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Unwilling secret mistress


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I've been with my ex for nearly 3 years and its been one rollercoaster ride.

 

We broke up on NYE 2009 but subsequently got back together. I thought we were happy, we'll see each other a couple of times a week and he'll call me every night and I felt loved. One weird thing was that I never met his friend or family but I thought it was because he was on bad terms with his family and that he's a private person.

 

I've recently found out that during our breakup in NYE he got himself a new girlfriend...and they've been dating ever since. He brings her to family events - they go on holidays together (whilst he tells me he's on work trips).

 

The other girl never knew about me...and I've never spoken to my ex ever since I found out...

 

but I can't get myself to stop thinking. Why...why did he contact me after the 09 breakup? He asked me to elope with him and I refused and broke up with him....then he asked me to get back together with him...but he already had a girlfriend.

 

Why did I become the secret mistress?

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Because most men want to have their cake and eat it too. She's the better long term choice and the better one to have around the family, you're the piece hidden away who gives him attention when he has time for it and wants it. Pretty simple really.

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Am I assuming correctly that he started up with the girlfriend after he asked you to elope ? The only reason I ask, is that things would seem different if he asked you to elope while he had the other girlfriend.

 

Other posters are correct... He considers the girlfriend as more long term - and men want their cake and eat it too .. But I do think there must be something lacking in a relationship (as he and the girlfriend) if he still wishes to be with you ..

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Am I assuming correctly that he started up with the girlfriend after he asked you to elope ? The only reason I ask, is that things would seem different if he asked you to elope while he had the other girlfriend.

 

Other posters are correct... He considers the girlfriend as more long term - and men want their cake and eat it too .. But I do think there must be something lacking in a relationship (as he and the girlfriend) if he still wishes to be with you ..

 

He asked me to elope with him before he started the relationship with his girlfriend - but he talked about moving in with him and getting married after he started with his girlfriend. Makes me wonder if the whole eloping thing was all bull**** too.

 

That being said the week before I found out he was cheating, I said something really hurtful during an argument which made him have an emotional break down. I wish I had the power to read minds so I can get some "closure" and move on.

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I've been with my ex for nearly 3 years and its been one rollercoaster ride.

 

 

The other girl never knew about me...and I've never spoken to my ex ever since I found out...

 

It is best that you have not spoken to him since you found out .. Try to go on with your life the best you can .. He knows where you are - and he should know also, that he has treated you badly ..

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