) going on...why the simple solutions don't seem to be taken into consideration and it is made into a bigger deal than it is.

 

Put it this way....I am not trying to be mean to you 18YearsTooLate....I'm just saying: it's an email. It's 2011. If someone doesn't want to read or see an email- they won't read or see it, as so many measures exist for that to be accomplished. Anyone who is familiar with the internet or email knows this. If they do want to read or see it though (for conscious or subconscious reasons), then it is likely that these measures will be ignored or they will seem to have insurmountable obstacles preventing them from clicking a few options that would stop it and they will just continue complaining about it being a "problem".

Edited by MissBee
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18Y2L,

I'm not sure why you're so reluctant to pursue a RO.

 

You have ample evidence - hopefully you've kept all the emails and VMs she has left you. I also hope you started keeping a log book detailing the date, time and form of contact, like I had suggested last time.

 

The issue isn't "threat" although that would bump things up a notch. The issue is HARASSMENT - and believe me, you can pursue this as harassment charge if you wanted to.

 

I wouldn't put up with this for a single second. Especially if you have ended things and are trying to move on with your life.

 

I did have a fleeting thought though - are you afraid to file a RO against the W because it might permanently end things with xMM? Yeah, I know you said you're in NC but those things are never a sure deal.

 

OR

 

You can pick up the phone and call xMM. Enlist his help in reining in the W. See what he can do. Sure - you'll be breaking NC and it might start things up again. But in my book, I would feel like she drove me to it with all her ridiculous antics, when I have made good effort in keeping NC.

 

One additional side note: DO NOT engage her. Let her stew.

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18Y2L,

I'm not sure why you're so reluctant to pursue a RO.

 

You have ample evidence - hopefully you've kept all the emails and VMs she has left you. I also hope you started keeping a log book detailing the date, time and form of contact, like I had suggested last time.

 

The issue isn't "threat" although that would bump things up a notch. The issue is HARASSMENT - and believe me, you can pursue this as harassment charge if you wanted to.

 

I wouldn't put up with this for a single second. Especially if you have ended things and are trying to move on with your life.

 

I did have a fleeting thought though - are you afraid to file a RO against the W because it might permanently end things with xMM? Yeah, I know you said you're in NC but those things are never a sure deal.

 

OR

 

You can pick up the phone and call xMM. Enlist his help in reining in the W. See what he can do. Sure - you'll be breaking NC and it might start things up again. But in my book, I would feel like she drove me to it with all her ridiculous antics, when I have made good effort in keeping NC.

 

One additional side note: DO NOT engage her. Let her stew.

 

 

 

OR

 

You can just set your email filters so that you don't see the emails anymore. You could just disengage....

 

without spending anymore energy or emotion on this situation

 

without getting hyper competitive with the wife

 

without deliberately turning the knife in on a woman whose life has already been turned upside down by the actions of others

 

without losing your own humanity and compassion in the process

 

AND all the while..

 

Protecting yourself from further hurt.

 

 

Your choice.

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Each of you...yourself and his wife...are freaking STILL competing over this POS. Stop Participating.

 

There a million possible reasons why she is still emailing you.

There are a million possible reasons why you remained in contact with her husband thru 3 ddays and put up with him.

 

Who knows?

 

Neither of you has the answer for the other.

Neither of you needs to come to terms with each other.

 

Stop particapting and she will too.

 

And seriously, they are just emails. Deltete them. Even if she forwards them - it is her that will look like the nutjob.

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When you stop responding to any contact from either one of them - that is when it will go away.

 

You have done NC. When you do - things will change!

 

If you ignore someone long enough... They do go away.

 

Stop engaging in any form of communication with either one of them!

 

You can only control what YOU do - in this case doing nothing is actually something!

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I don’t see a problem. I really don’t. 3 D-days. Why would she believe you! I think her harassing you seems fair. You’ve harassed her life 3 times after you said you would stop. Now you’ve got her sitting on a couch talking about relationship issues for an hour with a man she can’t stand. Time spent talking when she could be shopping. I’d be mad at you too.

