The Bus Accident

[BurriedAlive]

I decided to contact xMM again because things just were not sitting well with me at all. Plus I still had his wedding ring and just wanted to get rid of it. I sent him a text last Thursday that said I missed him and that I just wanted to talk to him for closure. I wanted to be able to say him to him if we were to run into each other (which we did the day before in a drive-through. I pretended not to see him). Then I added "and what do you want done with your ring?" I got an immediate response "I will call you tonight."

 

So he calls me and cuts right to the chase: "Are you going to be up for a bit? I will come over and pick up my ring." Ummm, I don't think so. I really wasn't expecting him to say that at all. So I said that I wasn't comfortable with that and didn't want to see him. "Oh I understand that, you can just leave it on the step or whatever, just don't sling shot it at me." Again...lost for words. Then he says he will call me back, he had another call. A few minutes pass and he doesn't call back. At this point, I am PISSED. What a complete Prick. So I call him back and say "give me an address, I will mail it to you." He says: "leave it at the front desk at your work, I will pick it up tomorrow." I say that I do not want him coming over to my work. Then I say: "Maybe I should just mail to W." "Oh that's fine." "Ok, text me the address, and I will send it there." He is just about to hang up and said "What the heck is the matter with you??? Why couldn't you talk to me last week rather than breaking up with me over a text? That is really low." He said it was because of W. The night before he broke it off, he was over at my house and told me that W had a date that night. I asked him if it bothered him and he said it didn't. Hindsight of course tells me it drove him nuts. Then he tells me that she was still seeing this guy and he wants her back and that's why he broke up with me to figure things out. "I want her back, I just don't think that's going to happen. She is the one who called just now, she knows everything about you and I read her the text you sent tonight. She wants me to be mean to you but I can't do that. I have to be honest with her. She knows I am talking to you." I say "does she know you gave me your ring?" "Yes" Once again, lost for words. So I say well fine, if you do not want me to contact you ever again and to pretend I do not know you, that is fine. He said that makes him sad that he wants to be friends with me but W won't allow it. He said she won't let him be friends with any girls, especially not me. So I say fine, text me your address and I will mail your ring to you. Goodbye. He says goodbye and hangs up.

 

 

WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This guy has left her 3 times. He told me how he didn't love her, thought she was rather dumb and had nothing in common with her other than sex. He treated her (and me for that matter) like absolute dog crap, realizes that he will loose his kids and most of his money, gets jealous after 3 months of this garbage and decides to now be honest??? What a piece of work this one is. He tried to convince me when we started dating after the third time he left her, "papers" in hand, that he could have gave the marriage another try if I would agree to be his OW. I say "why would I want to be #2 in your life? Why would I want to sign up for a part-time secret boyfriend? I deserve WAY more than that, buddy." Well apparently he finally decided to come clean and try working on his married without me. I looked him up on FB last night and seen that his profile picture was changed to their wedding picture. PUKE, PUKE, PUKE.

 

Clearly, neither one of these idiots are very bright. What girl would accept to be treated like this? Not this one.

 

So he never did text me his address so I threw his ring in the garbage!!! I don't get that one. Why would he bother calling me back about his ring and then wouldn't give me an address to send it? Was it just an excuse to see me? If that was the case, you would think he wouldn't have told W about everything.

 

Sorry for the rant, I feel a little better now after getting it out. I can't wait to be past this disaster. They can have each other. A match made in hell. I will say one more thing though, this guy does not know what he is in for if he decides to contact me again.....

[NoIDidn't]

Buried....Buried

 

That phone call and text you initiated have definitely thickened the plot.

 

I'm sorry you are hurting.

 

I hope you can refrain from picking at the wound in the future.

[BurriedAlive]

Buried....Buried

 

That phone call and text you initiated have definitely thickened the plot.

 

I'm sorry you are hurting.

 

I hope you can refrain from picking at the wound in the future.

 

Yes, I have learned the hard way that picking causing bleeding!! lol

 

Why do you think it thickened the plot? In a lot of ways, it was what I needed to hear. I am happy to say that I have no plans of ever contacting him again. In the past, I would have tried by now.

[NoIDidn't]

The plot with the ring.

 

Initially, he told you to throw it away. You didn't.

 

He didn't know you still had it.

 

But after your call, he AND his W know that you have it.

 

But now that you are angry that he went back to her, you threw it away.

 

I don't think it was worth telling him you had the ring.

 

That, thickened the plot.

 

They could have legal grounds concerning their property. But it will be a convoluted tale to tell a judge and/or jury.

