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Question on NC...


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Started NC with MM Friday afternoon. We've tried this several times before when I was still living with my xH and it was pure hell and I was miserable. MM was miserable too and we ended up breaking it soon thereafter - I think 2 weeks was the longest we could go.

 

This time it hasn't been as bad and I'm thinking maybe it's the fact that I am no longer living with xH. I wonder if missing MM in the past during NC was just that much amplified by having to live in the same house with someone I didn't want to be with anyway during the NC.

 

I would have personally thought this weekend would have been really hard being home alone and all, but I've been able to keep my mind of him quite well.

 

So has anyone else experienced the same thing or am I just in the early stages of NC and the pain hasn't quite hit yet? I know going back to work tomorrow will be hard as it's always a habit for us to talk first thing every morning after we get to work.

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Maybe you're actually letting go, coming to the realisation that there might be more out there for you than just him? NC is different for me this time too, but I think, for me, it's because I finally had enough... enough of the waiting, the empty promises, the dregs of his time... everything. I realise now that I want more than he can give me. Do I miss him? Yes, but, actually, I feel liberated, and it's good :)

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Maybe you're actually letting go, coming to the realisation that there might be more out there for you than just him? NC is different for me this time too, but I think, for me, it's because I finally had enough... enough of the waiting, the empty promises, the dregs of his time... everything. I realise now that I want more than he can give me. Do I miss him? Yes, but, actually, I feel liberated, and it's good :)

 

You know I think you may be right. I think I'm just a little fed up too of the empty promises, lack of real action on his part, etc. I guess when we were both married these things may have been more "acceptable" because we were both in the same boat. But since I've moved on, I've realized that I don't want to just be a side item and be made a fool of by him continuing to drag me along while he cake eats.

 

I've finally come to the realization that I've done all I can do to in this relationship and for it to ever go forward he has to make the remaining moves (get out, file papers, etc.).

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Maybe you're actually letting go, coming to the realisation that there might be more out there for you than just him? NC is different for me this time too, but I think, for me, it's because I finally had enough... enough of the waiting, the empty promises, the dregs of his time... everything. I realise now that I want more than he can give me. Do I miss him? Yes, but, actually, I feel liberated, and it's good :)

 

And glad you are doing so well!!

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You know I think you may be right. I think I'm just a little fed up too of the empty promises, lack of real action on his part, etc. I guess when we were both married these things may have been more "acceptable" because we were both in the same boat. But since I've moved on, I've realized that I don't want to just be a side item and be made a fool of by him continuing to drag me along while he cake eats.

 

I've finally come to the realization that I've done all I can do to in this relationship and for it to ever go forward he has to make the remaining moves (get out, file papers, etc.).

 

Crazy, I wish you the best of luck in continuing in it because if this is the case then I think it can only get better and better. That's exactly how I felt - that I'd done all I can, far more than him, and it still wasn't what I wanted so I had to get out. You're right to leave it up to him now. If he breaks free and goes through the necessary steps to be with you - fantastic, but if he doesnt - he's not worth your affection; there'll be somebody better.

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