MM Sugar Daddy -- Anyone do it?

[Chitowngirl]

When everyone on this forum talks about dating a married man, is it purely because you accidently fell in love with them and never because of a sugar daddy arrangement? I'm just curious to know if there's financial support involved with most married men, or if OW are in it strictly for the love of the MM?

[jennie-jennie]

Rekindled romance from teenage years.

[jj33]

The vast majority of the OWs who post on this forum are not kept mistresses.

[BlueeyedJonesy]

There are quite a few women on this very form who have posted about the expensive things the mm has bought for them. are those really the important details when your on a relationship advice website? nope. but to them..that measures/equals love for them...very shallow but true.

[Owl]

But on the other side of the coin, there is at least one who is a 'kept-mistress' by several MM. I'm surprised she's not jumped in on this one.

[reboot]

But on the other side of the coin, there is at least one who is a 'kept-mistress' by several MM. I'm surprised she's not jumped in on this one.

 

Careful....

[Brokenlady]

But on the other side of the coin, there is at least one who is a 'kept-mistress' by several MM. I'm surprised she's not jumped in on this one.

 

There was actually a second one not long ago, but I think she may have just been a drive by.

 

But no, most OW are not in it for any kind of financial gain. Those that are in it for money probably don't post here because they're happy with the arrangement. If you look around, it's thread after thread of pain. That's the pain of unrequited love, not an emoty bank account.

[joey66]

When everyone on this forum talks about dating a married man, is it purely because you accidently fell in love with them and never because of a sugar daddy arrangement? I'm just curious to know if there's financial support involved with most married men, or if OW are in it strictly for the love of the MM?

 

I think most OW and OM here fell in lurve. I'm not sure what accidentally means in this context or if it's appropriate. No doubt the attraction was unintentional, but we all had to make a decision to pursue it.

 

Any kept-OMs out there I wonder? (Good work if you can get it. )

[aerogurl87]

A sugar daddy/sugar baby arrangement isn't about love, at the most it's about friendship which usually involves sex. But once the money well runs dry most sugar babies move on. But that's the nature of the beast.

[2sure]

When I was OW I was a single working mother. I very much enjoyed the attention, affection, friendship of MM without having a full on relationship.

In turn, they enjoyed the same from me. Being a single woman who remained exclusive to a MM, available to his schedule, limited by his boundaries, etc...was an inconvenience. Had I been in a relationship with a single man I would have been going on vacations, had a partner to share financial and emotional expenses / burdens with. Since MM was unable to provide me with the things he was able to provide for his wife, or the things another partner may have provided for me...

 

He would show his concern and care for me the way he could...which usually entailed offering me some financial security. He did make my life easier and I appreciated it.

 

I had several relationships like this. I suppose they can fit the criteria of a sugar daddy thing...but for the most part they were the same as any kind of affair...the only real difference being that in most of the affairs I read about here, the single woman is the only one to make any sacrifice in the relationship. That, I cannot figure out.

[Owl]

Careful....

 

There was nothing wrong with my post. I named no names, pointed no fingers. It was within the published TOS.

 

If it earns me another suspension/banning, mee-ahm-hamn-nay-dah.

[reboot]

There was nothing wrong with my post. I named no names, pointed no fingers. It was within the published TOS.

 

If it earns me another suspension/banning, mee-ahm-hamn-nay-dah.

 

I know your post was fine, I was kinda trying to be funny. Apparently that was a big fat fail.

[Hazyhead]

My xMM was fairly wealthy, with a very good job, but money meant nothing to me; I always paid half for everything, or we took turns. The whole idea of relying on somebody to pay when you are more than capable yourself sickens me. For an OW to do it, I object, I know this sounds contradictory but it's another form of stealing in a way, I think, if he shares his funds with his wife.

[Spark1111]

My xMM was fairly wealthy, with a very good job, but money meant nothing to me; I always paid half for everything, or we took turns. The whole idea of relying on somebody to pay when you are more than capable yourself sickens me. For an OW to do it, I object, I know this sounds contradictory but it's another form of stealing in a way, I think, if he shares his funds with his wife.

 

Thank you for this!

 

The OW in our triangle was also a divorced mom of adequate means. When all the smoke cleared, he HAD spent substantial money on her; trips, limos, dinners, weekends away, and a rediculous cell phone bill.

 

And that is how I felt: That someone had helped to rob money that rightfully belonged to my children.

 

You cannot sue for adultery, but you can sue to regain one-half of all marital assets unknowing spent on another.

 

In my state, you can name both parties, your WS and the OW/OM in a civil suit to recoup those monies.

 

Don't think I haven't thought about this.

[JustJoe]

OP, if a woman/man is being paid for it, then you know what that makes her/him. You can call it anything you want to, Courtesan, mistress, escort, protege or golddigger, but one term fits all.

Edited May 10, 2010 by JustJoe

[OWoman]

The whole idea of relying on somebody to pay when you are more than capable yourself sickens me. For an OW to do it, I object, I know this sounds contradictory but it's another form of stealing in a way, I think, if he shares his funds with his wife.

