Finally the end of the drama!

[hopeless4u]

So the last I knew xMM had moved out and was getting his head straight, he still needed to know how he felt and if there was anything left to save in his M.

Contact was wishy washy at best. He'd come into work and drop me 'bits' in conversation about how he'd taken the PC from his W as she was on the verge of 'meltdown' checking my myspace (i've set it to private but some things you can still see).

 

I've been out and about with friends, I won't lie, he has been on my mind but when i've needed to vent its been on here. He has know idea how I'm feeling inside because I've tried not to show it, I've told him that he has given me no choice but to move on and thats what I'm trying to do.

 

I've booked a holiday to Vegas in 10 weeks with my best friends and I have been out with friends for the last 4 weekends and again away this weekend so I'm getting there.

 

So today, we had to work together, I asked if he'd moved back home and after some tooth pulling he finally said yes.....ouch!!

 

I've always said he'd go back and if he did this time then that would be my final kick to let go....I have!!!

 

I have told him that we can't be friends, not even at work. He has chosen to be with his W and that means complete NC with me, including work as I will not lie to her if she rings me. I know he would of kept our 'work' friendship if I'd of let him.

 

It was a very hard conversation and I'm hurting at the thought of seeing him at work but never speaking to him but thats his choice and I have to deal with that.

 

I'm not really sure how I expected this to end, I think I always knew he'd end up with his W and if he's happy then thats good but the thought of loosing him as a friend (i know some will say he was never a friend).

 

Just need some hugs I guess....

[Hazyhead]

So the last I knew xMM had moved out and was getting his head straight, he still needed to know how he felt and if there was anything left to save in his M.

Contact was wishy washy at best. He'd come into work and drop me 'bits' in conversation about how he'd taken the PC from his W as she was on the verge of 'meltdown' checking my myspace (i've set it to private but some things you can still see).

 

I've been out and about with friends, I won't lie, he has been on my mind but when i've needed to vent its been on here. He has know idea how I'm feeling inside because I've tried not to show it, I've told him that he has given me no choice but to move on and thats what I'm trying to do.

 

I've booked a holiday to Vegas in 10 weeks with my best friends and I have been out with friends for the last 4 weekends and again away this weekend so I'm getting there.

 

So today, we had to work together, I asked if he'd moved back home and after some tooth pulling he finally said yes.....ouch!!

 

I've always said he'd go back and if he did this time then that would be my final kick to let go....I have!!!

 

I have told him that we can't be friends, not even at work. He has chosen to be with his W and that means complete NC with me, including work as I will not lie to her if she rings me. I know he would of kept our 'work' friendship if I'd of let him.

 

It was a very hard conversation and I'm hurting at the thought of seeing him at work but never speaking to him but thats his choice and I have to deal with that.

 

I'm not really sure how I expected this to end, I think I always knew he'd end up with his W and if he's happy then thats good but the thought of loosing him as a friend (i know some will say he was never a friend).

 

Just need some hugs I guess....

 

Throwing loads of hugs your way H4U. But, good for you, even though I know it hurts right now. It will be hard to see him at work (I can't imagine how I'd crumble in that situation) but every day you will get stronger and stronger. Great news on the hols! SO jealous

 

One thing though - I very much doubt he is happy at home. Not right now. Maybe one day... sure, but not yet.

[ladydesigner]

You sound like you are getting on just fine;) Great that you are surrounded by wonderful friends and that you now have the closure you needed.

 

I am sorry you have to work with XMM that would make things somewhat difficult and I agree with you that NC is the only way.

 

I know he would of kept our 'work' friendship if I'd of let him.

 

Yeah I will never understand this. I remember after my XOM ended things and said he wanted to remain friends, I had always taken it that he still had feelings for me and that maybe he would want to start things up again, but I realize now that it was probably for him to feel less guilty for ending things with me. I don't really understand the motivation behind keeping up a friendship with someone you still have feelings for. I don't think the two go hand in hand.

 

Anyways you sound like you are in a great place with your life at the moment and are moving forward. You have found acceptance and can now start to heal.

 

(((hopeless4u)))

[hopeless4u]

Throwing loads of hugs your way H4U. But, good for you, even though I know it hurts right now. It will be hard to see him at work (I can't imagine how I'd crumble in that situation) but every day you will get stronger and stronger. Great news on the hols! SO jealous

 

One thing though - I very much doubt he is happy at home. Not right now. Maybe one day... sure, but not yet.

 

He'll stay away from me at work I'm sure.

 

I just said he'd made it quite plain that he was willing to live without me in his life by choosing to go back home and that was all I needed to know and that included work.

He just said if thats what you want then ok but I wish we could be friends one day.

It does hurt but in my heart I know I'll be happy eventually, he won't. I've done everything I can to show him a different path, he's made his decision and thats just the way it is now.

 

Some people have a backbone, some don't. At least I know I'll have no regrets....

[hopeless4u]

You sound like you are getting on just fine;) Great that you are surrounded by wonderful friends and that you now have the closure you needed.

 

I am sorry you have to work with XMM that would make things somewhat difficult and I agree with you that NC is the only way.

 

 

 

Yeah I will never understand this. I remember after my XOM ended things and said he wanted to remain friends, I had always taken it that he still had feelings for me and that maybe he would want to start things up again, but I realize now that it was probably for him to feel less guilty for ending things with me. I don't really understand the motivation behind keeping up a friendship with someone you still have feelings for. I don't think the two go hand in hand.

 

Anyways you sound like you are in a great place with your life at the moment and are moving forward. You have found acceptance and can now start to heal.

 

(((hopeless4u)))

 

 

My friends are fantastic although most would stick a plastic fork in xMM eye if they had the chance!! haha

 

I'll be fine, just needed to get it out I guess.