 

Be well, Buried. Glad to see that you will not call him again.

 

It wasn't worth it.

Edited September 15, 2010 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[PortuguesePrincess80]

I don't understand your intent on knowing "THEIR" address. Seems like your pissed off that you don't know where he lives. I don't know your story or care to read it but you mentioned his address at least 10 times in your post. Sorry but if this man wants nothing to do with you...and is more less trying to work things out with his wife..why would he give you his address?

 

Surely there are many other ways to return what isnt yours! You sound very bitter.

[pureinheart]

I don't understand your intent on knowing "THEIR" address. Seems like your pissed off that you don't know where he lives. I don't know your story or care to read it but you mentioned his address at least 10 times in your post. Sorry but if this man wants nothing to do with you...and is more less trying to work things out with his wife..why would he give you his address?

 

Surely there are many other ways to return what isnt yours! You sound very bitter.

 

I think the address thing was mentioned so much due to the context of the conversation between her MM...she asked him for it because she didn't want to see him as he wanted to come over as soon as he heard she still had the ring.

 

If I am wrong Burried, please correct me:).

[BurriedAlive]

The plot with the ring.

 

Initially, he told you to throw it away. You didn't.

 

He didn't know you still had it.

 

But after your call, he AND his W know that you have it.

 

But now that you are angry that he went back to her, you threw it away.

 

I don't think it was worth telling him you had the ring.

 

That, thickened the plot.

 

I hope they are the vindictive types. They could have legal grounds concerning their property. But it will be a convoluted tale to tell a judge and/or jury.

 

Be well, Buried. Glad to see that you will not call him again.

 

It wasn't worth it.

Oh I see. If he really wanted it back he would have sent me an address to mail it to (whether that be his, a friends or even a PO box for heaven's sake). I know what street they live on and I could drive the hour and find their house if I really wanted to. He told me where they lived when we were dating. I just did not have the proper street address to mail it nor the desire to put any effort into finding it.

 

In a way I think it was worth it. I got closure and I got that friggin' ring out of my house.

 

Now it's onward and upward. And believe there is no other way to go but up!

[pureinheart]

Hi Burried...wow girl, so sorry to hear about this mess. I too will be glad for you when it is but a distant memory, only to be thought of as you are sooo happy and glad that part of your life is gone!

 

Good luck girl, you deserve it!

[BurriedAlive]

I think the address thing was mentioned so much due to the context of the conversation between her MM...she asked him for it because she didn't want to see him as he wanted to come over as soon as he heard she still had the ring.

 

If I am wrong Burried, please correct me:).

 

You are 100% right...as usual Pure!

[BurriedAlive]

Hi Burried...wow girl, so sorry to hear about this mess. I too will be glad for you when it is but a distant memory, only to be thought of as you are sooo happy and glad that part of your life is gone!

 

Good luck girl, you deserve it!

 

Thanks. I always appreciate your support! I too cannot wait for this mess to be a little tiny dot in my rearview mirror. Luckily it has only been going on for a few months, not years. And I do not love this guy. I guess I have to be thankful dfor the little things.

[blizzard]

I don't think the W knows that you have it. Hence, not wanting to give address and wanting to "pick" it up. She probably intercepts the mail. Personally, I would have pawned it and got $10 bucks for it.

 

The whole papers in hand, I have been through. And I am sorry because I know how hurt you must feel to be strung along. Time invested. Time wasted. I understand. These kind of men have no conscience. The world revolves around their lives...and they suck in whoever and carelessly hurt others.

[whichwayisup]

He is indecisive and full of drama.

 

Anyway, whatever his reasons are for wanting to stay married, are his. Don't try to figure it out. He is all over the map and it's good he's out of your life.

 

You don't need him to give you closure because nothing he does or says will hold up to your expectations of what you want out of him.

 

Stay in NC and try your best to work through the loss, the pain and grieve it out of your system.

 

I bet it won't take too long before you'll be feeling good all the time, and you'll be over him quicker than you think.

[Skeery Skwurlz]

You should have sold it on eBay.

[tami-chan]

BA, sorry you are hurting. The ring is gone now, I am sure they have no claim to it..as it was yours since he gave it to you. So ring gone...and you got your closure. Time to work on getting over him. Very doable. Good luck!

[blizzard]

I forgot to mention: wow! his wife allows him to have a fb page after being in an affair... or even near a computer!?

[Silly_Girl]

I hope you get much strength from this. Hope you can see how lucky you are away from the drama and the upset. You've got your life back sweetie. Maybe you could do some celebrating at the weekend?

