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Married Man..When The attraction is Mutual


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Old 31st July 2011, 5:36 PM   #1
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Married Man..When The attraction is Mutual

Hey loveshack... I have a Dilemna....There is this Guy Im EXTREMELY Attracted to....I see Him all the time, He's very Flirty and Sexy..Smart and did I mention SEXY.....Anyway, Of course he's married( Now The reason Why I say I know the Attraction is Mutual is because well... he told me so..He admitted to me That if It wasn't for his wife he would Pursue me..
Now I've seen his wife a couple times..She's cute but Nothing spectacular....It's almost like I feel she can sense the sexual chemistry that is between me and my husband...She's even went as far as cutting her hair like mine and dressing like me..smh..Why she's doing that I have no Idea....I figured maybe she's threatned..But anyway..
Whenever i see him there is always eye-contact between us..even when his wife is in the vicinity..Basically im very attracted..And if he is Bluffing and I'm sure he's not... WHY do married men come on soooo strong??? Im very tempted..
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Old 31st July 2011, 5:46 PM   #2
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sorry There was a type error I meant her and HER husband sorry..lol
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Old 31st July 2011, 5:49 PM   #3
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Forbidden fruit is always sweeter....

I'm very well aware of this as I realized (and am working on) the fact that unavailable men always seem to appeal to me more and I always lamented at the fact that every time I met or interacted with some guy with intensity he happened to have a gf or be married. I just avoided this temptation the other day.

Anyway, chemistry and strong attraction are not the end all be all and often times bad situations have the strongest pull. He may be sexy, smart and the rest but he is not irreplaceable. I'd suggest you not try to compare yourself to his wife and try to think about whether or not she is threatened by you and all this. He is somewhat of a sleaze to be telling you if it weren't for his wife, he'd be with you, oh please, gag me! It is flattering on a level. I get it. Like I said, I too have fallen into that temptation, up to earlier this week, but I feel better to leave it alone, especially since from what I know and my experience, such scenarios end up more often than not messy and not as shiny and hot as they initially seem.

Control your urges, don't allow them to control you.
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Old 31st July 2011, 5:51 PM   #4
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sorry There was a type error I meant her and HER husband sorry..lol
Freudian slip? lol. Do yourself a favor, and that married couple, and stay away from him. Find someone that is available and can give you everything a relationship should have. He can't do that. Please have respect for yourself, and stay away.
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Old 31st July 2011, 5:54 PM   #5
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So Typical..Have U ever been The other woman??? If not I dont need your Input...!!
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Old 31st July 2011, 5:56 PM   #6
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@missBee..Thanks good advice..
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Old 31st July 2011, 5:58 PM   #7
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So Typical..Have U ever been The other woman??? If not I dont need your Input...!!
No, I haven't been. But one of my sisters has, and the other sister was the victim of a cheating husband. My sister who was the OW was only 17 at the time, and was being played by a 32 year old man. Do yourself a favor and don't get involved in that situation. Nothing good will come from it, and you will live to regret it. Sorry if that's not something you wanted to hear.
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Old 31st July 2011, 6:04 PM   #8
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So Typical..Have U ever been The other woman??? If not I dont need your Input...!!
Soaddictive....what would be the ideal atypical response you're looking for? I am curious. Are you seeking validation for a choice you've already made? You can be honest....

We've all been in a position where we've already made up our minds or want to do something, and ask for "advice" but what we hope is for people to support what we already want so we feel good about doing it. It happens.....

If such is the case you can be honest about it.
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Old 31st July 2011, 6:11 PM   #9
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Better yet ask yourself why you are so attracted to someone who is for all intents and purposes is unavailable? Why potentially get into something that could be so potentially hurtful and problematic?

You sound very young, are you?

Indeed...the situations that appeal to us, tell us a lot about ourselves especially if we stop to ask ourselves why versus running with it.

It's interesting that SOA brought up this man's wife and how she looks or how she thinks this woman thinks about her, no less saying she is threatened by her....that in itself is a point I'd consider about myself as to why my train of thought even went down that path at all? What does this say about me? Why would I think this? Of what use is this to me and my psyche?

