mybrowneyedgirl Posted December 6, 2009 Share Posted December 6, 2009 saw this thread at the bottom of something i posted on. it was over 60 days old so i couldnt respond, but... My xmm was about 15 years older. It was amazing. he had no trouble in that area whatsoever, and the age thing didnt really matter to us. he had kids later in life, me in my 20s so our kids are only a few years apart. this kept us interested in the same type of things. so anyone else? anyone have difficulties with having an older partner? Link to post Share on other sites
Fallen Angel Posted December 6, 2009 Share Posted December 6, 2009 Mine is only 7/8 years older (depends on the month). That tends to be the magic age for me, as all 3 of the serious long term relationships I have been in the man has always been 7 to 8 years older. When I was younger, before I married, I dated men closer to my age, but it never lasted long. *shrug* Though I would not be opposed to dating someone my own age or even younger, provided I felt a mental connection with them. (I do tend to feel more physically attracted to men a bit older than myself though.) But I don't think of My MM as 'an older man'. Seven or eight years is not a big difference.. we are for the most part compatible... enjoy the same movies, books etc.. the only thing we don't agree on is music.. as I tend to lean towards "college punk/rock/pop, and club dance music" and he is more "old school classic rock." Link to post Share on other sites
skylarblue Posted December 6, 2009 Share Posted December 6, 2009 MM is 27yrs older, the typical age that I like my guys. I don’t think I’ve ever had a sexual R with a guy less than 12yrs older. As I get older the age gap that I prefer widens. 17-early20’s typically guys 35-40yrs. Now that I’m in my late 20’s its guys 55-58yrs. It’s so weird. Have I had difficulties with having an older partner? Kinda. My bf (before/during MM) and I main problem was I want kids/M, he said he’s too old and NEVER wants kids/M. I went to the prom alone because my bf then was 21yrs older and embarrassed to go with me. An ex and his kids had problems because “dad was dating someone his daughter’s age” (I actually was a few yrs older). There have been times were we’ve noticed people staring or whispering. And several times have I or the guy I was with asked if I was an escort/hooker. Sexually, only two guys have had problems – my MM and my bf (before/during MM). My bf only started having problems years later as he got older. My MM had problems keeping it up from the first day. Both started taking Viagra. What’s funny is MM has never copped to taking them – like I didn’t notice the sudden change. He sometimes mentions how maybe he should “start” taking them, I think to have me stroke his ego about how he doesn’t need them. Link to post Share on other sites
hopeless4u Posted December 6, 2009 Share Posted December 6, 2009 Before my xMM I had always dated men younger than me, I had a 10 yr rule;) I was never attracted to men older than me. xMM is 7 yrs older than me and acts it most of the time. I'm still very young at heart so don't feel my age and most of the time I don't act it either but that said, being with xMM has calmed me down and made me see life in a different way I suppose. We have joked in the past that we meet in the middle, he calms me down just enough and I have shown him how to live a little!! Link to post Share on other sites
hopeless4u Posted December 6, 2009 Share Posted December 6, 2009 Before my xMM I had always dated men younger than me, I had a 10 yr rule;) I was never attracted to men older than me. xMM is 7 yrs older than me and acts it most of the time. I'm still very young at heart so don't feel my age and most of the time I don't act it either but that said, being with xMM has calmed me down and made me see life in a different way I suppose. We have joked in the past that we meet in the middle, he calms me down just enough and I have shown him how to live a little!! Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 so anyone else? anyone have difficulties with having an older partner? Nope! And my H is 14 years older... But he acts likes he's in his twenties so it's all good... GEL Link to post Share on other sites
Agent_99 Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 MW is 9 years older than me. Like another P said, our kids are close in age, which gives us something else in common. But I also prefer older women in my relationships. Right now I'm dating a few women, and the one closest to my age (besides MW) is 10 years older. ~Agent Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 My very first MM (who became my SO for 18 years) was 11 years older. He was the only older MM I had... now my oldest is 49.. my youngest is 26.. loving it that way.. Link to post Share on other sites
Impudent Oyster Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 MM is 27yrs older, the typical age that I like my guys. I don’t think I’ve ever had a sexual R with a guy less than 12yrs older. As I get older the age gap that I prefer widens. 17-early20’s typically guys 35-40yrs. Now that I’m in my late 20’s its guys 55-58yrs. It’s so weird. Have I had difficulties with having an older partner? Kinda. My bf So you're having unprotected sex and playing russian roulette with a pregnancy with a man in his late fifties? Does he know you're not using birth control? Careful, he might just have a hard attack if you turn up pregnant. Let's hope he doesn't have a temper. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 MBEG, again...why are you asking questions and comparing your ex-OM/MM to everyone else's? It's this pattern of thought that is preventing you from recovering your marriage. Stop focusing on him...start focusing on FIXING YOUR MARRIAGE. You CAN control this...the problem is...you choose not to. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mybrowneyedgirl Posted December 7, 2009 Author Share Posted December 7, 2009 Owl, im not sure what your problem is with me or why you are seeking out to criticize me. I wrote this post after reading another. Go back and read what i put. I am interested in this topic. Not as it relates to my MM but just the situation in general. GUESS WHAT! This isnt focusing on him. Its conversation, small talk, etc. I find the whole "affair" world and all these people involved to be quite interesting. I had no idea so many people had been part of something like this. I also had no idea that women really fell for older me. But come on. This post has nothing to do with focusing on him or my marriage recovering. Again, like the other posts you bashed i was wondering what others have been through. Link to post Share on other sites