 

Interestingly, none of my MMs did. Mostly because of the complications of first Ms and kids, but even those Ms that were first Ms, where the kids were mutual, the finances were still kept very separate, with each party contributing an agreed amount to a shared fund each month, and the rest belonging to the one who earned it... usually to protect the H's income from the compulsive shopping of spendthrift Ws!

 

Which got me thinking - was it having Ws who got their jollies from flexing their plastic rather than their loveglands that made those Hs (who'd never so much as glanced at another woman all their lives) amenable to the idea of an A when I hit on them? Finally, a woman who was interested in them for their bodies, and not just their bank balance?

 

(Sorry for the t/j)

 

Back on topic - no, I've never had a sugar daddy A. I did once have a R with a SG who thought he could buy me, but I got tired of that very quickly. My control is not for sale.

[jennie-jennie]

Which got me thinking - was it having Ws who got their jollies from flexing their plastic rather than their loveglands that made those Hs (who'd never so much as glanced at another woman all their lives) amenable to the idea of an A when I hit on them? Finally, a woman who was interested in them for their bodies, and not just their bank balance?

 

This is my experience too. Well, not only the bank balance but the whole concept of being a husband rather than an individual with a body to desire.

[JustJoe]

Also, OP, in this day and age, there are many men , who are being bank-rolled by their women. Is true equality, being able to buy your own sex partners?:laugh:

[Fallen Angel]

My sweetheart pays my cell bill, and buys groceries when he is here. He pays for small things like field-trips the kids go on, he buys me cigarettes, picks up milk or toilet paper, or laundry soap when he is on his way home to me from work and calls to ask what I need for him to pick up on his way. He buys me gifts for my birthday, christmas etc. It is a relationship, not a sugar-daddy arrangement. I do not expect him to pay my rent, or my powerbill, just as I would not expect that from a single man that I was dating. Though if I need money, all I have to do is ask. (Just as I would expect from a single guy I was dating *shrug*)

[JustJoe]

My ex-MW had her own apartment, and tons o'money so I didn't have to pay for much, but then again we weren't into the R for anything other than sex. After we began to have feelings for each other, I would pay for everything, just like a REAL BF would do.

[2sure]

Its all kind of relative. If he pays your cell phone bill, thats money. If he pays your rent, thats money too. Some BFs pay for dinner, some buy cars. Depends whats what.

 

If I care about someone, I like to do things to make their life easier - like cook him dinner, help with work, run some errands, a shoulder, a bj - whatever he might need and is within my ability. I expect the same. Since a MM is not in a position to do most things that a partner does to make his loved one's life easier...I see nothing wrong with accepting what he can offer easily, like a car, a vacation, jewelry, whatever.

 

As a BS, this would really bug me. I do resent the money my H spent on his affairs...only because at the time he was spending it he accused me of spending to much on family stuff. But the women he had affairs with were happy to just get dinner, so I cant feel like they took something further from me.

[bananalaffytaffy]

Its all kind of relative. If he pays your cell phone bill, thats money. If he pays your rent, thats money too. Some BFs pay for dinner, some buy cars. Depends whats what.

 

If I care about someone, I like to do things to make their life easier - like cook him dinner, help with work, run some errands, a shoulder, a bj - whatever he might need and is within my ability. I expect the same. Since a MM is not in a position to do most things that a partner does to make his loved one's life easier...I see nothing wrong with accepting what he can offer easily, like a car, a vacation, jewelry, whatever.

But 2sure, you didn't go after these MM specifically so they could support you financially, right? I think what the OP is asking is if anyone here has pursued a MM specifically for "an arrangement."

 

In college, I had a friend that was engaged to a dancer (stripper). She was a nice enough girl, just started dancing to put herself through school. One day, he came home and all her stuff was packed. She informed him that she had met someone "at work" who wanted "to take care of her". He never heard from her again. He was heartbroken. Took him years to get over her. I think she was "kept" for awhile, and then moved to a different town with better strip clubs to dance at. She never finished school.

 

That's my only experience with sugar daddies, sorry.

[joey66]

I think what the OP is asking is if anyone here has pursued a MM specifically for "an arrangement."

 

Or if the MM attempted to buy companionship? (I don't just mean a hooker, I mean he pursued the sugar daddy arrangement.)

 

MW was by no means a kept woman, but I had the overwhelming desire to buy her gifts.

[JustJoe]

I do agree that a lot of this is relative, but IMO if you are paying her rent and buying her autos, or giving her cash, then it's a little more than just an affair, it's a business arrangement. If all you are doing is paying for dinners, movies, theater tickets, etc, then that is what you would do in a normal relationship, and shouldn't be considered being a sugar daddy......Also, I would agree that the motive for the arrangement is also important.

[MizzBlue72]

When everyone on this forum talks about dating a married man, is it purely because you accidently fell in love with them and never because of a sugar daddy arrangement? I'm just curious to know if there's financial support involved with most married men, or if OW are in it strictly for the love of the MM?

 

Absolutely NO financial support on this end. I have some of my morals left - although not many. Plus - he would laugh in my face if I asked him.

We started out as NSA affair ... didn't work very well. I love him, and he loves me. I would support him though ... if I knew that he needed it since he doesn't and would never ask, I guess that part is moot.