Self awareness is a goldmine!
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Old 31st July 2011, 6:21 PM   #10
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MissB..I Understand where Your coming from..But what kills me is so many people REALLY think that A person can Control who they are attracted too..Thats Non-sense because attraction is as naturally as breathing It is Instinctual.

As far as me mentioning his wife..It was just an observation I made..So I commented on it..And yes he does flirt with me all the time.

At the end of the day Its him who has the wandering eyes im not commited... he is.
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Old 31st July 2011, 6:37 PM   #11
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MissB..I Understand where Your coming from..But what kills me is so many people REALLY think that A person can Control who they are attracted too..Thats Non-sense because attraction is as naturally as breathing It is Instinctual.

As far as me mentioning his wife..It was just an observation I made..So I commented on it..And yes he does flirt with me all the time.

At the end of the day Its him who has the wandering eyes im not commited... he is.
The bolded is classic....

But in any case, it's true....he has wandering eyes, so he is not that great of a catch to entangle yourself with Neither you or his wife are seated in the best seat as both are interested in a...sleaze.

You can't help who you're attracted to, agreed. You can choose to not act on attraction though and realize attraction as just that....attraction. Nothing to disturb your life over as it often fades and no one ever died from not following their attraction. Likewise, the types of people and situations you find yourself strongly pulled to do tell a story worth listening to.
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Old 31st July 2011, 6:54 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by SOAddictive View Post
Hey loveshack... I have a Dilemna....There is this Guy Im EXTREMELY Attracted to....I see Him all the time, He's very Flirty and Sexy..Smart and did I mention SEXY.....Anyway, Of course he's married( Now The reason Why I say I know the Attraction is Mutual is because well... he told me so..He admitted to me That if It wasn't for his wife he would Pursue me..
Now I've seen his wife a couple times..She's cute but Nothing spectacular....It's almost like I feel she can sense the sexual chemistry that is between me and my husband...She's even went as far as cutting her hair like mine and dressing like me..smh..Why she's doing that I have no Idea....I figured maybe she's threatned..But anyway..
Whenever i see him there is always eye-contact between us..even when his wife is in the vicinity..Basically im very attracted..And if he is Bluffing and I'm sure he's not... WHY do married men come on soooo strong??? Im very tempted..
So you are jealous of his wife? Maybe you are copying her with the hair and clothes? Maybe you know nothing about her and just like to assume she sees this great attraction you and HER husband have?

Did you know that many men say "if it wasn't for xyz, I would want to screw you"...and it doesn't mean anything more than a physical attraction. People are attracted to others --- not that hard to get. Go ahead, have an affair ..... see what it is like to get crumbs. If you think he is going to have sex with you, declare he is in love with you and dump his wife, go read more threads on being the mistress. It isn't the glam and glory you try to think it is.

Men will screw just about anything....doesn't mean they are in love.
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Old 31st July 2011, 6:55 PM   #13
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It's easier to flirt with abandon when one is M because it doesn't matter. One's spouse is there to validate one's ego regardless of the response.

Quote:
He admitted to me That if It wasn't for his wife he would Pursue me..
Oldest line in the MM book. I don't recall ever having to resort to one so obvious but YMMV.

Quote:
WHY do married men come on soooo strong???
No downside. Even rejection/scorn/ridicule is irrelevant. See my first response for reason.

Having BTDT enough times as an OM, I see the progression easily and it's easy to find a different path. There's always another attractive person coming along. Good luck.
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Old 31st July 2011, 6:56 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by SOAddictive View Post
MissB..I Understand where Your coming from..But what kills me is so many people REALLY think that A person can Control who they are attracted too..Thats Non-sense because attraction is as naturally as breathing It is Instinctual.

As far as me mentioning his wife..It was just an observation I made..So I commented on it..And yes he does flirt with me all the time.

At the end of the day Its him who has the wandering eyes im not commited... he is.
I hope you remember that sentence when and if you get married and some woman wants your husband. His eyes aren't the only ones who are wandering, yours are too. I can understand his desperation but why are you so desperate? Can't you attract sexy, goodlooking single men or the competition amongst single women more than you can handle?
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Old 31st July 2011, 7:06 PM   #15
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So Typical..Have U ever been The other woman??? If not I dont need your Input...!!
Her input was fine. Why bother w/ this guy? He's married & it's very possible he only sees you as an easy lay.
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