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Famous Last Words


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I thought it would be great to get out any words that were said upon the A ending from the OW/OM/MW/MM that may have really hurt or stung in any way.

 

I would like to get my XOM's last words to me out of my head FOREVER so here goes. Guess it's part of my healing process a sort of setting myself free from his hurtful words.

 

1. "I'm sorry sweetheart the reason I am ending this is because I am not a liar" - The reason why any of the A happened was because we were both liars sheesh:rolleyes:

 

2. "Did you honestly think we were going to work out?" - Well actually no but those were the lies you were feeding me the whole time.

 

3. "It turns out my feelings for my GF were stronger than I thought." - okay...???...not what I was told:confused:

 

4. "Sorry but I just can't do this anymore and that I have broken your heart... but I still want to f**k you" - Well at least he was being honest:sick:

 

 

I'll try to think of some more but I just had to get these out there. I would like to hear some others out there, if they are as hideous as mine were. I have been out of the A for 1.5 years and have been NC for 4 months and am feeling great. Everytime I feel like contacting him again I just think of those famous last words.....

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lonelyandfrustrated

Well, I didn't know this guy was married, he told me he was divorced for six years--but later revealed that he was actually talking about his FIRST divorce, not the one that was still unfiled. So I dumped him, but then he kept showing up at the place I hung out, with women! I made it a point to go by his table and say, "Hello Bill, how ya doing? File that divorce yet?" Oddly, I never saw him with the same woman twice, lol.

 

Don't think that's what you're looking for, but I thought it was HILARIOUS!

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So I have only posted a few times but in short for those that dont know my story, I am an ow that was/is with a mm. 15 months ago he left his wife and 8 months ago we moved in together...he is still married and hasnt filed for divorce. This was what was just said to me yesterday

*I regret leaving my wife

*I resent and blame you for me not buying a house with her, your actions though not intentionally malicious were the direct cause of the pivotal moment in my marriage that it broke apart (this was 5 months into our affair)

*I regret not going to marriage counseling with my wife which is why I was willing to go with you.

*those are the reasons I have felt like **** for the past year and have walked all over you and treated you like ****. (he has cheated and lied a lot)

*but I love you

HA BUT I LOVE YOU????????????? Any thoughts anyone???

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So I have only posted a few times but in short for those that dont know my story, I am an ow that was/is with a mm. 15 months ago he left his wife and 8 months ago we moved in together...he is still married and hasnt filed for divorce. This was what was just said to me yesterday

*I regret leaving my wife

*I resent and blame you for me not buying a house with her, your actions though not intentionally malicious were the direct cause of the pivotal moment in my marriage that it broke apart (this was 5 months into our affair)

*I regret not going to marriage counseling with my wife which is why I was willing to go with you.

*those are the reasons I have felt like **** for the past year and have walked all over you and treated you like ****. (he has cheated and lied a lot)

*but I love you

HA BUT I LOVE YOU????????????? Any thoughts anyone???

 

Wow, he doesn't own any of his own s**t, does he?

 

How is it that he magically forgets that HE was the married person and made his OWN choices?

 

I am stunned.. I will hold him down for you while you kick him, hun!!

 

I am so sorry... ((HUGS))

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He said I don't love my W I love you. I didn't believe him.

 

He said if I don't see you, it's not because of you it's because of her. I believed it.

 

He said if we couldn't be friends then he would suffer.

 

He said he wanted to run away with me, but that we were both married.

 

He said he was getting on well with his W, but that he thought about me all the time (WTF?)

 

I said we should call it a day!

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Boundary Problem

For me it was the disconnect between the actions and the words.

 

The words were proper words for a proper and loyal married man.

 

The actions and effort to faciliate an A were in contrast to his words.

 

 

Indication #1 of dishonesty.

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To the slimeball who tried to seduce half the cast and nearly succeeded with me:

 

"You know, I'm all for open marriages, so if you want me, get permission from your wife!"

 

In front of someone whose young daughter he was mentoring.

 

Watch him backpedal...

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  • 2 weeks later...
I thought it would be great to get out any words that were said upon the A ending from the OW/OM/MW/MM that may have really hurt or stung in any way.

 

Not last words, but words in a fight. A discussion about the status of our affair became heated in a public forum, and I was asking for the dignity to at least have the conversation in private if she were breaking up with me. Her response: "'Breaking up' suggests that there is something there TO break up..."

 

Maybe it's not cheating if you never acknowledge there's a relationship with someone else? Since then I have made clear to her that while I am not asking for any long-term commitment, and I do not need a "name" for whatever this is, it was cruel of her and unfair and she should never dismiss whatever it is we do have as "nothing" again. She apologized and agreed.

 

With two women it is so-o-o-o much fun when you synch up AND have all this external drama already inherent in the relationship! :o Then go out in public and really have some fun!!

