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update: He Left!


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Alrighty, this is just to give a quick update. A few weeks ago, I started a thread about my MM discussing & agreeing to a divorce with wife. This was 15 months after we met. Well, suddenly he confessed to the affair, and within 4 days they were recommitting to their marriage, had to do it for the kids, blah, blah, blah. Needless to say I was completely shattered.

 

We had a massively, unhappy phone call on Aug 29 - 3 hours of my tears, my yelling and busting his chops bigtime, and his apologizing. The next week was torture for me, I was in complete psychic pain and agony. So, I called him on Sep 6 and said I needed some clarification as to what happened, how could he walk away so easy, ... He just kept saying he needed to "try again" for the kids. I, of course, was in complete tears but not busting his chops much this time. He had to go, and said he would call me the next night.

 

Sep 7 - I am sitting having breakfast, he calls, says he went home, spoke to wife, and he's moving out this weekend. I was stunned. He sounded all jacked up, breathless. I told him I was having an out of body experience.

 

We just spoke last night - he did indeed leave, moved quickly to a friend's place for the time being. They did meet with a counselor to figure out how to break it to the kids, 10 & 14 years. Well, lo and behold, the kids DID NOT FREAK OUT. They were pretty calm. The wife, although pissed about the affair, told him she does not hate him. They already scheduled "his days" with the kids. So, he spent all day with them yesterday and all went very well. He believes it may be the beginning of a better relationship with his son. Younger daughter is fine.

 

He sounded so happy, relieved, excited. He just kept saying "can you believe I moved out" and "I'm so sorry for all I have put you through". He said his giant burden has been lifted. Told me he's never had a relationship with any woman as he does with me. He's sounding very excited and in fact, a little crazy.

 

I know this is just the beginning of another big adjustment, so I am not being blind, but it does all sound like it is progressing very well. I, also, feel as though a burden of emotional pain is lifting for me. We shall see.

 

I always felt that we did attract each other into our lives. There have been spiritual signs that we both agree are unbelievable. I have been patient, not my nature, but was getting right to the end of that program, that's why I was just bitching at him this summer, telling him, "words speak louder than actions". He finally found his courage. He said he was just imagining some big freak out from the kids and was repressing his feelings for me.

 

So, I know most affairs don't "turn out", but wanted to share my story. This is not to give false hope but to share my story and that you if you are in a sad state such as I, you need to make your wishes know, bust their chops, and be prepared for the worst. I've read that the longer you stay willingly, you make it easier for them to remain married. I've read that if they don't make a move to end the marriage within a year, they most likely will not leave. I did a lot of research to fully understand all the dynamics of an affair. So, here we are, a new day begins.

 

We shall see, but now, for the first time, I know his love for me is real, and it always has been. Sending peace to everybody out there, it ain't easy, I know.

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Glad he got some backbone and left. Now the wife has a chance at real happiness. And not all children don't fall apart. Everything will sting for them for a while but I am glad they have a chance to be with a happy mother.

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Hey Sad puppy.

 

you should change your name to happy puppy now ;)

 

I'm really happy for you.

No more lies, no more betrayal, no more waiting and wondering.

 

I'm really glad that things with his wife are ok, and that the kids are fine, and that your man got the courage to leave.

 

Good luck on this new exciting chapter of your life :)

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Sad Puppy...

 

I am so happy for you. :bunny: I hope everything works out. Keep us all updated!!!

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Thank you for posting and I'm so happy for everyone.

 

This is proof that MM who love their OW, and want to be with them, indeed leave.

 

And proof that life goes on. Divorces happen all the time. Dads don't "lose" their kids. Most BW's don't go bat s**t crazy.

 

This is good news for all involved. I wish you much happiness.

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This still isn't going to be easy as pie, the kids probably saw this coming and are relieved in some sense, but it still is going to be a hard transition for that family. Just hope that you are patient and allow the kids to get used to change and not try to blend into their lives quickly..

