Double Trouble

[Bouey]

Hello everybody...

 

I'm currently involved in two affairs with 2 married men. Yes!, I'm single and I've been seeing two married men for about two months now.

 

My first affair started about 6 years ago with a man who's eight years younger than me. We had broken up about about a year ago and just recently had gotten back together. Well when we were broken up, I met this other man (who's also younger than me of about five years) whose also married to someone else. We've been seeing each other for about 7 months now.

 

At the time that I met these men, I didn't know that they were married or involved with someone else...

 

My trouble is, is that how do I juggle two married men at the same time? I don't want to let either of them go because I like them both. I've tried pushing away the 7month affair -or should I call him MM#2. I tried pushing away MM#2 but he doesn't want to take the hint.

 

Neither of them know that I'm seeing them both at the same time.

 

And MM#1, I really don't want to let him go, because we have history together (6 years). I also love MM#1. The down fall with MM#1 is that I barely spend anytime with him... even when we are together. That's disappointing to me. So that's where MM#2 comes in, he fills the void.

 

So I need to know should I keep them both? or should I let one go?

[Silly_Girl]

Hello everybody...

 

I'm currently involved in two affairs with 2 married men. Yes!, I'm single and I've been seeing two married men for about two months now.

 

My first affair started about 6 years ago with a man who's eight years younger than me. We had broken up about about a year ago and just recently had gotten back together. Well when we were broken up, I met this other man (who's also younger than me of about five years) whose also married to someone else. We've been seeing each other for about 7 months now.

 

At the time that I met these men, I didn't know that they were married or involved with someone else...

 

My trouble is, is that how do I juggle two married men at the same time? I don't want to let either of them go because I like them both. I've tried pushing away the 7month affair -or should I call him MM#2. I tried pushing away MM#2 but he doesn't want to take the hint.

 

Neither of them know that I'm seeing them both at the same time.

 

And MM#1, I really don't want to let him go, because we have history together (6 years). I also love MM#1. The down fall with MM#1 is that I barely spend anytime with him... even when we are together. That's disappointing to me. So that's where MM#2 comes in, he fills the void.

 

So I need to know should I keep them both? or should I let one go?

 

What is fulfilling for you about either or both relationships, Bouey?

[drocks07]

kristismiles might have offered some of the worst advice I've heard in a while. I think you're playing with fire. I think you have some deep-seeded issues you need to evaluate and break things off with these guys before you get hurt. First of all, why are you making yourself unavailable to be with a GOOD, DECENT guy? Do you have such a heartbreaking past that you can't forgive yourself and just let yourself be loved??

 

Let me tell you that a weighted history STILL shouldn't have the power over you to deny yourself the right to be treated good. I'm sorry but messing around with a guy who won't commit to you is simply a way to let yourself be subconsciously defeated. Whatever is eating at you, causing you to be so guarded and lonely has to be fixed. You deserve better than being someone's second choice.

 

Lastly, how many other women are these dudes sleeping with? Is it really worth it, wasting your time on these two? What you need to do is find a way to start loving yourself. I know you'll just be defensive at what I'm writing but I'm simply planting a seed. Let it marinate. Life is short. Don't waste it on this. No one is guaranteed tomorrow so make the best of all your today's while you still can.

[fooled once]

Hello everybody...

 

I'm currently involved in two affairs with 2 married men. Yes!, I'm single and I've been seeing two married men for about two months now.

 

My first affair started about 6 years ago with a man who's eight years younger than me. We had broken up about about a year ago and just recently had gotten back together. Well when we were broken up, I met this other man (who's also younger than me of about five years) whose also married to someone else. We've been seeing each other for about 7 months now.

 

At the time that I met these men, I didn't know that they were married or involved with someone else...

 

My trouble is, is that how do I juggle two married men at the same time? I don't want to let either of them go because I like them both. I've tried pushing away the 7month affair -or should I call him MM#2. I tried pushing away MM#2 but he doesn't want to take the hint.

 

Neither of them know that I'm seeing them both at the same time.

 

And MM#1, I really don't want to let him go, because we have history together (6 years). I also love MM#1. The down fall with MM#1 is that I barely spend anytime with him... even when we are together. That's disappointing to me. So that's where MM#2 comes in, he fills the void.

 

So I need to know should I keep them both? or should I let one go?

 

Only you can make this decision

 

I just hope you are practicing safe sex because neither of the wives deserve to get an STD.

[Happy Finally]

I say invite them both over at the same time. Which ever one is down for it is the one to keep !!!

 

No, seriously this could just lead to trouble. But if you are satisfied with your situation and don't mind the juggling...go for it. You only live once and if this makes you happy then so be it. Who are we to judge each other.

[BB07]

Who are we to judge each other.

 

But we do.........it might not be right or fair but we do measure other people's behavior by our own standards and we arrive at one of several conclusions. It's human nature.

 

Just sayin'!

[whichwayisup]

So I need to know should I keep them both? or should I let one go?

Gonna go against grain here and say, dump them both. You deserve a man who isn't going to lie to you from the start and you did mention that you didn't know BOTH men were married when you first started seeing them. 2 men lied/omitted the fact they were married. If you had known right away, would you still have pursued them?