 

I always say there is a blessing in disguise for everything. Be happy she didn’t drive up to your house with 7 of her friends and beat you to a pulp. I’m serious. Always spin the negative and find the positive. It helps to look at things from another perspective.

 

She’s emailing you… so what. It’s an easy fix. It’s called the delete button or close email account. You can’t be annoyed by the mess you helped to create. It’s like when you’re a kid and everyone makes a mess you have to help clean up, you can’t make a run for it. Think of it the same way.

 

So… I say tough it out. Stop contacting the husband to inform him she’s harassing you and handle your business. Like you said he’s not even getting the emails anyway. Words only have meaning if you give them meaning. If anything you should be feeling sorry for her. Not mad at her. Think about it, she’s so busy being mad at you she’s not focused on her marriage. You helped to create that. She’s so focused on being mad at you that she isn’t focused on her husband that could be sneaking another b*tch through the window right now as we speak. It’s sad but sometimes you have to empathize. She’s stuck with this fool and you’re not, empathize.

 

Hope this helps.

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OP, you need to step back and see the big picture.

 

This woman is lashing out at you and harassing you as her only means to feel in control of her life.

Look at what she's done, she took back an man that not once, not twice, but thrice cheated on her and betrayed her - HIM, she has no problem taking **** from, but YOU are where she can assert what little power she has.

 

Don't be upset, because as you said it, you did this to yourself and you interfered with her life.

 

But see the pain and misdirected lashing out as just that - don't respond to her, don't motivate her to write you any more, don't forward the emails to the H that's so cowardly he wouldn't do anything anyways - just don't engage!!

 

See her pain, and as annoying and frustrating as it is - see it for what it is, and filter her emails to go to the spam folder or the trash folder and end it then and there.

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weedsandposies

18years2late- finally you started your own thread!

 

Sounds like BS is trying to put the fear of God in you. She doesn't trust you'll stay away from her H.

 

She needs to let go. Maybe stop responding to her. I know the urge is there to but once you stop indulging her maybe she'll go away. It almost sounds like she trusts you more than her H in a sick kind of way. Also, what is exMM telling his BS about you? Maybe he's lying to her about you contacting him (like what happened to me).

 

How does she know where you work?

 

Keep all communication from both of them. It sounds to me like she' harrassing you. Have you contacted a lawyer about filing an RO? Start by requesting firmly that she (and he?) stop contacting you, cc exMM.

 

Sounds like she'sobsessed with you!

 

P.S. I don't agree with blocking her emails because although she doesn't know this you are still married. And you need to know what she's thinking/trying to take any pre-emptive strikes against her.

Edited by weedsandposies
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P.S. I don't agree with blocking her emails because although she doesn't know this you are still married. And you need to know what she's thinking/trying to take any pre-emptive strikes against her.

 

 

See.. look at yah.. smh. You need a hug.

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18Y2L,

I'm not sure why you're so reluctant to pursue a RO.

 

You have ample evidence - hopefully you've kept all the emails and VMs she has left you. I also hope you started keeping a log book detailing the date, time and form of contact, like I had suggested last time.

 

The issue isn't "threat" although that would bump things up a notch. The issue is HARASSMENT - and believe me, you can pursue this as harassment charge if you wanted to.

 

I wouldn't put up with this for a single second. Especially if you have ended things and are trying to move on with your life.

 

I did have a fleeting thought though - are you afraid to file a RO against the W because it might permanently end things with xMM? Yeah, I know you said you're in NC but those things are never a sure deal.

 

OR

 

You can pick up the phone and call xMM. Enlist his help in reining in the W. See what he can do. Sure - you'll be breaking NC and it might start things up again. But in my book, I would feel like she drove me to it with all her ridiculous antics, when I have made good effort in keeping NC.

 

One additional side note: DO NOT engage her. Let her stew.

