NEVERINTENDEDTHIS Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 I wish I could just move beyond my affair and get over the MM. It seems like it will never happen. We have very LC and most of the time very short text messages. I just wish I could go NC and that be that. Any suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
jwi71 Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 It will continue as long as YOU allow it. At the risk of pointing out the obvious, why on Earth are you sending him txt messages if you are trying to end it? It only prolongs the pain. And forget closure. You won't get everything answered or said or done and wrapped up with a tidy little bow on top. Block his number, block his email and IM, delete the history and MOVE ON. Or keep "LC" and hating this. Choose. Link to post Share on other sites
hopeless4u Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 I wish I could just move beyond my affair and get over the MM. It seems like it will never happen. We have very LC and most of the time very short text messages. I just wish I could go NC and that be that. Any suggestions? Oh hunny I feel your pain. This time last week I was still in LC with xMM, we work together so it seemed easier I guess. He still phoned me pretty much every day and I was like 'its ok, I can handle this' He has just thrown me under a bus for the second time to save his own arse, yet again. What he has done this time has finally got me so angry I am strong enough to tell him to just F**k Off out of my life but I think YOU need to live this and find that strength yourself. Everybody, friends, family and here on LS tried to tell me but until you truly feel it in your heart for yourself you won't listen...I didn't. You will get there but until you do....BIG ((hugs)) to you. x Link to post Share on other sites
Author NEVERINTENDEDTHIS Posted February 3, 2010 Author Share Posted February 3, 2010 H4U Thank you so much for your kind words. I know I have read so many of your post and I can't imagine what you are going through we all go through different things but we are all a lot alike also. Hugs to you too. I have to just do what I feel I need to do. I have gotten mad so many times and I continue to let him do and treat me anyway he wants to . I wish I knew exactly what it was that makes me feel the way I do. Hugs back to you sweety! Link to post Share on other sites
hopeless4u Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 H4U Thank you so much for your kind words. I know I have read so many of your post and I can't imagine what you are going through we all go through different things but we are all a lot alike also. Hugs to you too. I have to just do what I feel I need to do. I have gotten mad so many times and I continue to let him do and treat me anyway he wants to . I wish I knew exactly what it was that makes me feel the way I do. Hugs back to you sweety! Yep again, me too....he has sucked me back in so many times, guess this time with the texts form his W all the time, maybe I'm beginning to put 2 and 2 together....he tells her what she needs to hear and does exactly the same to me, its just took me a while to get there. You will get there I promise, just in your own time. Like I said no one can make you see it, you have to see it in your own time, by yourself. For me it was like a lightbulb moment in my sleep, I woke up yesterday morning and was like WTF!! Just the night before I was sobbing, really sobbing, thinking I'd gone all the way back to how I felt on DDay. He will do something, right out of the blue that will just trigger that moment...trust me, he will:) Keep strong hunny, ((hugs))x You will be fine. Link to post Share on other sites
silverplanets Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 I wish I could just move beyond my affair and get over the MM. It seems like it will never happen. We have very LC and most of the time very short text messages. I just wish I could go NC and that be that. Any suggestions? Apologies in advance but haven't read any of your back posts and don't know story detail. All I can say from experience is that NC was the best thing for me. It hurt loads, was (and still is) difficult at times, but it forced (and allowed) me to concentrate on me and me alone. The key seems to be to really be clear youself that it is over ... For me this came down to saying "no D papers, no relationship" and that's that ... It took me a long time to get to something so damn simple and obvious, however, once there I found I was liberated. I wasn't criticising them or standing on their rights, I was just standing on my own two feet and making MY boundry clear. Once I was clear on my boundry then everything else just followed ... I'm almost 4 months now and when I look back on how far I've come and what i've achieved in my own life by using the old "drama time" for something more positive then I am really pleased Good luck :) Link to post Share on other sites
blinded Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 Being strict NC for 2 months and nearly breaking it today, I would say that it is a little easier knowing where I stand. In terms of how long it would take to get beyond this? I would like to know that answer as well. Wouldn't it be nice have the magic 8 ball tell us the answer? Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 I have been NC with my xOM 6 months today (out of A for over a year and a half) and while most the time I am strong and feel great. I still get moments here or there when I miss him, today is one of those days... *sigh* Link to post Share on other sites
fooled once Posted February 4, 2010 Share Posted February 4, 2010 I wish I could just move beyond my affair and get over the MM. It seems like it will never happen. We have very LC and most of the time very short text messages. I just wish I could go NC and that be that. Any suggestions? You CAN do it. You just have to have willpower and a desire to do it. Until you have that, you will continue the dance. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NEVERINTENDEDTHIS Posted February 4, 2010 Author Share Posted February 4, 2010 Thank you for all the support! NO one knows what your going through until you have walked in those shoes also. I know to some people this may not seem like much but I've made so far with NC!! Usually I email him in the morning and through out the day and as of yet I haven't! I will keep on posting and I hope to keep being strong. Link to post Share on other sites
Jeff1962 Posted February 4, 2010 Share Posted February 4, 2010 One of the hardest things for a person to do is to admit failure, this is human nature. I do not mean that you are a failure in any way. I mean that people have a hard time with not being the winner or getting what they want or need. Does that make sense? Leave him alone. He is married, his is married, he is married. You deserve better than this crap. You need to also realize that this is not just effecting you and your MM but his family as well. What about his family? Link to post Share on other sites
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