 

HN, yes, when one truly wants out of their marriage and it's over in every way, people DO divorce. Seems this guy had already detached and was ready, same goes for his wife.

 

I still say, shield your heart a bit and allow him the time and space to do what he needs to do during the divorce process.

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Sounds like my situation... Exit affair. For me it had nothing to do with my xMW. I was done with my marriage and divorced.

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I'm happy for you SadPuppy & I hope you & MM [soon not be MM!] will be happy together. :-) I agree it's a time of crazy emotions & especially b/c he's acting hyper & crazy, it's best to shiled your heart, but you seem to be going into this with eyes wide open which is good. My xMM acted crazy & hyper like that too. I think it could either be shock at having made such a big life change . . . kind of like the rush of excitement you get when you jump off a cliff or ride a rollercoaster . . . but to me it means that at least this initial decision is for real & now when the dust settles & everything falls into place you'll see if he'll be able to carry through. In your case it sounds promising since your MM was honest with his wife [a HUGE key factor, in my opinion], & had already tried to work things out & done the back-&-forth . . . he must know that for himself & everyone else involved, it's time to sh#t or get off the pot.

 

So good luck & best wishes to both of you, & his kids & STBXW. I wish everyone the best & applaud his complete honesty . . . that is probably why his wife is being so cooperative; if it's an exit affair & she knows he's been unhappy & is in love with you, her only choice [& maybe she hasn't been very happy either & is rather relieved in a way] is to work with him towards an amicable dissolution . . . knowing that she at least has knowledge of the situation & the full truth of what's going on. Good for him & good luck.

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Alrighty, this is just to give a quick update. A few weeks ago, I started a thread about my MM discussing & agreeing to a divorce with wife. This was 15 months after we met. Well, suddenly he confessed to the affair, and within 4 days they were recommitting to their marriage, had to do it for the kids, blah, blah, blah. Needless to say I was completely shattered.

 

We had a massively, unhappy phone call on Aug 29 - 3 hours of my tears, my yelling and busting his chops bigtime, and his apologizing. The next week was torture for me, I was in complete psychic pain and agony. So, I called him on Sep 6 and said I needed some clarification as to what happened, how could he walk away so easy, ... He just kept saying he needed to "try again" for the kids. I, of course, was in complete tears but not busting his chops much this time. He had to go, and said he would call me the next night.

 

Sep 7 - I am sitting having breakfast, he calls, says he went home, spoke to wife, and he's moving out this weekend. I was stunned. He sounded all jacked up, breathless. I told him I was having an out of body experience.

 

We just spoke last night - he did indeed leave, moved quickly to a friend's place for the time being. They did meet with a counselor to figure out how to break it to the kids, 10 & 14 years. Well, lo and behold, the kids DID NOT FREAK OUT. They were pretty calm. The wife, although pissed about the affair, told him she does not hate him. They already scheduled "his days" with the kids. So, he spent all day with them yesterday and all went very well. He believes it may be the beginning of a better relationship with his son. Younger daughter is fine.

 

He sounded so happy, relieved, excited. He just kept saying "can you believe I moved out" and "I'm so sorry for all I have put you through". He said his giant burden has been lifted. Told me he's never had a relationship with any woman as he does with me. He's sounding very excited and in fact, a little crazy.

 

I know this is just the beginning of another big adjustment, so I am not being blind, but it does all sound like it is progressing very well. I, also, feel as though a burden of emotional pain is lifting for me. We shall see.

 

I always felt that we did attract each other into our lives. There have been spiritual signs that we both agree are unbelievable. I have been patient, not my nature, but was getting right to the end of that program, that's why I was just bitching at him this summer, telling him, "words speak louder than actions". He finally found his courage. He said he was just imagining some big freak out from the kids and was repressing his feelings for me.

