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The Decision! Watching my wife with another man


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Old 29th July 2011, 2:19 AM   #1
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The Decision! Watching my wife/Threesome

Hello everyone,

I am new here and I posted this before but for some reason I cant find it on here anymore. Anyway let me get straight to it.

My wife with whom I have been with for 18 years (8 Years Married) came to a mutual agreement that she can sleep with another man as long as I watched. Now just a little history behind this decision. We talk about it a few times during sex and during just pillow talk. But never did anything close to it.

We thought about going to a swinger type club to try it out but that was a no go for the wife because she did not feel comfortable not knowing who she was having sex with. OK I was able to live with that. A few months went on with us talking about it and my wife told me she thinks she has a person she would be interested in.

Now before I get into everything that happened my wife has only been with her first, and myself this entire 18 year span. She has done some stuff with a female friend of hers but we also came up with that idea together. Now the reason I was interested in seeing my wife with another man is flat out weird to me also and I cant explain why it's a turn on. All I know is is that my wife has a very deep vagina, and she has been able to handle me more then I have been able to punish her during sex. I have seen her take a 10inch dildo easy. So she has skills. I also probably watch to much damn porn and seeing it live is another reason I wanted her to do this. I also feel bad she has only had 2 guys her whole life so letting her do this felt like a gift from me or something. Fact of the matter is we decided to do this together regardless of what we thought in our heads to make us actually do it. And no I am not gay. Seeing another man Johnson does not freak me out. I am completely turned on by my wife and my wife only. Not the man banging my wife. That's just for the record.

Now to make a long story short my wife decided to have sex with our barber. She has been taking our kids to this dude for awhile and she never looked at him any other way but to cut the kids hair in a hurry so she can get home and make dinner. So when she said she had someone in mind I knew it was him because this is the only guy she sees just about every week or every other week. So we decided for her to go at him and not let him come on to her just so we know where controlling this plan. It works and now my wife is the aggressor so we got this all under control right? OK we was going to let him know our plan from the start. That was to either let me watch and possibly turn it into a threesome with me and him wearing my wife out. But my wife decided not to do that because she wanted to be sure he was the right choice. OK Cool. We decided to let her do it by herself the first time to make sure and she was to record it and bring it home for me to watch.

Now this is where I think it starts to go bad. They did it while I stayed home like a sick puppy wondering why I let her do this. I mean I just could not believe I let this happen or even talked her into it. But I thought I knew what I was getting myself into and that I could deal with it. Didn't work out that way for me at all. My wife comes back home downplaying what happen at first because she could tell I was not feeling good about what happen. I actually flipped out about the most weirdest things once she started saying what happen. Anyway, it went down in a car and he sucked her toes, she rode him for a bit, and the finale was him on top trying to punish her with her legs all the way back. My baby was able to take it like a pro without any problems. Once I got the real story she told me she was very scared before it happen and was shivering but her sexual drive kicked in and she flat out took everything he could give. She also felt he whack the first time around and he seems more like a kid getting his first piece of ass. This is how she gave the story to me. My wife is not a liar so I take what she says as the truth.

Now after all that I was mad off and on for days driving her freaking crazy with my attitude and my insane questions about his package being bigger then mine, too did he make you cum. She answer them truthfully. And I calm down after about 4 days. So now I ask her to let him know what our plan was. She tells me she cant just yet because she don't want him to think we were using him. I am like WTF I don't care what he thinks. As far as I am concerned he needs to know up front just so he knows he is not going to be calling you whenever he wants to **** you. I know how dudes think. And I was freaking right because this dude is now hooked and wants it a second time. I tried to convince my wife to inform him of our plan thinking that this will make him back off and get a grip with his horny ass. She talks me out of it again and I agree with her to let her do it her way. Now in the back of my head I am thinking she is having to much fun with this and she might just be out for herself now and not for the both of us. But she assures me that this is for us and not just herself. I forgot to mention my wife never recorded it and thats why I ended up with an attitude in the first place. She gave some excuse but whatever its easy to press record on an iphone.


