ladydesigner Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 I just wanted to throw this question out there because I saw this on another site and it is getting some interesting responses. While I know the obvious answer is no. It does seem like a majority have (myself included). My Dad cheated on his ex wife and my mom cheated on her ex husband and my dad. My Husband cheated on me and well it just seems like a lot of people cheat. I am not happy about being a BS or WS I wish this stuff just didn't happen. My view of monogamy is pretty much shattered. Would love to hear your views on this. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 No I don't think everyone cheats, I didn't/won't . Do I think that everyone sins....all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 This question should be posed to Mrs. Tiger. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 I don't believe in monotony.. oups.. monogamy.. I believe people can be faithful.. but for a short term.. definitely NOT long term.. not in these days and age.. temptations are all over.. the Internet makes it way easier ... work.. etc.. I also believe that MOST men cheat.. more than women .. still.. eventhough women stats.. are going up... but still women don't cheat for the same reason.. I also believe that ALL men would cheat if they have the opportunity to have the woman of their dreams.. and knowing for sure they would NEVER get caught.. It's easy for people to say they will never cheat.. when they've only been married for 2-3 years.. or they are still in their 20s-30s... Cheating happens for a lot of reason.. but the main ones being the lack of sex (for men) and the lack of emotional connection (for women).. Link to post Share on other sites
TheLoneSock Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 I don't believe in monotony.. oups.. monogamy.. I believe people can be faithful.. but for a short term.. definitely NOT long term.. not in these days and age.. temptations are all over.. the Internet makes it way easier ... work.. etc.. I also believe that MOST men cheat.. more than women .. still.. eventhough women stats.. are going up... but still women don't cheat for the same reason.. I also believe that ALL men would cheat if they have the opportunity to have the woman of their dreams.. and knowing for sure they would NEVER get caught.. It's easy for people to say they will never cheat.. when they've only been married for 2-3 years.. or they are still in their 20s-30s... Cheating happens for a lot of reason.. but the main ones being the lack of sex (for men) and the lack of emotional connection (for women).. So how does one combat this lack of emotional connection and sexual activity? Surely not all couples are doomed. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 I think there are many people who get divorced before moving on to their next relationship. Hence the high divorce rate. So, not I don't think everyone cheats. Just selfish ones. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ladydesigner Posted December 18, 2009 Author Share Posted December 18, 2009 I think there are many people who get divorced before moving on to their next relationship. Hence the high divorce rate. So, not I don't think everyone cheats. Just selfish ones. It truly is a selfish act. A tough pill to swallow that is for sure. Never really thought of myself as selfish until I had my A:( I really regret it. Link to post Share on other sites
datura_noir Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 I will put this out there- Many people "overlap" relationships; i.e., they become attracted to someone by spending time with them (usually on the sly), and things start to get a little serious, and they want to pursue the possibility of a relationship with them, therefore they start detatching from their spouse or SO, saying they "need their space", usually the spouse is in the dark, thinking they've grown apart. While technically not cheating, it is dishonest behavior. Alot of people do this serially throughout their life, easing out of one relationship and into another. Link to post Share on other sites
LakesideDream Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 LD, I don't think everyone cheats. I do believe lots of people cheat. Personally I didn't, and likely wont (58 years, not in a relationship) When I was younger it was certainly something that could, maybe might have happened. It just didn't. I have been cheated on. I think I would leave a relationship before I had an affair. In fact, at the age I am now, with the maturity I have I'm sure I would. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 This question should be posed to Mrs. Tiger. I didn't see anything about her cheating. If she did know that her H was cheating, this may be the last straw. If cheating were a spectrum disease, he would be at the severe side of the spectrum, IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 I'm 43, have many friends, know many people and know many people in great positions in life and I can tell you this, every single person I know, has cheated. It's not the type of people I know, it just is. I know a man who is one of the best oncologist in the world and he was on my friends pc (she is a doc with him) and he was called to an emergency so didn't log off the pc. My friend went to log on and saw he was logged into a chat on an S&M site and saw he was having a few affairs on his wife. I've cheated, all my ex's have and I think my BF may have. Now having said this, not once a cheater always a cheater since people who cheat either learn their "disaster" or are doomed to repeat the same soul sucking act. I learned from it. It happened 11 yrs ago and I grew spiritually from it. I think those who are spiritually mature and have an understanding of "true love" or "unconditional love" will never cheat. Many people cheat because the human ego is fragile and weak. Link to post Share on other sites
