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s on the outside looking in. what would you do.


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my husband is taking his personal belongings and moving out of state. my son and his wife are living in my house. my husband left today. i was thinking of moving back into the house so my son and and his wife and kids can live in a a home versus an apt. i told my mm today what i was thinking of, and asked him what he would do. then my concern is also my animals. my 2 dogs. my mm said don't do it, i would loose my freedom so top speak. he is right in the sense he could never come to my home, sleep over, i could never cook for him, or pick me up. my son would never allow it.i would be giving up everything i have worked for. what would you do.

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moaningmyrtle
my husband is taking his personal belongings and moving out of state. my son and his wife are living in my house. my husband left today. i was thinking of moving back into the house so my son and and his wife and kids can live in a a home versus an apt. i told my mm today what i was thinking of, and asked him what he would do. then my concern is also my animals. my 2 dogs. my mm said don't do it, i would loose my freedom so top speak. he is right in the sense he could never come to my home, sleep over, i could never cook for him, or pick me up. my son would never allow it.i would be giving up everything i have worked for. what would you do.

 

 

Hmm - it sounds to me as if your MM's main concern is that he would lose his freedom and that he would be giving up everything you have worked for. :eek:

 

What would I do? I think I'd like him to work a bit harder for us. ;)

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my husband is taking his personal belongings and moving out of state. my son and his wife are living in my house. my husband left today. i was thinking of moving back into the house so my son and and his wife and kids can live in a a home versus an apt. i told my mm today what i was thinking of, and asked him what he would do. then my concern is also my animals. my 2 dogs. my mm said don't do it, i would loose my freedom so top speak. he is right in the sense he could never come to my home, sleep over, i could never cook for him, or pick me up. my son would never allow it.i would be giving up everything i have worked for. what would you do.

 

Not make life decisions as if his opinion mattered because I can guarantee you that it doesn't work that way both ways.

 

He and his W aren't consulting you on such decisions.

 

Thing of yourself and your dogs primarily, not your availability to MM.

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Do what is best for you, not what is easiest for your MM and how you two spend time together. Boo hoo-hoo, so he can't spend the night anymore. If you two need to spend a night together, go to a hotel. To change your whole life around to please your MM is nuts. But, if it's what you want to do, just keep in mind HE isn't going to do much changing in HIS life to suit you. Remember, he'll see you on HIS time frame, HIS terms, not yours.

 

Good luck Willow.

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i wanted to clarify somethings. when i said about mm coming to my home, and the lack of freedom. it's in the context of i would loose my freedom i worked for if i wanted him there, or any date. not that he comes over to my home now, i always go to his. reason being is because his home is a lot more comfortable. he says i would be stepping backwards, when I have worked so hard to get where i am by myself. i moved out on my own, no prompts from him, and eventually have been able to retain a lawyer.

 

recap one more time. he thinks i would be moving backwards, not foward.

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i wanted to clarify somethings. when i said about mm coming to my home, and the lack of freedom. it's in the context of i would loose my freedom i worked for if i wanted him there, or any date. not that he comes over to my home now, i always go to his. reason being is because his home is a lot more comfortable. he says i would be stepping backwards, when I have worked so hard to get where i am by myself. i moved out on my own, no prompts from him, and eventually have been able to retain a lawyer.

 

recap one more time. he thinks i would be moving backwards, not foward.

 

Willow, I don't think should see it as stepping backwards or forwards. Right now you need to be somewhere where you feel comfortable and at ease. Be where you want to be, regardless of what MM thinks. Most importantly, what do you think?

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my husband is taking his personal belongings and moving out of state. my son and his wife are living in my house. my husband left today. i was thinking of moving back into the house so my son and and his wife and kids can live in a a home versus an apt. i told my mm today what i was thinking of, and asked him what he would do. then my concern is also my animals. my 2 dogs. my mm said don't do it, i would loose my freedom so top speak. he is right in the sense he could never come to my home, sleep over, i could never cook for him, or pick me up. my son would never allow it.i would be giving up everything i have worked for. what would you do.

 

Who is the parent here? Whose home is it?

 

If you want to share your home with your son and his family, it should be on YOUR terms, not his!

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my husband is taking his personal belongings and moving out of state. my son and his wife are living in my house. my husband left today. i was thinking of moving back into the house so my son and and his wife and kids can live in a a home versus an apt. i told my mm today what i was thinking of, and asked him what he would do. then my concern is also my animals. my 2 dogs. my mm said don't do it, i would loose my freedom so top speak. he is right in the sense he could never come to my home, sleep over, i could never cook for him, or pick me up. my son would never allow it.i would be giving up everything i have worked for. what would you do.

 

 

IMO, if you can afford to keep YOUR home then keep it. Long ago when I left my xH I lost everything. My emotions told me to walk away and I did (he had a fling I couldn't get over), although I don't regret ending the M, I do regret loosing everything I had worked for and having to start all over again( I was the main earner).

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