 

So, I know most affairs don't "turn out", but wanted to share my story. This is not to give false hope but to share my story and that you if you are in a sad state such as I, you need to make your wishes know, bust their chops, and be prepared for the worst. I've read that the longer you stay willingly, you make it easier for them to remain married. I've read that if they don't make a move to end the marriage within a year, they most likely will not leave. I did a lot of research to fully understand all the dynamics of an affair. So, here we are, a new day begins.

 

We shall see, but now, for the first time, I know his love for me is real, and it always has been. Sending peace to everybody out there, it ain't easy, I know.

 

Dude he sounds like he is in the 1st few days of a trial separation and he aint got his own place yet, i think u shud hang back, see how it all plays out, its all real new 4 him rite now.

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Dude he sounds like he is in the 1st few days of a trial separation and he aint got his own place yet, i think u shud hang back, see how it all plays out, its all real new 4 him rite now.
I hope he also does some soulsearching or therapy to discover why he found cheating an acceptible option. If he's not willing to do that, the OW is basically stuck with the same liar the BS was.
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Going through a separation/divorce with a MM is never easy, whether you chose to do that with no/light/full contact, living together/apart, ... and it is risky if you want to end up in a committed R. However, like others, I think it is a big plus that he told his W about the A. As well as displaying some value for honesty, it shows a level of respect for his W (even after the love is gone) and for his family, as he will need to continue to share parenting duties. It also shows the ability to take some responsibility for his actions and decisions. And for you, it means your R can be out in the open to whatever extent or on whatever timing allows a respectful and healthy environment for his children.

 

So that all sounds promising and I wish you the best, sad puppy.

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Sep 7 - I am sitting having breakfast, he calls, says he went home, spoke to wife, and he's moving out this weekend. I was stunned. He sounded all jacked up, breathless. I told him I was having an out of body experience.

 

We just spoke last night - he did indeed leave, moved quickly to a friend's place for the time being. They did meet with a counselor to figure out how to break it to the kids, 10 & 14 years. Well, lo and behold, the kids DID NOT FREAK OUT. They were pretty calm.

I don't want to rain on your parade, but just be realistic here. Depending on the nature of their family dynamic, they may be OK in the short term, but they will likely be dealing with and adjusting to repercussions for quite a while. When we told our kids, my son was pretty much like, "OK, I'm gonna go out and play now...", but he has had the harder time bringing his issues to the surface, and thus the harder time in dealing with them.

 

I do believe kids can get through it in good health (and I'm glad that it sounds like your MM and his wlfe are starting out on the right foot, working out cooperative plans right from the start) but I believe that it doesn't "just happen", but that kids need caring and intentional support through the loss of their family, as they know it.

 

The wife, although pissed about the affair, told him she does not hate him.

Kinda makes me wonder whether he didn't have the guts to "leave" so he laid out the affair, and she made the choice for him.

 

Good luck for a safe and healthy outcome for all involved.

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Going through a separation/divorce with a MM is never easy, whether you chose to do that with no/light/full contact, living together/apart, ... and it is risky if you want to end up in a committed R. However, like others, I think it is a big plus that he told his W about the A. As well as displaying some value for honesty, it shows a level of respect for his W (even after the love is gone) and for his family, as he will need to continue to share parenting duties. It also shows the ability to take some responsibility for his actions and decisions. And for you, it means your R can be out in the open to whatever extent or on whatever timing allows a respectful and healthy environment for his children.

 

So that all sounds promising and I wish you the best, sad puppy.

 

 

I totally agree with you WIL....

 

Sadpup... I am sure you know this but wanted to speak to it...the part I bolded. This is a huge part. I would advise you, to tread lightly here. For all of my friends husbands who have cheated an evidentually left (and yes, I am the xOW that the MM didn't leave and fell into the statistics, and have 3 friends who xH did cheat and finally did leave after years, and are M to the OW.... GO FIGURE!!!), but back to my point....this is huge with the STBXW. If you guys cross that line of what she feels is respectful timing for her and their children....it will be GAME ON!! I promise you, and your already hard circumstance, will have just gotten much harder.

