Cannot move past feelings of humiliation

[ladydesigner]

Most here know my story and my A has been over for quite some time. I have even been in NC for 5 months (I initiated this as we were friends and were in LC). Anyways I do not want my xOM or the A but I still cannot move past his humiliating words to me upon the ending of the A. I want to move on from this but I am still haunted by the ending. Most likely I will need to discuss this with a counselor. How have some of you moved on? Are you still haunted by hurtful words years later.

 

What my xOM said should not matter to me anymore. I guess I still cannot believe what a fool I was for believing anything he had to say to me. That is exactly the word of how I feel FOOLISH.

[whichwayisup]

Definately a good idea to go talk to a therapist...it'll only help you recover and work through everything you've been feeling.

 

Sorry he's been such a dik to you..

[fooled once]

Not trying to be nosy, but what did he say -- I just researched your posts and the only thing I could see was that he said you were 'too old" for him as you are 13 years older than him and he was 21 and you 34 when you had the month long affair.

 

If I read correctly, it ended last June..... are you sure you are hung up on him (since the affair was so short lived and it has been 7 months since) or is it because your marriage is unhappy and you just really don't want to be in it and are focusing on what you think you had with this former co-worker?

 

I don't think I am explaining this right; but maybe it isn't so much the x guy was so great, but moreso the fact that you are just so unhappy in the marriage and since you are not seeming to want to change that (like separate or divorce), you are 'remembering' an affair that really wasn't much but it is made much more so because your current state-of-affairs is so unhappy?