 

Anyway, why let one go when you can let both go?

 

I know this isn't the advice you've asked for, but it's all that I can offer you.

[OpenBook]

I'm currently involved in two affairs with 2 married men. Yes!, I'm single and I've been seeing two married men for about two months now.

 

Lizzie, is that you?? Sheesh where is that woman when you need her?!

[Jane Deaux]

But we do.........it might not be right or fair but we do measure other people's behavior by our own standards and we arrive at one of several conclusions. It's human nature.

 

Just sayin'!

 

I hate that I feel the need to start or end each post with "no harm intended"

 

But this post made me think, so I googled "define judge" because:

 

I truly feel that I do not judge MOST people. There are obvious situations where I believe nearly everyone tends to judge, child or animal abuse for example, but I really feel that I don't judge most people. I don't expect anyone to conform to any way of thinking that I may have for myself. I may arrive at a conclusion about someone, but does this mean I'm judging them?

 

And what I found is:

 

"define: With object:

 

to form a judgment or opinion of; decide upon critically: You can't judge a book by its cover.

 

without object:

13. to act as a judge; pass judgment: No one would judge between us.

 

14. to form an opinion or estimate: I have heard the evidence and will judge accordingly.

 

15. to make a mental judgment."

 

And here is a silly face to take all sting out

 

 

And Bouey:

 

Don't feel like you should keep one or the other or even both. If you love one, then I would say you might want to let the other go. If you aren't worried about hurting one or the other, then I guess just this advice, be super careful, and yes, condoms are our friends.

[Bouey]

Thank you all for your responses....

 

I've decided to keep them both ... Yep, I'm single and I deserve to have my cake and eat it too at this time in my life, and yes, condoms are my best friends...

[Bouey]

What is fulfilling for you about either or both relationships, Bouey?

 

The fact that I have 2 MM's desiring my attention and affection. It makes me feel good and elated!

[seren]

So neither MM knows you are seeing the other and you are getting advice that says go for it and you are proud that you are having your cake and eating it. I wonder how many of the OW/OM would offer the go for it advice if the MM they were seeing had OOW. From what I have read here, most of the OW/OM are in their A's because they love the MM, this I can understand, even though I think relationships based on deceit aren't the way to go, but some are successful. I don't think I have read, well not often anyway, where an OW is in it for getting attention and for feeling desirable.

 

I don't understand the being with 2 people at the same time, whether they are married or not when you have a choice. Do you expect or want either to leave and be with you exclusively in the future? or is it just a fun thing? It would be pointless for me to point out that there will be 2 women and 2 families hurt by the A's, you know this, of course. I hope that you aren't the one to feel hurt either now or in the future.

 

Am I judging? Your actions don't affect me, I am a casual observer, but your post was so different from the experiences of other OW, that I just wondered what your expectations were, other than having fun. of course we all judge others actions, that is human nature. Truthfully, I judge that you are looking to fill some need (other than sexual) by having two men who are already committed find you desirable and I wonder about that.

 

I am glad condoms are your friend, STD's are nobody's mate.

[Bouey]

Do you expect or want either to leave and be with you exclusively in the future? or is it just a fun thing?

 

To answer your questions, No I don't expect them to leave their wives, I wouldn't want them to. I really don't see a "future" being the OW to either of them, but if it happens then it happens. I'm enjoying my life as the OW because it has its perks (for me) in what I'm looking for at the moment.

 

I actually don't feel like I'm breaking up any homes by being with them, I actually may be helping their marriages by being with them. They feel like they have an "outlet" that they can turn to when they need to, so they can return to their marriages as a whole man again -I guess. But I'm not in for them, I'm in it for me.

 

Yes it is most definitely a "fun thing" for me

[greengoddess]

Do you expect or want either to leave and be with you exclusively in the future? or is it just a fun thing?

 

To answer your questions, No I don't expect them to leave their wives, I wouldn't want them to. I really don't see a "future" being the OW to either of them, but if it happens then it happens. I'm enjoying my life as the OW because it has its perks (for me) in what I'm looking for at the moment.

 

I actually don't feel like I'm breaking up any homes by being with them, I actually may be helping their marriages by being with them. They feel like they have an "outlet" that they can turn to when they need to, so they can return to their marriages as a whole man again -I guess. But I'm not in for them, I'm in it for me.

 

Yes it is most definitely a "fun thing" for me

 

Don't kid yourself. You are most certainly not helping their marraige.

[Bouey]

Don't kid yourself. You are most certainly not helping their marraige.

 

Don't kid yourself in thinking that I kid myself...

[bentnotbroken]

Do you expect or want either to leave and be with you exclusively in the future? or is it just a fun thing?

 

To answer your questions, No I don't expect them to leave their wives, I wouldn't want them to. I really don't see a "future" being the OW to either of them, but if it happens then it happens. I'm enjoying my life as the OW because it has its perks (for me) in what I'm looking for at the moment.

