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married and cheating with older man


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Need Advice or at least your thoughts: Been married 17 years to my high school sweetheart was pregnant. Have a beautiful grown 17 year old as a result. Also, have a wonderful 9 year old. My husband has "cheated" on me in the past. He has not slepted with another person but has gone as far as emotionally cheating several times with various co-workers. His last event was kissing a employee that he managed. She was married husband out of town I work the night shift and she came over while our children were sleeping for a few hours. Both admit it was only a kiss. This was a big issue ended our friendship circle, which resulted in marriage counseling and him leaving his job. Four years later I have found myself more confident and feeling better about myself. About 5 months ago a man in a circle of people we know persued me and we got to know each other. We are now having an affair which is totally out of character for me. I have only slepted with my husband and this man is only the 2nd man I have been with. There was an instant connection. Not a physical attraction on my part. He is 12 years older then I am and married. I don't want to leave my marriage because of my nine year old. Our relationship is not unkind and we don't fight much. The other guy has been married 21 years and I think he is happy to keep our relationship in the affair mode. I know if it continues we will get caught either by cell phone or someone seeing us in our community. But I don't want to stop. My real question is what do men think about having an affair? Is it purely sexual. I find myself wanting him choose me over his family even though I know we could never have a happy life. We would ruin to families.

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Unfortunately me and you are in similar situations. Let me give you a bit of the feedback I got: It is not fair when children are involved and if you want to continue this you both should end the relationships you are in before starting a new one. I find this is hard to do when a person has your heart. So like me you have to weigh the pros and cons and see how it comes out. I will tell you that in my situation I will not be second t his wife and we will probably reman "friends" until he leaves. I refuse to have sex w/ him.

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