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I guess I kind of hoped I would never have anything to add to this discussion but unfortunately I have:o

 

After he was caught and his W and him had kept me up all night with txt's and phone calls, her wanting to know the truth and him keeping me up to date with his lies I went into work, looking like ****,

he said 'my marriage is over, i've slept in the car, just going to my mums. I won't be going back home, I'm so sorry for keeping you up all night, I'll keep you posted'

 

Next thing his W is telling me they are going to work on their M.

 

MEN!!

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OWW, ooh, that must have hurt. :(

 

Yeah, it did. Like a slap in the face.

 

But I can empathize that it is what she needed to do to protect herself, not to acknowledge what I actually do mean to her. And because I do have self-respect (despite some of the questions / claims by others about OWs in general), it was why when we were in a less emotionally-charged atmosphere, I made very clear that such comments would not be tolerated in the future. That they were not fair...

 

Despite the cynicism my next comments are sure to draw, we are in the very early stages and she is confused. We didn't expect this to happen. Her marriage has issues, and I've certainly witnessed him act like an insensitive bozo. But I don't know that their issues are anything extraordinary than to be expected after as many years of marriage. And I'm not looking to end her marriage. Nor is she, at this point, although when he does act like a bozo night after night, sometimes, I can imagine her reconsidering...

 

But, while certainly sometimes painful, I do recognize her comments intended to distance me are intended to protect herself from what has happened. Perhaps to put it into a box and be able to move on, again, with her life. I respect her desire to do that. I respect her need to do that.

 

We may end up continuing this, or we may end it at some point and move on in our separate directions. It is too soon to tell. But either way, I'll respect her decisions, even if they hurt; as I suspect she'll respect mine since she keeps hoping I'll meet someone nice who can be there for me 100%. In the meantime, I try to enjoy the good times and connections, and minimize the hard ones.

 

And thanks for the support - this has been the first place I can share that wound. That's the hardest part of all this. I didn't have anyone's shoulder I could cry on about it - the only other person who knew about us was her.

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In a text message:

 

"I'm sorry to hurt you but my feelings have changed and I know that you still love me. Take care of yourself."

 

uggh.

 

But I don't need to be told twice. I took him at his word and stopped contacting him and it was much much easier to ignore his attempts to contact me.

 

Good to remind myself of this conversation when I am pining for him...

 

x

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In a text message:

 

"I'm sorry to hurt you but my feelings have changed and I know that you still love me. Take care of yourself."

 

uggh.

 

But I don't need to be told twice. I took him at his word and stopped contacting him and it was much much easier to ignore his attempts to contact me.

 

Good to remind myself of this conversation when I am pining for him...

 

x

 

Ouch - how long had you been seeing each other?

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My MM and I went out for a beer one night and just talked. When I got home he texted me to say he had a good time, which then turned into a phone conversation with him basically listing all of the things wrong with me and that I need to work on. I was like, WTF? And he's like, "I can tell you all this because I've had a few drinks and I really like you and we're friends." (Umm...if you like me so much, why are you pummeling me?) That was the last time I talked to him.

 

But the funniest thing he said that night was "I can see through your bull**** with my radar." That still cracks me up.

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In a text message:

 

"I'm sorry to hurt you but my feelings have changed and I know that you still love me. Take care of yourself."

 

uggh.

 

But I don't need to be told twice. I took him at his word and stopped contacting him and it was much much easier to ignore his attempts to contact me.

 

Good to remind myself of this conversation when I am pining for him...

 

x

 

We had had a torrid affair for approx six months and after he left for teacher training in the South Pacific (!) we stayed in touch... pretty frequently, two or three texts a week and then emailing regularly too. But it was pretty clear that he wasn't going to come back for me and when I pressed him on it, that was the response I got. I guess he had been gone for six months so technically a year after everything began...

 

I don't regret anything, just the fact that I should have let him go properly and closed the door the day he left the country. The still hanging on and still hoping makes me feel pretty foolish, even now.

 

 

x

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GreenEyedLady
I thought it would be great to get out any words that were said upon the A ending from the OW/OM/MW/MM that may have really hurt or stung in any way.

 

I would like to get my XOM's last words to me out of my head FOREVER so here goes. Guess it's part of my healing process a sort of setting myself free from his hurtful words.

 

1. "I'm sorry sweetheart the reason I am ending this is because I am not a liar" - The reason why any of the A happened was because we were both liars sheesh:rolleyes:

 

2. "Did you honestly think we were going to work out?" - Well actually no but those were the lies you were feeding me the whole time.

 

3. "It turns out my feelings for my GF were stronger than I thought." - okay...???...not what I was told:confused:

 

4. "Sorry but I just can't do this anymore and that I have broken your heart... but I still want to f**k you" - Well at least he was being honest:sick:

 

 

I'll try to think of some more but I just had to get these out there. I would like to hear some others out there, if they are as hideous as mine were. I have been out of the A for 1.5 years and have been NC for 4 months and am feeling great. Everytime I feel like contacting him again I just think of those famous last words.....

 

OMG! Every time you feel weak you should come back here and read what an ass your XMM is.

 

I can't believe he's still alive...

 

GEL

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