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What will Keep the OW Happy??


cassiecharlie

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cassiecharlie

Im a MM and shes in a 3 year relationshio but not married but we have been seeing each other for 4 months now and I want to keep her happy. Ladies, what keeps you happy in a affair with a MM??

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Wow didn't you just post??? To keep an OW happy is to keep the A alive and maybe even have to end your marriage for them. This is not an easy process.

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Im a MM and shes in a 3 year relationshio but not married but we have been seeing each other for 4 months now and I want to keep her happy. Ladies, what keeps you happy in a affair with a MM??

 

What did she say when you asked her

"How do I keep you happy in this Affair?"

 

Seems the easiest way to me...

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Ladies, what keeps you happy in a affair with a MM??

 

Knowing that you were going to end the marriage for her, likely.

 

Are you planning to get divorced?

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how to keep her happy? stay away...

 

let her go free to find an available man who can love her completely in the open - free from secrecy! otherwise you are being selfish by taking her time and energy she should give to a man that is available to love her without all the crap an affair brings to her.

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how to keep her happy? stay away...

 

let her go free to find an available man who can love her completely in the open - free from secrecy! otherwise you are being selfish by taking her time and energy she should give to a man that is available to love her without all the crap an affair brings to her.

 

You are so right!! If I could do it all over again I would run for the hills. I accidentally fell in love and have been for 8 years while short changing my long-term 5 year relationship w/my BF and being heartbroken for someone I will never have. I will be 30 at the end of the year and I don't want to add anymore time to that 8 year period...I don't want to be 40 and still in love with him. I just wish they had memory deletion just like Men in Black!

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You are so right!! If I could do it all over again I would run for the hills. I accidentally fell in love and have been for 8 years while short changing my long-term 5 year relationship w/my BF and being heartbroken for someone I will never have. I will be 30 at the end of the year and I don't want to add anymore time to that 8 year period...I don't want to be 40 and still in love with him. I just wish they had memory deletion just like Men in Black!

 

then change things... make a decision to be sure to date an available man who makes you his top priority!

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I can relate with you southern Lady.. I too accidentally fell in love with a MM. Its been 5 years..I wish there was a way to fall out of love with him..He consumes me...not to mention all my friends and family think I'm a Nun..they don't know about him.. It's a dirty little secret. I was brutalized in another thread as being an airhead, low self esteem ect...I hope to find some kind of support..Its not easy.. and it isn't just about sex..like most people think. As far as keeping the OW happy, leaving the wife would be ideal, but if that is not possible, treat her with respect and appreciate her for all she is scarificing in her life.. Thanks for listening..xo S

Edited by stella79
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bentnotbroken

You don't accidentally fall in love with anyone. You have to feed that feelings of attraction and then you have to act on those feelings. Nothing accidental about that at all. It is a choice that you made. Make the choice to fall out of love, married people do it all the time.

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You don't accidentally fall in love with anyone. You have to feed that feelings of attraction and then you have to act on those feelings. Nothing accidental about that at all. It is a choice that you made. Make the choice to fall out of love, married people do it all the time.

 

It's called 'falling' in love because there is no control over it. If there were it would be I went into a controlled descent into love. Falling is by nature something you do by accident.

 

You also don't make the choice to fall out of love...it normally happens over time with all sorts of issues playing a part. I think that is as accidental as falling in love.

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Sorry I didn't answer the original post.

 

Honesty...if she's not something you consider a long term option one day then let her know. If you have no intention of leaving home then let her know.

 

If she walks away after hearing those things then let her go.

 

My MM has been completely honest with me and it has made it easier to focus on the fact I have a life outside him...he has never promised me anything and the decision to stay has always been left with me because of it. I realize that is not the situation in most cases.

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bentnotbroken
It's called 'falling' in love because there is no control over it. If there were it would be I went into a controlled descent into love. Falling is by nature something you do by accident.

 

You also don't make the choice to fall out of love...it normally happens over time with all sorts of issues playing a part. I think that is as accidental as falling in love.

 

 

It's called feeding the feelings of attraction and infatuation. And yes it does happen over time, meaning those feelings don't have to be acted on or fed. It is a choice not to attend to the marriage over a period of time so it is a choice to fall out of love. As you are in one of these situations, you and I won't agree at all. You accidentally let your emotions take control, I intentionally don't. You and I both made a choice, just two different ones.

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It's called feeding the feelings of attraction and infatuation. And yes it does happen over time, meaning those feelings don't have to be acted on or fed. It is a choice not to attend to the marriage over a period of time so it is a choice to fall out of love. As you are in one of these situations, you and I won't agree at all. You accidentally let your emotions take control, I intentionally don't. You and I both made a choice, just two different ones.

 

You're right...we'll never agree because of our circumstances and that's fine.

 

I actually do disagree with the choice...I've fallen in love twice and there is not a thing I could have done to stop it. I may have been able to remove myself from the situations, but I was still in love. I did nurture them both and I have no regrets about either.

 

It could be I haven't yet mastered the fine art of emotion control in some aspects of my life.

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I know this OP hasn't been around in a while, but the title of this thread kept jumping out at me.

 

He asks "What will keep the OW happy?" and all I see...is...."What will keep the OW happy staying the OW for me"?

 

Nothing in his OP suggested that he was ever even considering getting a divorce. But if he did get a divorce, that would mean she was no longer the OW, and it doesn't seem like he is interested in changing her status, just her happiness.

 

My two cents.

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But if he did get a divorce' date=' that would mean she was no longer the OW[/quote']

 

Oh? That necessarily follows? Funny - I've had MMs D and it didn't stop me being the OW... until I chose to stop :)

 

It's not ALL about the MM, you know :p

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Oh? That necessarily follows? Funny - I've had MMs D and it didn't stop me being the OW... until I chose to stop :)

 

It's not ALL about the MM, you know :p

 

Oh, I know that. I just don't think the OP has thought that far. That was my point. LOL.

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