Brokenlady Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 My DM is older than me by a bit more than 10 years. It's never been a problem. We get along quite well. In truth, the only real problem we had is that he was married and now just that he's having trouble letting go of his ex-wife and the marital trappings. He sacrifices the future to continue to mull over the unchangeable past. It's almost like he gets masochistic joy/relief out of the guilt he wallows in. Anyway, I'm getting off topic..... Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 MBEG, as I've replied on your other thread...I'll trouble you no more. Thank you for reminding me why I should have left this site long ago. Link to post Share on other sites
Snowflower Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 MBEG, as I've replied on your other thread...I'll trouble you no more. Thank you for reminding me why I should have left this site long ago. Well, Owl...you did help ME many months ago. Don't worry about it...sometimes you try to help but it isn't what the OP needs/wants. It's nice to see you back. Link to post Share on other sites
fooled once Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 saw this thread at the bottom of something i posted on. it was over 60 days old so i couldnt respond, but... My xmm was about 15 years older. It was amazing. he had no trouble in that area whatsoever, and the age thing didnt really matter to us. he had kids later in life, me in my 20s so our kids are only a few years apart. this kept us interested in the same type of things. so anyone else? anyone have difficulties with having an older partner? The affair I was in - he was 17 years older than me. His kids were grown. He did have problems with sex, but I am not sure if it was medical or guilt. Since we only had sex 3 times in 2 years, I can tell you that MY affair wasn't built on sex so for the posters who love to throw out "it isn't just about sex" - I understand it; but that doesn't mean I condone it. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 MBEG, as I've replied on your other thread...I'll trouble you no more. Thank you for reminding me why I should have left this site long ago. Owl Please don't give up on LS. For those who actually do want to save their marriage, your posts are invaluable. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mybrowneyedgirl Posted December 8, 2009 Author Share Posted December 8, 2009 i think this is more common than people think. ive confided in 3 of my closest friends about the affair. (one knew during). it turns out that all 3 of them had been with much older men at some point in life. I think one was an affair, the other two were not. I had even met one of these men and not realized how much older he was. Anyway, im a bit surprised at how common it is. You would think there would be significant problems with this but i guess theres not. We did joke about it as the 4 of us talked over dinner. We're all in our late 20s / early 30s. I asked "so when do they start needing viagra?" we all laughed and compared stories. And also interestingly - all agreed that sex with the older men was often very very good. Even the one who dated the guy who had "troubles" in that area. Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 sex with the older men was often very very good. Even the one who dated the guy who had "troubles" in that area. Wow maybe I should have had my A with an older man and not a younger one, because my XOM sucked in bed:laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
fooled once Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 Owl Please don't give up on LS. For those who actually do want to save their marriage, your posts are invaluable. I second that - your posts are truly INVALUABLE!!! Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 I'm not sure why the focus is on older MMs, in particular - OP, do you suspect that people go for a different kind of AP than they would for a normal R partner? For myself, the MMs I went for were no different to what would attract me otherwise (if one removed marital status from the equation). I prefer men that are older - always have done. It's a lifestage thing - women mature faster than men, and I'm looking for an equal, not someone I have to mother. Link to post Share on other sites
whatever_nevermind Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 I’ve always dated much older men. My D/MM is 20years older, but WE’VE never had any problems over it other than his daughter having problems accepting the R and age difference. Link to post Share on other sites
skylarblue Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 Originally Posted by impudent oyster So you're having unprotected sex and playing russian roulette with a pregnancy with a man in his late fifties? Does he know you're not using birth control? A little of topic but…Mid-fifties, yes. And he is quite and clearly aware that I am not or ever been on any type of birth control. Careful, he might just have a hard attack if you turn up pregnant. He and I both. Let's hope he doesn't have a temper. I don’t get what you’re implying… Link to post Share on other sites
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