Also, I still am SO HAPPY FOR YOU AND WISH YOU ALL THE BEST. I didn't want to be the buzz kill, but since someone has brought it up. Tread lightly with your feelings too. Kind of "it aint over till the fat lady sings" type thing. My xMM left, told his wife, packed all his crap and was gone. She seemed fine at first, and he was like you speak of your MM on cloud nine, still had a level of fear, which is common, but seemed to be at peace and I think felt good that he wasn't living the lie. But, then somewhere she decided that she didn't want him to go, and worked to get him back home. And HE decided to go. I was more devasted than I ever had been. So many Ddays, so much hurt and I had almost had my hands on the "prize". Just guard yourself and look at this like philly said....a trial seperation.

 

I still want you to be a success story and wish all the best for all three of you and the kid-o's!!!!

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Oh, I hate to be a doubting Thomas but I wanted to point a few things...I say this not to trash talk you down but to get you to take a step back and think - ir protect yourself.

 

We had a massively, unhappy phone call on Aug 29 - 3 hours of my tears, my yelling and busting his chops bigtime, and his apologizing. The next week was torture for me, I was in complete psychic pain and agony. So, I called him on Sep 6 and said I needed some clarification as to what happened, how could he walk away so easy, ... He just kept saying he needed to "try again" for the kids. I, of course, was in complete tears but not busting his chops much this time. He had to go, and said he would call me the next night.

 

Its odd, to me, that he went from "try one more time for the kids" to "I want a D" in less than 24 hours.

 

Sep 7 - I am sitting having breakfast, he calls, says he went home, spoke to wife, and he's moving out this weekend. I was stunned. He sounded all jacked up, breathless. I told him I was having an out of body experience.

 

Wait, wait, wait. One, he hasn't gone anywhere YET.

Two, he sure changed his tune...you guys left your talk with "gotta try for the kids" and you wake up to "I'm leaving Saturday". Why the radical shift in one night? Now, I know people DO change their minds but its quite a shift from telling you goodbye to I'm moving out for you in ONE night. IT sounds like a knee-jerk reaction to something. The implication being he could knee-jerk right back home (provided he leaves).

 

We just spoke last night - he did indeed leave, moved quickly to a friend's place for the time being. They did meet with a counselor to figure out how to break it to the kids, 10 & 14 years. Well, lo and behold, the kids DID NOT FREAK OUT. They were pretty calm. The wife, although pissed about the affair, told him she does not hate him. They already scheduled "his days" with the kids. So, he spent all day with them yesterday and all went very well. He believes it may be the beginning of a better relationship with his son. Younger daughter is fine.

 

Yup, kids can handle IF the parents put their interest first. I don;t want to minimize this to them but its not all doom and gloom for the rest of their natural lives. However, there WILL be ramifications to this as they adjust...poor grades, emotional outburts and so on.

 

He sounded so happy, relieved, excited. He just kept saying "can you believe I moved out" and "I'm so sorry for all I have put you through". He said his giant burden has been lifted. Told me he's never had a relationship with any woman as he does with me. He's sounding very excited and in fact, a little crazy.

 

That's actually a red flag to me. Anytime I hear "I've never felt like this before" its a danger sign. That sounds more like infatuation than love. And the crazy has only just begun...it WILL be trying on you both. This is where AP's confuse trauma bonding with true love. Be careful. Take steps back and let him and his family sort this out.

 

I know this is just the beginning of another big adjustment, so I am not being blind, but it does all sound like it is progressing very well. I, also, feel as though a burden of emotional pain is lifting for me. We shall see.

 

Progressing well? Don't go counting chickens before they hatch. Right now, all that has happened is he moved in with a friend and apparently told the kids he is getting a D. Progressing well is a phrase reserved for "His D was final 12 months ago and I am gelling more and more with his kids".

 

Please be VERY careful.

 

I always felt that we did attract each other into our lives. There have been spiritual signs that we both agree are unbelievable. I have been patient, not my nature, but was getting right to the end of that program, that's why I was just bitching at him this summer, telling him, "words speak louder than actions". He finally found his courage. He said he was just imagining some big freak out from the kids and was repressing his feelings for me.

 

This sounds like trauma bonding. My opinion. Love grows slowly and steadily over time. This sounds like infatuation which leads to bonding, then trauma (teh upcoming D) and then even more bonding (trauma bonding). You will, in short order, begin to see who he REALLY is.

 

By pinning SO much on him and the image you created of him (and your lives together) you may be setting yourself up for another HARD crash. Now is the time to give him space.

 

SO many HUGE hurdles to clear.

Will his family accept you?

Will the kids?

Will your R survive as a legit R and not just an A?

 

I see much optimism in your post - an near victory call. But NOTHING has truly happened yet. Shoot, they haven't filed for D yet.

 

I guess the entire point of this...step back, put some healthy distance in place, and go SLOW. The journey truly hasn't even begun yet.

 

Do have faith, do use your head, do lean on friends and family during this.

Guard yourself. It gets worse before it gets better.

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I don't want to rain on your parade, but just be realistic here. Depending on the nature of their family dynamic, they may be OK in the short term, but they will likely be dealing with and adjusting to repercussions for quite a while. When we told our kids, my son was pretty much like, "OK, I'm gonna go out and play now...", but he has had the harder time bringing his issues to the surface, and thus the harder time in dealing with them.

 

I do believe kids can get through it in good health (and I'm glad that it sounds like your MM and his wlfe are starting out on the right foot, working out cooperative plans right from the start) but I believe that it doesn't "just happen", but that kids need caring and intentional support through the loss of their family, as they know it.

 

Kinda makes me wonder whether he didn't have the guts to "leave" so he laid out the affair, and she made the choice for him.

 

Good luck for a safe and healthy outcome for all involved.

 

Ditto to Trimmer and jwl.

 

Things are not all rosy. He hasn't done squat yet. I am curious how he got an appt with a counselor so quick and ta da, things are all working out.

 

Seems like he didn't like the 'chewing out' you gave him; maybe even he never told his wife about the affair. Maybe he is jerking your chair so you be a good little OW and keep quiet.

 

And I hope that you don't start planning a wedding or him moving until until he gets some counseling.

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Hey Sad Puppy, look after yourself first, take each day as it comes, keep your expectations low, and don't listen too hard to Debbie Downers who have no clue what it's like to be in your position.

Good luck.

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He had a counselor "so fast" because they went thru MC last winter. Additionally, they began discussing divorce in June, and confirmed it end of Aug. THEN, he confessed to affair and all the crazy drama began.

 

He said he was sick of repressing his feelings so he went home and told her, nothing is going to change our situation. So, she agreed, and now it's in motion. He told his sister about the moving out and the affair. He's telling his parents this weekend. He's already confided in close friends over the past few months. So, all these dynamics have been in play and I shared them on my first post.

 

I am wary because I am intelligent. However, I am pretty damn sure this is the real deal. Just checked his fb page and all spouse photos are gone. Ha, didn't expect that!

 

Nope, I am ready for the journey. I have no intention of meeting his kids until and IF we decide to marry. I did tell him I want to meet his parents, as both mine are gone. Obviously only time will tell, but we are actually psyched to not have "this burden" standing between us and now we can just enjoy each other, finally. We are both 51 so we are not kids. But we both really love each other and think we are a good pair. Plus we have fun!

 

I have stood by and been a good friend to him, but he knew the end was coming, he knew how unhappy I was and now I appreciate his courage and honesty, he's "owning the affair" to everyone he speaks to.

 

I know it's rare these types of relationships work out long term, but we have really battled the biggest challenge already. Sure, more to come, but hopefully we will march right thru them all. Sometimes fighting for love is worth it. Life is a mess sometimes, I like fighting for what I want and I like seeing him see the light and grab life by the horns, finally.

 

I look forward to having peace, most of all, just a little peace.

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Wow. Because people are saying basically "be careful" you have decided that they are twisted and in unhappy worlds? How about they have been there, done that and very rarely does it actually work out?

 

Do you realize that several of the people who posted on your thread are in the beginning stages of dealing with the ending of their affair? Do you realize you are basically taking a jab at them? :( Wow. How about they are PROCESSING things, not wallowing like you stated? How about they are working through the hurt and pain. But I guess since they aren't cheering you on and telling you YAY, then they are just dwelling in negativity and the cause of their own unhappy relationships?

 

Who are you talking about in regards to the folks on these boards who have been here for a long time, yet their situations don't change?

 

Since you chose to put down a lot of people, don't be shocked when your posts have few responses; since you have decided so many people here are just twisted and unhappy :( Wow :(

 

 

And just one more thing, ... I wonder if the negativity people bring to these boards is reflective of their own twisted, unhappy world? I am always aware of the paradigm that people speak through, their own life experiences. I just wonder if the wallowing and negativity, where people dwell, is the cause of their own, unhappy relationships?

 

Some of the folks on these boards have been here for a long time, a long time yet their situations don't change, don't progress, are not healthy.

 

Spreading fear, doubt, and negativity may work in your life - but not in mine.

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"Things are not all rosy. He hasn't done squat yet. I am curious how he got an appt with a counselor so quick and ta da, things are all working out.

 

Seems like he didn't like the 'chewing out' you gave him; maybe even he never told his wife about the affair. Maybe he is jerking your chair so you be a good little OW and keep quiet.

 

And I hope that you don't start planning a wedding or him moving until until he gets some counseling."

 

THIS IS WHAT I WAS RESPONDING TO - SOMEONE THAT OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T READ THE FIRST POST AND ALL WRITTEN ABOVE IS DEAD WRONG.

 

That's what I mean, specifically about people wallowing in their own negativity, spewing their negativity onto others.

 

My story started confused & sad. My story has taken a turn for the better, not to give false hope, but to show that not all these stories end up in the trash, maybe a little hope for others. Folks can take from it what they wish.

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And just one more thing, ... I wonder if the negativity people bring to these boards is reflective of their own twisted, unhappy world? I am always aware of the paradigm that people speak through, their own life experiences. I just wonder if the wallowing and negativity, where people dwell, is the cause of their own, unhappy relationships?

 

Some of the folks on these boards have been here for a long time, a long time yet their situations don't change, don't progress, are not healthy.

 

Spreading fear, doubt, and negativity may work in your life - but not in mine.

 

Interesting....should be another topic as I don't really see how it relates to this thread as no one has been spreading fear, doubt and negativity here.

 

I agree that what people post is reflective of their inner realities and that can be read in several ways.Everybody who posts, I pretty much can get a reading of their energy and that determines how I feel about their posts or e-persona in general.

 

Counter to what you're saying, I'll say that I think some who see negativity in posts that are simply saying "be careful" may be doing so because of their own fears about the state of their relationship, maybe they feel they are towing a thin line and don't need to hear anything to push them over the edge in how they feel about it.

 

There's a constant labeling of who is bitter from who is not and it is very one-sided normally, where the same people accuse the same other people of it....however, in my time here, I have truly only seen that label being rightfully ascribed to a few and there are also a few posters who would admit that they are bitter. Other than that, IMO, the rest of the time your theory is also relevant, that seeing negativity/bitterness/etc where there is none or simply words of caution is also a reflection of your own views on your life and your relationship.

 

I meant to actually wish you luck with everything earlier today but saw this post and decided to comment on it, I was going to say good luck and also "be careful" but....:o Anyway, good luck with everything and keep your eyes, ears, brain and heart open.

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"Things are not all rosy. He hasn't done squat yet. I am curious how he got an appt with a counselor so quick and ta da, things are all working out.