Fallen Angel Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 I hope not.... I still want a fairytale... *sigh* (Maybe someday my prince will come... just not holding my breath.... ) Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 I hope not.... I still want a fairytale... *sigh* (Maybe someday my prince will come... just not holding my breath.... ) It can happen but only when you cleanse your bad karma. You cannot have a happy healthy relationship while you're a cheater. Link to post Share on other sites
Fallen Angel Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 (edited) It can happen but only when you cleanse your bad karma. You cannot have a happy healthy relationship while you're a cheater. Thanks for your advice, but I am okay with the cleanliness of my 'karma' as I don't go around kicking people while they are down, and passing judgments on everyone while being unable to see my own failings as a human being, but thanks ever so much for your concern about my 'karma' Okay, it is one of those days for me.. lol.. maybe I will be less sarcastic tomorrow... Edited December 18, 2009 by Fallen Angel cause i know I am having 'one of THOSE days' Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Thanks for your advice, but I am okay with the cleanliness of my 'karma' as I don't go around kicking people while they are down, and passing judgments on everyone while being unable to see my own failings as a human being, but thanks ever so much for your concern about my 'karma' Okay, it is one of those days for me.. lol.. maybe I will be less sarcastic tomorrow... I was really not trying to kick you at all. sorry if it came off that way. I was only sharing how one can find true love. It cannot be found until you live a honest life. really, I was not being mean Link to post Share on other sites
Spoiled Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 To my knowledge, my parents did not experience cheating and I never experienced being cheated on when dating. Never thought I would be involved in an A because "I am too strong for that temptation" and "Who could be better than my H." Once I started my A and found out a sibling was having an A, I began wondering which friends, coworkers, and fellow church members also had such secrets. My guilt now has me paranoid. Link to post Share on other sites
John Who Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 (edited) I don't believe in monotony.. oups.. monogamy.. I believe people can be faithful.. but for a short term.. definitely NOT long term.. not in these days and age.. temptations are all over.. the Internet makes it way easier ... work.. etc.. I also believe that MOST men cheat.. more than women .. still.. eventhough women stats.. are going up... but still women don't cheat for the same reason.. I also believe that ALL men would cheat if they have the opportunity to have the woman of their dreams.. and knowing for sure they would NEVER get caught.. It's easy for people to say they will never cheat.. when they've only been married for 2-3 years.. or they are still in their 20s-30s... Cheating happens for a lot of reason.. but the main ones being the lack of sex (for men) and the lack of emotional connection (for women).. I had my A not for lack of sex I was getting plenty of sex from my W,my reason for having my EA was for lack of emotional connection. And no I do not think all people cheat,nor do I believe in once a cheat always a cheat. I also think the amount of women who cheat is about the same as men,it's just women are more sneaky about it,I would say they are better cheater's and are less likely to get caught. Edited December 18, 2009 by John Who Link to post Share on other sites
Spoiled Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 I had my A not for lack of sex I was getting plenty of sex from my W,my reason for having my EA was for lack of emotional connection. And no I do not think all people cheat,nor do I believe in once a cheat always a cheat. I also think the amount of women who cheat is about the same as men,it's just women are more sneaky about it,I would say they are better cheater's and are less likely to get caught. Glad you are confirming that men also have emotional needs. It flies around often that men ONLY cheat for sex. So true, I knew my xMM would be the one to get us caught. Even my H admitted how "good" I was at hiding my A. If men would listen more to women, they would know how to cheat better. lol Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 I know a man who is one of the best oncologist in the world ... he was logged into a chat on an S&M site An oncologist on an S&M site. That's just terrific. I wish I hadn't read that. I do believe that most MM have or will cheat on their W's at some point in their lifetime (or the life of their M). Those who don't cheat are faithful because they have to be (for whatever reason which has nothing to do with love) - health reasons; or they're too repulsive to attract the opposite sex; or they've lost all their mojo; etc. Or they are one of those rare rare birds that are truly in love with their W and she is the only one for them, period. I have personally never met any of these rare rare birds... but I've heard about them. They may not even exist. In fact, I have no proof that they actually do. Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 An oncologist on an S&M site. That's just terrific. I wish I hadn't read that. I do believe that most MM have or will cheat on their W's at some point in their lifetime (or the life of their M). Those who don't cheat are faithful because they have to be (for whatever reason which has nothing to do with love) - health reasons; or they're too repulsive to attract the opposite sex; or they've lost all their mojo; etc. Or they are one of those rare rare birds that are truly in love with their W and she is the only one for them, period. I have personally never met any of these rare rare birds... but I've heard about them. They may not even exist. In fact, I have no proof that they actually do. Then I won't tell you about the rest of the stuff she's told me about the other dr's I can say this, people who hit the floor if they knew what dr's said about their patients. And I too have not met one of these rare birds. I may have passed one ONCE in my 43 yrs :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Fallen Angel Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 An oncologist on an S&M site. That's just terrific. I wish I hadn't read that. Okay, i know it is off-topic but I just wanted to say I can see the attraction for someone in a job which makes them feel either "totally in control" or 'Totally without control' for S&M. The job of oncologist must leave someone feeling either one or the other (Either they develop a "God complex" and need to feel as though they can somewhere relinquish control, or they feel that despite their efforts they really have no control, and so being 'in charge' will draw them..) I don't know why that would be something you wish you hadn't read... I imagine that trying to cure and/or watching people die from cancer over and over would leave you feeling empty sometimes, there is nothing wrong with trying to find something that helps, as long as it is between two consenting adults. Now if it was my obstetrician/gynecologist, I may look differently at him the next time he came at me with that ice cold speculum, though I suspect most ob/gyns have a touch of sadist in them anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Okay, i know it is off-topic but I just wanted to say I can see the attraction for someone in a job which makes them feel either "totally in control" or 'Totally without control' for S&M. The job of oncologist must leave someone feeling either one or the other (Either they develop a "God complex" and need to feel as though they can somewhere relinquish control, or they feel that despite their efforts they really have no control, and so being 'in charge' will draw them..) I don't know why that would be something you wish you hadn't read... I imagine that trying to cure and/or watching people die from cancer over and over would leave you feeling empty sometimes, there is nothing wrong with trying to find something that helps, as long as it is between two consenting adults. Now if it was my obstetrician/gynecologist, I may look differently at him the next time he came at me with that ice cold speculum, though I suspect most ob/gyns have a touch of sadist in them anyway. you hit the nail on the head. It's very common for dr's (even gyno's) to be in extensive therapy. They have a god complex but yet are the most insecure bunch. My friend sits on a board with all sorts of dr's (I also worked in medical rsearch for 8 yrs and in med school now, yes at 43 yrs old) and can tell you, dr's are the sickest bunch! Not all, but many! In these weekly meetings they laugh about overweight women, dying people and many other nutty things. Sorry off topic, but thought I would share Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Why do you think I won't see a therapist? I don't want a doctor telling their friends about the nut with woman issues they had as a patient. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Just like everyone else here, I can only speak for myself when I say I would never cheat. I experienced my Mom cheating on my Dad and I experienced an ex cheating on me. I know the feeling of being betrayed and its one of the worst feelings in the world and for me to do that to someone I love is just flat out heartless and selfish and would make me lower then rat excrement. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Why do you think I won't see a therapist? I don't want a doctor telling their friends about the nut with woman issues they had as a patient. Since when do you care what other people think about you? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts