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How do I get her?


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Know this girl, who I have a ridiculous amount of chemistry with. Have not met a single person who hasn't noticed it when we are together. My most stubborn, callous friends, who normally would disagree with me on principal even admit this. She has a boyfriend of several years who is now about 1000 miles away, and will be there for at least 5 more years, but are really trying to make it work. The 2 of them together seem more like buddies than dating (and that is not a biased opinion, actually something their friends think is special about them) They met in college and all of his friends and her friends are now a big group of close friends.

There is an obvious connection there. The few times I have been with both of them, she focused all of her attention on me, giving me every non-verbal cue in the book (eye contact, touching, laughing, even avoiding talking about the boyfriend with me). I am crazy about her, and said something a while ago about it. It was sort of dropped, and after a while of awkwardness, the flirting has actually intensified.

I am thinking of saying something again, this time looking for some kind of answer. One thing about her is she is very selfless, I feel she would make a choice more about what she feels is 'right' versus what she may truly want (if she even realizes it herself). And right now she has all of her close friends completely loyal to him vs me, and would risk hurting him, and causing a big rift in this group. She is also a very good girl, and may not look at leaving her boyfriend for someone else much different than cheating. On top of that, only she knows who she wants more, me or him.

Regardless of what she feels and who she may be truly happier with, I fear the cards are stacked against me.

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This forum is full of posts from people who have been hurt in situations involving partners of others. In my opinion, you seem to be aware of the risk as you are wary that she will choose what she feels is right over all else. It's your risk. I think it would be wiser to actually ask her rather than letting this chemistry/flirting build and build and then have nothing at the end of it. At least if you ask her you will know for sure.

 

My advice? Don't settle for being less than number one in the heart of the one you care most for.

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Know this girl, who I have a ridiculous amount of chemistry with. Have not met a single person who hasn't noticed it when we are together. My most stubborn, callous friends, who normally would disagree with me on principal even admit this. She has a boyfriend of several years who is now about 1000 miles away, and will be there for at least 5 more years, but are really trying to make it work. The 2 of them together seem more like buddies than dating (and that is not a biased opinion, actually something their friends think is special about them) They met in college and all of his friends and her friends are now a big group of close friends.

There is an obvious connection there. The few times I have been with both of them, she focused all of her attention on me, giving me every non-verbal cue in the book (eye contact, touching, laughing, even avoiding talking about the boyfriend with me). I am crazy about her, and said something a while ago about it. It was sort of dropped, and after a while of awkwardness, the flirting has actually intensified.

I am thinking of saying something again, this time looking for some kind of answer. One thing about her is she is very selfless, I feel she would make a choice more about what she feels is 'right' versus what she may truly want (if she even realizes it herself). And right now she has all of her close friends completely loyal to him vs me, and would risk hurting him, and causing a big rift in this group. She is also a very good girl, and may not look at leaving her boyfriend for someone else much different than cheating. On top of that, only she knows who she wants more, me or him.

Regardless of what she feels and who she may be truly happier with, I fear the cards are stacked against me.

 

She is "taken" I know you think she is focusing on you and not her boyfriend .... and you are already thinking of excuses as to why she stays "she is so selfless..." :rolleyes:

 

But if she REALLY wanted to be with you; she would be.

 

You need to let it go and leave her be. Be her friend, but put any thought of anything else out of your head.

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