 

Seems like he didn't like the 'chewing out' you gave him; maybe even he never told his wife about the affair. Maybe he is jerking your chair so you be a good little OW and keep quiet.

 

And I hope that you don't start planning a wedding or him moving until until he gets some counseling."

 

THIS IS WHAT I WAS RESPONDING TO - SOMEONE THAT OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T READ THE FIRST POST AND ALL WRITTEN ABOVE IS DEAD WRONG.

 

That's what I mean, specifically about people wallowing in their own negativity, spewing their negativity onto others.

 

My story started confused & sad. My story has taken a turn for the better, not to give false hope, but to show that not all these stories end up in the trash, maybe a little hope for others. Folks can take from it what they wish.

 

 

Yea....that is unacceptable but very telling about that person's inner landscape IMO. Didn't see that comment, but in sticking with my post, yess...I feel the labels I spoke about, if given to whoever said that, can be seen as rightfully earned!

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"Things are not all rosy. He hasn't done squat yet. I am curious how he got an appt with a counselor so quick and ta da, things are all working out.

 

Seems like he didn't like the 'chewing out' you gave him; maybe even he never told his wife about the affair. Maybe he is jerking your chair so you be a good little OW and keep quiet.

 

And I hope that you don't start planning a wedding or him moving until until he gets some counseling."

 

THIS IS WHAT I WAS RESPONDING TO - SOMEONE THAT OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T READ THE FIRST POST AND ALL WRITTEN ABOVE IS DEAD WRONG.

 

That's what I mean, specifically about people wallowing in their own negativity, spewing their negativity onto others.

 

My story started confused & sad. My story has taken a turn for the better, not to give false hope, but to show that not all these stories end up in the trash, maybe a little hope for others. Folks can take from it what they wish.

 

Things aren't all rosey. There is no divorce RIGHT THIS SECOND. I wouldn't start planning a wedding because he is still married.

 

And FYI - I am not even an OW! So I am not wallowing!

 

You can also take what you need and leave the rest. If you are so sure and positive life will be wonderful, great. But to start bashing posters because they are saying be cautious, or beware, words don't mean squat, etc. .... not a great way to encourage people to respond.

 

It is obvious you really believe things are going to work out perfectly FOR YOU. The members of this forum know how quickly things can implode. I guess you don't want people to tell you to be careful, to not get so wrapped up in a "divorce' that hasn't happened yet.

 

I guess unless people cheer you on, we are all wrong, wallowing and full of negativity and lead twisted lives :( If that is what you need to believe *shrug* But read some of the posts here and you will see why no one is standing and cheering. Too many women have had their hearts broken by men who have done 'more' in terms of 'leaving' than the MM you are having an affair with. I guess it is easier to dismiss their views and thoughts and label them negative, twisted, and wallowing :(

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"Things are not all rosy. He hasn't done squat yet. I am curious how he got an appt with a counselor so quick and ta da, things are all working out.

 

Seems like he didn't like the 'chewing out' you gave him; maybe even he never told his wife about the affair. Maybe he is jerking your chair so you be a good little OW and keep quiet.

 

And I hope that you don't start planning a wedding or him moving until until he gets some counseling."

 

THIS IS WHAT I WAS RESPONDING TO - SOMEONE THAT OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T READ THE FIRST POST AND ALL WRITTEN ABOVE IS DEAD WRONG.

 

That's what I mean, specifically about people wallowing in their own negativity, spewing their negativity onto others.

 

My story started confused & sad. My story has taken a turn for the better, not to give false hope, but to show that not all these stories end up in the trash, maybe a little hope for others. Folks can take from it what they wish.

 

So you were just responding to one post but talked as if it were several posters. Now you're shouting at us.

 

As you say, people can take something from posts if they wish; and can leave the rest.

 

Your story is by no means over but I wish you luck. It's good to see a MM come clean and stop the gaslighting.

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