 

Hold up...the BW is the victim in this and you're suggesting causing her additional pain by getting a restraining order just because she's venting her hurt and anger on someone who deserves it? How nice. HARRASSMENT? Really? Give me a break...a few emails can be easily ignored. Don't you think the OP having an affair with someone's husband is a worse offense than sending a few angry emails???

 

OP, please don't get an RO unless you feel there is a possibility for violence. Keep all emails in case you need them for future reference, but don't read them. Have them directly sent to a folder and just don't look at them. Also, do NOT contact this woman's husband as suggested above...that is just plain bad advice. After 3 d-days, this poor woman is already in a place where she doesn't trust you saying there has been no contact, so picking up the phone and calling him is just going to make things worse.

 

Protect yourself, sure, but a RO is just over the top (assuming no threat of physical violence) and will cause additional harm to a woman that you have helped cause more damage to than you can possibly know.

Edited by Angelina527
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You should not be answering her emails in any way shape or form! Send to junk and delete without reading. She keeps sending them because she knows you wll respond and take on her anger an frustraton for the day. That is exactly what you are doing...you are taking on her stuff by reading and responding to her emails. Remember the movie "He's Just not that Into You"? The bartender kpt telling the one women that she was addicted to the drama and that is what motivated her own bad behavior. Think of the reading and responding as bad behavior! Bad behavior that causes drama! The upset feelings it causes for you is drama! KWIM?

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Save every bit of correspondence and call the cops. A cop(s) will come out and take a report, then a detective will contact you. Please do this asap as you donot really know what her mental state is.

 

Has she threatened you?

 

Please donot play with this or think it will go away as it has not thus far. My suggestion would be NOT to contact either of them for any reason.

 

Please take care (((((((((hugs)))))))) and keep us updated.

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Hold up...the BW is the victim in this and you're suggesting causing her additional pain by getting a restraining order just because she's venting her hurt and anger on someone who deserves it? How nice. HARRASSMENT? Really? Give me a break...a few emails can be easily ignored. Don't you think the OP having an affair with someone's husband is a worse offense than sending a few angry emails???

 

OP, please don't get an RO unless you feel there is a possibility for violence. Keep all emails in case you need them for future reference, but don't read them. Have them directly sent to a folder and just don't look at them. Also, do NOT contact this woman's husband as suggested above...that is just plain bad advice. After 3 d-days, this poor woman is already in a place where she doesn't trust you saying there has been no contact, so picking up the phone and calling him is just going to make things worse.

 

Protect yourself, sure, but a RO is just over the top (assuming no threat of physical violence) and will cause additional harm to a woman that you have helped cause more damage to than you can possibly know.

 

Victim?????? Nope, BW sounds more like a perpetrator.

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Victim?????? Nope, BW sounds more like a perpetrator.

 

 

In other cultures, the crime of adultery is punishable by death. Here, the OP is only getting bombarded by emails that she could choose not to read and delete.

 

I think the OP should just delete the messages and stop trying to report the W to her H (as if he could control her actions any more than she could have stopped his affair).

 

Someone has to start acting like the grown up. Since the OP asked for help, she should be the grown up. Grown ups know they can ignore some things. Email is one of them.

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Isn't there a way to flag her email as spam or something so that it goes to your junk mail and not your inbox, so that you never see it? Or block her emails? Most servers have this and that would solve the problem. ... Don't read the emails, send them to junk, trash, delete.

 

This is the exact advice I was going to give you. Block her and you'll never see her emails. If she get's zero response (including you forwarding her emails to MM's email address), she'll eventually quit.

 

If you're not sure how to do this, let me know what you're using for email and I can probably give you detailed instructions.

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Hold up...the BW is the victim in this and you're suggesting causing her additional pain by getting a restraining order just because she's venting her hurt and anger on someone who deserves it? How nice. HARRASSMENT? Really?

 

Really. Not sure what country you live in, but in the US, it is not legal to respond to someone in an illegal manner just because they "deserve it".

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