OK So now to Round 2. I agreed to let it go again because I felt my wife had this all under control but by me being my paranoid self I felt I should let her know how us men think when we get it the second time. I told her that everything from the first time will change and that he is going to be hell bent on making her feel good. And damn if I was not right. This time right before she went i got an attitude and ask her not to go but we talked about it and I just said whatever do what you have to do. I mean its for me and her correct??? This time around it happened outside. He hit it from the back and my wife said he came in seconds. Not good for him because she gave him the age old question "You Done already" Apparently she gave him a stare that he could not resist and bursting he went. So they go back to the car and my wife lets this dude go down on her. He has been begging her to do this because he is so good at it he says. ( Sometimes I think this dude is such a clown) So he does it and she did not like it much. Pulls him up and grabs his junk to put it in. He hits it like that for awhile and then she decides to ride him. They do this for awhile and my wife said she started to not feel it in her so they lay down. This time dude does not go for the kill, her grinds her the whole time trying to make her cum. She cums and he cums right after. That's round 2 for you.

Like I said before this dude was going to change things up and he did. Nothing I am happy about because I am not interested in her having sex slowly. The whole plan was for her to get ****ed hard. That did not happen the second time so now I am pissed because I think this dude was trying to make love to my wife. Now I am really regretting us doing this silly idea. After the second time I am really upset and cant take it no more. I told my wife that the second time was all for her and not me because she knew I did not want her to go and she did anyway. They even had a slight disagreement when they met up because the guy could tell she was upset about something. But guess what? They did it anyway. So that lets me know even more the second time was just for her and just slightly for me. She was even supposed to record again the second time. I mean you cant mess up again right? And not record it a second time knowing how hell bent I was to see or at least hear something right? NOPE! Again no recording, no sound no nothing. I mean I was going to use these videos to ultimately help my decision to even go forward with the threesome. But NOOOOO! No video of anything. Same old weird ass excuse. Can you believe that?


OK now the after math off all this up until today. I am still mad and I am beating myself crazy that I allow this to happen. I mean me and my wife were doing great in the "Sex Dept" and I should have never opened this can of worms to her. But for some reason the excitement of this outweigh how I thought I would feel after it. I told myself I could handle it. I mean I really thought I could and honestly I can because I am not leaving my wife over this BS but I am sure she is tired of my mixed emotions and my attitude. Now I find myself drilling her about stuff I should probably not want to know because I am sure I would get upset by it. For example, I ask her how did she really feel the second time around and how did it differ from the first. She told me the truth and damn if I did not feel like I died inside. She said the first time was just fun and nothing else, but the second time was off the charts. She admitted that she came 3 damn times the second time. 1 when she first started to ride him, 2 while she was laying down, and 3 while she was laying down. So now I am freaking out because I cant remember ever making my wife cum 3 damn times. I mean she claim I have before but **** I don't remember. We been having sex for 18 years I cant remember that ****. And I am sure she cant remember it that well either. Especially after some dude just made you cum that many times so recently. Whatever I did whenever I did it is out the door as far as I am concern. LOL!

So now I am mad folks. My wife says I have nothing to worry about because she will never leave me for this dude. She did say that if I keep harassing her with this BS and getting attitudes she will leave my ass. But I cant help it. I mean this is all new to me and honestly I did not think I would react like this but I cant help it. Now I have this dude who constantly calls my wife, text her, and says what he wants to say to her because he has no clue we came up with this plan together. As far as he is concerned my wife is cheating on me with him and he is loving every minute of it. I cant take this **** for real. But I know I brought this on myself and I prepared for the worst so I thought. But I am sure there is going to be more and I keep asking my wife to tell this dude what we came up with so he can stop stalking you like your his wife.

Just to add a bit more information because this post is long but this has been going on for a month now and I wanted to let you guys know everything so I can get the most accurate opinions I can possibly get. This guy is married already with kids of his own, and has informed my wife that his wife is lame and would never do the stuff she did. Also my wife made 100% sure this dude wore a condom. We were very serious about that and even though its still a risk with a condom still better to use one then not. And they used one every time. They also agreed this will be a "No Strings Attached" relationship

So now we have been talking about going ahead with doing the threesome\watching plan because she is ready to let him know whats the true plan here. We tried some stuff like letting him here us have sex without him knowing that I know he is listening. I let my wife have phone sex with him also just so I can listen and see how I feel about it. I am just not feeling a 3rd time without me not being there. But the problem for me is how will I feel after the threesome or even me watching without doing anything. Will I get mad all over again or will I take it for what it is. Just plain fun that me and my wife are having doing this. I personally think this dude needs to know I know about all of what has been happening so he can stop talking freaky to myself every chance he gets. That ****s annoying as ****. But what if he does not stop? What if he keeps doing it because he thinks I am cool with it? Do I let him know? I mean I really don't know WTF to do about all this.


All I know is I am confused and have been thinking with my dick this whole time not considering the consequences of what could happen. Now that I am thinking I am mad and horny at the same time. I mean I am really screwed up here. Help me out folks. What should do. Try and stop it all or just roll with it? I mean this could put our strong, strong relationship to the test FOR REAL!

Thanks folks. Sorry for any Typo's I am not perfect, nor is spell check.

BTW! Flamers do what you got to do. I am sure I will hear the statement of " You never should have put your wife out there in the first place DUMBASS" I read that so many times on various message boards but it is what it is. If we all did what we should not do how would we get anywhere in life?

You Live and You Learn!

Last edited by noid; 29th July 2011 at 2:53 AM.. Reason: Change the Title
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Old 29th July 2011, 4:11 AM   #2
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Ahmmm wow....

To be honest, part of me was wondering if this post is real or not due to some of the language used....I wasn't sure whether or not you were relaying a problem you needed help with or narrating a pornographic novel.


I'll also be honest and say that that whole thing seems to be a mess. I am all for married folks deciding together the terms of their marriage and making mutual decisions on the alternative style but it does take a certain level of strength, maturity, security within one's self and the marriage and communication to not allow such situations to take over one's peace of mind.


There is no point of turning back now....so all you can do is voice your concerns. If you decide that you're uncomfortable with this, let your wife know. If she loves you and cares more about your marriage than NSA sex....then she will probably do as you wish. It is already testing your relationship.....now there is the chance that even if she stops you won't believe her and then you'l be perpetually worried if she is sleeping with him behind your back or the door has been opened now for her to find other men and the lot. If that happens then you all have a lot of work ahead of you to get back to a comfortable place.
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Old 29th July 2011, 4:41 AM   #3
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When you allow your wife to screw another man, you risk losing her. She could develop feelings for this other guy, and he for her. Having sex with someone is not just sex. Oftentimes, an emotional connection develops as well. Your wife may decide she likes this other guy better. You've given her permission to have sex with this guy, and now you have no control over the situation. I would suggest telling your wife that this idea of yours was a terrible mistake, and you should not have suggested it. Have her tell the guy she no longer wants a relationship with him, and to stop calling her. And start to value your wife as a person and not a sex object. Someone that you love--not someone that you're pimping out.
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Old 29th July 2011, 8:10 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by MissBee View Post
Ahmmm wow....

To be honest, part of me was wondering if this post is real or not due to some of the language used....I wasn't sure whether or not you were relaying a problem you needed help with or narrating a pornographic novel.


I'll also be honest and say that that whole thing seems to be a mess. I am all for married folks deciding together the terms of their marriage and making mutual decisions on the alternative style but it does take a certain level of strength, maturity, security within one's self and the marriage and communication to not allow such situations to take over one's peace of mind.


There is no point of turning back now....so all you can do is voice your concerns. If you decide that you're uncomfortable with this, let your wife know. If she loves you and cares more about your marriage than NSA sex....then she will probably do as you wish. It is already testing your relationship.....now there is the chance that even if she stops you won't believe her and then you'l be perpetually worried if she is sleeping with him behind your back or the door has been opened now for her to find other men and the lot. If that happens then you all have a lot of work ahead of you to get back to a comfortable place.
Its very real and I apologize for the language. But I was expressing my feelings when I wrote this so and I wanted to be as accurate as possible without sugarcoating it.

Your right there is no turning back. And that's how I am looking at it now because I feel I no longer have control of this so I need to let it ride. I have told her that if we decide to stop this that I would probably not believe her and think she is going to do it behind my back. That is why I don't want to tell her to stop so I would be informed when anything goes down.

So I am pimping my wife out? I read that before. I don't feel that way but like I said this is all new to me and hearing what other people think will help me decide what I need to do. I thought that since we both agreed on this I was not pimping her out. A pimp forces his women to do what he wants to get paid. What we did together was totally different.
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Old 29th July 2011, 8:44 AM   #5
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Where are you going to get the kid's hair cut now?
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Old 29th July 2011, 9:10 AM   #6
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You what?

I can't offer any constructive advice because I can't imagine being in such a ludicrous position. I could never imagine letting my wife get naked with another man . . . with my permission no less. The closest I can come to that is thinking of her BEFORE we met with men she dated. That's a cross between a weird turn-on and being a little jealous. But it sounds like they were all fairly boring since they all used the standard sexual position anyway. Answer: Stop this madness now before things get further out of control. Reinforce to her that you love her and this is not what you thought it would be. Then you better be able to make some first-rate love to her afterward so as to put this guy out of her mind ASAP!
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Old 29th July 2011, 9:30 AM   #7
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Are you just telling us this story just to be telling a story or was there actually some question there? Although I can't imagine what the question would be....
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Old 29th July 2011, 9:40 AM   #8
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Your mistake was deciding against the swingers club, where no one would have pressured you or your wife into anything, you could have fleshed out how you felt about being with your wife in an open sexual situation without either of you being obligated to do anything, there would have been at least some rules of conduct, even if the two of you were too lazy to lay them out for yourselves beforehand, you would have been there to stop the play at any time, and no one would have become a stalker afterwards.
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Old 29th July 2011, 10:56 AM   #9
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OK, I'll bite.
I noticed that several times in your post, you referred to sex as punishment. You did not refer to being into BDSM, so I will take your statement as posted. If you really believe sex is to be used as punishment, then I think you both have very unhealthy attitudes toward sex, and you both might benefit from therapy.

I think the root of the problem is that you do not feel like an adequate lover, and the drama has ensued due to your inadequacies.
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Old 29th July 2011, 11:27 AM   #10
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Are you just telling us this story just to be telling a story or was there actually some question there? Although I can't imagine what the question would be....
I was giving you the background on a decision my wife and I made and then letting you know how much I regret it. Ultimately wanted to know what to do now since its been done.
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Old 29th July 2011, 11:32 AM   #11
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Obviously you can't live this lifestyle you thought you wanted to live. Talk to your wife and tell her this, and hope she agrees.
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Old 29th July 2011, 11:39 AM   #12
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BTW! Flamers do what you got to do. I am sure I will hear the statement of " You never should have put your wife out there in the first place DUMBASS" I read that so many times on various message boards but it is what it is. If we all did what we should not do how would we get anywhere in life?

You Live and You Learn!
Alot of us don't need to try swimming with water moccasins or eating broken glass to "see how it'll work out". We have a pretty good idea ahead of time that it'll likely suck.

You f*cked up pretty badly, and I have no idea how you're going to put the genie back into the bottle. If nothing else, I hope you learned something for your next relationship.
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Old 29th July 2011, 12:06 PM   #13
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I think your wife played you like a fiddle on this one. I'd be willing to bet she and the barber have had something going on prior to your knowledge. She just figured out a way for them to keep going without having to worry about being caught.

I might be wrong, but... that's just my gut feeling.
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Old 29th July 2011, 12:21 PM   #14
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I don't know what to say. You gave your consent to let your wife be intimate with another man. Now you are regretting it. I think it's a little bit like trying to get the toothpaste back into the tube after squeezing it out, but maybe it will work out if you communicate your feelings and what you want. Best wishes to you.
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Old 29th July 2011, 12:52 PM   #15
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I stopped reading about two thirds in. From what I did read it seems that you are finding out the hard way that you don't get to control fantasy when you try to make it into reality. In fantasy it all goes as plans and it all goes away too. As soon as it goes into reality, you totally lose any control. People don't just disappear and go back to being non-concerns. So, you've toyed with a fantasy and the reality bit. I hope for your sake it's not too late to overcome what ails you but this should be a lesson to anyone that reality and fantasy just are things better left what they are. Stick with fantasy if you don't want to risk your marriage or your trust or w/e. Good luck.
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