 

I actually don't feel like I'm breaking up any homes by being with them, I actually may be helping their marriages by being with them. They feel like they have an "outlet" that they can turn to when they need to, so they can return to their marriages as a whole man again -I guess. But I'm not in for them, I'm in it for me.

 

Yes it is most definitely a "fun thing" for me

 

 

 

:lmao::lmao:Lizzie's motto at it's best and it is still full of.....stuff.

[seren]

Thanks for being honest Bouey, I don't think I have ever heard someone being pleased to be an 'outlet' for anyone, don't think I would value that very much, in fact not at all. But as you say, you are having fun and keeping the BS and yourself safe by using condoms. Personally, I think it is sad that feeling desirable and wanted is met by being an 'outlet', I think that any woman is worth more than that, including an OW, but it's your life to live. Just my thoughts and observation. No offence intended.

Edited March 16, 2011 by seren
changed a word

[donnamaybe]

 

 

:lmao::lmao:Lizzie's motto at it's best and it is still full of.....stuff.

Rationalization is also someone's best friend.

[Bouey]

Thanks for being honest Bouey, I don't think I have ever heard someone being pleased to be an 'outlet' for anyone, don't think I would value that very much, in fact not at all. But as you say, you are having fun and keeping the BS and yourself safe by using condoms. Personally, I think it is sad that feeling desirable and wanted is met by being an 'outlet', I think that any woman is worth more than that, including an OW, but it's your life to live. Just my thoughts and observation. No offence intended.

 

I'm not going to sit up here and try to convince anyone why I love the fact that I'm seeing 2 MM. One thing you did have right is that it is "MY LIFE" and I plan on living it to please me, myself, and I. So if that means that I'm an "outlet" then so be it. What ever I am to them it is totally fine with me.

[Bouey]

What about keep none and get yourself one single man that has what these 2 charming gents have. They have those , you know...

 

Now, my *raises eyebrow* findings- What's with the inconsistency in your time frame? Which one is it? 2 months or 6 yrs & 7 months?

 

First of all I will choose who ever I want to be with. If it means 2 MM's then so be it. Who are you to tell me what to get?

 

To clear up your confusion, I've been seeing one for 6years, then we broken up. Then I started up the second relationship and we've been seeing each other for 7 months. So MM#1 ended up calling me wanting to get back together and we did, that was 2 months ago. So I've been seeing them both at the same time for about 2 months now.... Understand????

[Bouey]

:lmao: I cant! LMAO! How old are you? Whoa! Good for you! This was my mindset when I was 17 too. How empty... what do you have to offer? Let's be for real. If one of these MMs, showed up at your door with all their Louie's, (I hope they are at least rich) because he got booted, wtf you are going to do? I am interested in hearing your response. Seriously.

 

Would you take him in and offer him a life together?

 

Get a life...

[whichwayisup]

First of all I will choose who ever I want to be with. If it means 2 MM's then so be it. Who are you to tell me what to get?

 

To clear up your confusion, I've been seeing one for 6years, then we broken up. Then I started up the second relationship and we've been seeing each other for 7 months. So MM#1 ended up calling me wanting to get back together and we did, that was 2 months ago. So I've been seeing them both at the same time for about 2 months now.... Understand????

 

I don't understand why you're here. You're happy with 2 MM. Living your life and don't care what anybody says about it.. The thing is, when one posts, people will reply! Like what they say or not, MANY people are going to react.

 

Also, I'm sure if you walked into a room full of 300 people and announced you were having an affair with 2 married men and were proud of it, you wouldn't get warm round of applause from the crowd.

 

I'm just not fully understanding your purpose of posting, except to push buttons.

 

Why get upset on here that some may not agree with your lifestyle and choices?

[donnamaybe]

I don't understand why you're here. You're happy with 2 MM. Living your life and don't care what anybody says about it.. The thing is, when one posts, people will reply! Like what they say or not, MANY people are going to react.

 

Also, I'm sure if you walked into a room full of 300 people and announced you were having an affair with 2 married men and were proud of it, you wouldn't get warm round of applause from the crowd.

 

I'm just not fully understanding your purpose of posting, except to push buttons.

 

Why get upset on here that some may not agree with your lifestyle and choices?

Well, it was already announced that there is some kind of pride () in being sought after by two cheaters. Why, I don't know. However, it seems that it would follow, then, that there would be some kind of primal need to crow about it to anyone who'll listen. Doesn't it?

[greengoddess]

Well, it was already announced that there is some kind of pride () in being sought after by two cheaters. Why, I don't know. However, it seems that it would follow, then, that there would be some kind of primal need to crow about it to anyone who'll listen. Doesn't it?

 

 

See I don't get that though. Men are easy. I could walk out the door right now and within an hour be giving a married man a BJ if I wanted to.

[donnamaybe]

See I don't get that though. Men are easy. I could walk out the door right now and within an hour be giving a married man a BJ if I wanted to.

You know that, and I know that, but some folks base all of their self worth on being desired. I met a gal once when I was in the bathroom of a club with my girlfriend. She introduced herself like this: "I'm Brian's girlfriend!" all smiley and happy. No name. Just "Brian's girlfriend." Sad stuff.