 

They have a messed-up, toxic relationship which consumes them and makes them miserable. You, on the other hand, do not. Ha!

[OWoman]

I don't understand your intent on knowing "THEIR" address. Seems like your pissed off that you don't know where he lives. I don't know your story or care to read it but you mentioned his address at least 10 times in your post. Sorry but if this man wants nothing to do with you...and is more less trying to work things out with his wife..why would he give you his address?

 

Surely there are many other ways to return what isnt yours! You sound very bitter.

 

Projection, much? If you can't be arsed to read someone's story but just want to come onto their thread to vent about your own issues, perhaps you should examine your own motives and cast the forest out of your own eye before worrying about splinters in anyone else's.

 

BA - I'm glad you're rid of that toxic ring and all it symbolised. Now you no longer have any reason to have anything to do with him at all - block him on FB and email, wipe his numbers off your phone and purge any other footprints he may have left on your life. Your life starts now!

 

(((((hugs)))))

[OWoman]

I hope they are the vindictive types. They could have legal grounds concerning their property.

 

Wow - that's pretty nasty! :sick:

 

They would have no grounds at all - since BA tried to return it and the MM refused to cooperate. If anything, the BW would have a claim against the MM's negligence, but BA's intent to return it is easily proven by the cellphone records and the culpability is clearly his for failing to comply with her request for an address (any address) to send it to.

 

Nice attempt to make someone who's feeling bad feel worse, though.... Bad night on BS street?

[pureinheart]

I hope they are the vindictive types. They could have legal grounds concerning their property. But it will be a convoluted tale to tell a judge and/or jury.

 

Be well, Buried. Glad to see that you will not call him again.

 

It wasn't worth it.

 

Wow - that's pretty nasty! :sick:

 

They would have no grounds at all - since BA tried to return it and the MM refused to cooperate. If anything, the BW would have a claim against the MM's negligence, but BA's intent to return it is easily proven by the cellphone records and the culpability is clearly his for failing to comply with her request for an address (any address) to send it to.

 

Nice attempt to make someone who's feeling bad feel worse, though.... Bad night on BS street?

 

In bold, I thought I had read that wrong...actually couldn't believe it...cops usually have real issues to deal with...I mean for real, this was actual thought process....

[TigerCub]

These kind of men have no conscience. The world revolves around their lives...and they suck in whoever and carelessly hurt others.

 

I completely agree with blizzard on that one - Mainly because I saw it in my MM.

I'll never understand how people like that do what they do

 

As for you SG - Good for you!!

You got your closure, you will not be taking that loser back and you got rid of the ring (Although you should have pawned it like I first suggested )

 

As far as that MM goes - I really don't see how he's going to be happy in his relationship, especially if his W is putting a short leash on him and telling him that he can't talk to ANY WOMEN period.

 

It wont be long before he's fed up again - but that's his problem, not yours.

 

I'm very happy for you for finally closing the door on that drama and moving on. I wish you all the best.

[2sure]

I cannot understand why he so badly wants his wife back since she has made him aware she is ready to move on and seeing someone else.

[Brokenlady]

I cannot understand why he so badly wants his wife back since she has made him aware she is ready to move on and seeing someone else.

 

It's classic "I only want what I can't have" stuff. Like that kid on the playground who had no interest in a ball before another kid picked it up and then he throws a tantrum.

[2sure]

Yes, of course...and he wants both as usual. He even went so far to ask BA if she would continue being OW while he worked on his marriage. At least he comes right out and says it.

[NoIDidn't]

I'm sure this won't work, but trying it anyway.

 

The line should have read "I hope they AREN'T the vindictive types". The typo, missed letters, really shouldn't read the way it does.

 

Sorry, BA. I can see my intention was completely changed with the wrong word and sidetracked your thread. My sincerest apologies.

[PortuguesePrincess80]

Projection, much? If you can't be arsed to read someone's story but just want to come onto their thread to vent about your own issues, perhaps you should examine your own motives and cast the forest out of your own eye before worrying about splinters in anyone else's.

 

BA - I'm glad you're rid of that toxic ring and all it symbolised. Now you no longer have any reason to have anything to do with him at all - block him on FB and email, wipe his numbers off your phone and purge any other footprints he may have left on your life. Your life starts now!

 

(((((hugs)))))

 

HAHAHAHA...vent about my OWN issues??? Seriously..get a life. I read and told her what I SAW she projected most on her post..which was HIS address. Nothing to prove to you lady..so whatever! Take it as you want.