 

Like I said, I'll be happy eventually, he won't and this I know for sure.

[hopeless4u]

I think xMM who want to "be friends" just want an "in" to possibly restarting the relationship. It's the same selfish nonsense that made them start the A in the first place. They certainly don't want to be "friends" for your benefit.

 

Good for you H4U! You'll be just fine.

 

In my case xMM wanted to be friends to make his guilt feel better. I think he felt if he was friends with me at work he wasn't actually lying to his W but he was getting his 'fix' at the same time as thinking he was doing the right thing by me....he got what he needed, on his terms...same as he always did!

It was never about restarting the A because he knew I would never go there but it wasn't the relationship that we were addicted to it was the friendship, thats what made it so hard.

 

I'm good, just needed that final kick I guess:o

[Hazyhead]

In my case xMM wanted to be friends to make his guilt feel better. I think he felt if he was friends with me at work he wasn't actually lying to his W but he was getting his 'fix' at the same time as thinking he was doing the right thing by me....he got what he needed, on his terms...same as he always did!

It was never about restarting the A because he knew I would never go there but it wasn't the relationship that we were addicted to it was the friendship, thats what made it so hard.

 

I'm good, just needed that final kick I guess:o

 

You do seem good H4U. You've taken a few knocks recently, more than a few, and this is the most positive I think I've seen you after a hurtful encounter with him. This is a good sign.

 

I'm proud of you

[Confused4Now]

So today, we had to work together, I asked if he'd moved back home and after some tooth pulling he finally said yes.....ouch!!

Why even go there? I mean seriously...if it was over it's over. I wouldn't want to know if my AP was sleeping with MP. Screw that.....he obviously made a choice and you weren't it or he'd be at your doorsteps and sleeping with you every night. NC is the best way to go and I can assure you he'll be back. Trying to reel you back in.

 

But don't take him in until he's READY if he ever is ready. UGH!!!

[Fallen Angel]

My friends are fantastic although most would stick a plastic fork in xMM eye if they had the chance!! haha

 

I'll be fine, just needed to get it out I guess.

 

Like I said, I'll be happy eventually, he won't and this I know for sure.

 

AAAAAAAAAAAhahahahahaha! I see my plastic fork in the eyeball fantasy for people that need it is catching on..

 

(((((((((((((((((((((hugs for you Hope)))))))))))))))))))))))))

[hopeless4u]

You do seem good H4U. You've taken a few knocks recently, more than a few, and this is the most positive I think I've seen you after a hurtful encounter with him. This is a good sign.

 

I'm proud of you

 

TBH HH, I'm feeling pretty sh*t, cried more than a few tears but I think that was expected. I've had a few e mail friends I've poured it out to and that helped.

I think its more the fool I've been than the outcome thats upset me...oh and the red wine I opened...ouch!

 

I am ok, just needed to get it off my chest I guess....

 

Thank you for being proud, I'll try to live up to that:o xx

[hopeless4u]

AAAAAAAAAAAhahahahahaha! I see my plastic fork in the eyeball fantasy for people that need it is catching on..

 

(((((((((((((((((((((hugs for you Hope)))))))))))))))))))))))))

 

 

Ha Ha....I did think of you when I mentioned the plastic fork!!!!

 

I want one!!!

 

Thanks for the hugs xx

[Hazyhead]

TBH HH, I'm feeling pretty sh*t, cried more than a few tears but I think that was expected. I've had a few e mail friends I've poured it out to and that helped.

I think its more the fool I've been than the outcome thats upset me...oh and the red wine I opened...ouch!

 

I am ok, just needed to get it off my chest I guess....

 

Thank you for being proud, I'll try to live up to that:o xx

 

Hey you! You are living up to it! I understand the sadness, really, and I'm glad you're pouring that out too but you're more definite this time. I can sense a change in you and it will grow stronger and stronger, I know it. Don't think of yourself as a fool, H4U; you have been no more a fool than any of us (well... me ) and as your strength grows you'll realise that the real fool is him.

 

((((((H4U))))))

[hopeless4u]

Why even go there? I mean seriously...if it was over it's over. I wouldn't want to know if my AP was sleeping with MP. Screw that.....he obviously made a choice and you weren't it or he'd be at your doorsteps and sleeping with you every night. NC is the best way to go and I can assure you he'll be back. Trying to reel you back in.

 

But don't take him in until he's READY if he ever is ready. UGH!!!

 

I won't be taking him back....he's made his choice and thats a life without me in it and as much as that hurts its HIS final choice.

[hopeless4u]

Hey you! You are living up to it! I understand the sadness, really, and I'm glad you're pouring that out too but you're more definite this time. I can sense a change in you and it will grow stronger and stronger, I know it. Don't think of yourself as a fool, H4U; you have been no more a fool than any of us (well... me ) and as your strength grows you'll realise that the real fool is him.

 

((((((H4U))))))

 

You know what HH, I am more definite this time, I've had my tears, time for the real me to kick in!!

 

Ha Ha....yes the fool is him!!! I'm the one that got away:cool: and I'm hot, fun and just mother fu*kin fantastic:laugh:

 

Watch out Vegas in 10 weeks!!:cool:

 

Thanks HH xxx

[Tashcw]

H4u - am SO proud of you! In a similar situation to me and sounds as though you're holding up so well. Keep strong!

[Angel1111]

I can understand asking him this question because it was something you needed to know. It gave you closure and there's no more half hanging onto hope. I would feel exactly as you do - that's the end of it. He's made his choice. Time to move on. I know it hurts but you'll probably start feeling better sooner than you expect. Hugs.