movinon05 Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 I'm a former OW. My back story is well documented here. In short, I was a MW having an affair with a MM, for the better part of 7 years. Never looked for it, never dreamed it would be me, and yet, it happened. There was more hurt, tears, pain, agony and anxiety for all of our families than I ever could have imagined. It finally ended 5 years ago. So why am I here? For a long time, I was always hoping I could come back with something positive, that could lift someone else out of this hell. After reading just a few threads, I was moved by Fallen Angel and Didi. Although I haven't read all the details, I don't really have to, because I've already lived it. And I was moved to finally post. So I'm here to say that it is possible to go on. To move on. To live a happier life without that MM. 5 years ago I was freed and never looked back, even though MM still made attempts. I ignored them. I started living. And I can tell you it was the BEST thing I ever did for myself and for my children. I was no longer unhappy. I made a new life for myself. I made new friends. I joined activities that I always wanted to do. I dated again. And I laughed again. It was the most freeing thing because I allowed myself to do so. That's not to say I never felt pain, but I was hell bent and determined to never go back. All the while, I still hoped and dreamed I'd find someone for me. Someone so special who would treat me the way I wanted to be treated. Who was unselfish and would love me unconditionally. After my horrible experiences in my marriage and my A, I knew I would NEVER accept anything less. So I kept searching. And then I finally stopped searching. Because I wanted to learn to just love me for who I am. And maybe even accept the fact that I might never find him. It was when I stopped searching, that I found him in the most wonderful way. And how amazed am I that he was my childhood sweetheart! He is all I dreamed of and more. And I cry sometimes, overwhelmed and full of gratitude. So I'm here today to tell you. It is possible. There is someone out there who WILL love you the way you want to be loved. And you don't have to suffer. Love should not be painful. Real love is joyful. It is exuberant! And until you learn to love yourself more, you will never allow yourself the chance to find out. Please... give yourselves a chance. Love yourself more! I am living proof of a real fairytale ending! I wrote this a few years ago to purge that relationship from my soul and put it into real perspective. Perhaps it will have a ring of truth for you. The truth is There is no right or wrong When you're in the fog... The passion grabs hold of you And keeps drawing you back. The truth is you'll do whatever it takes Just to be loved And worry about the consequences later. Because the truth is You are soulmates, he told you so. And the end justifies the means. And you ride the waves of loneliness and despair, But the joy in his arms and the fire in his bed makes it all worthwhile. The truth is There's no such thing as No. When he calls, you go, When he asks, you give, And then you give some more. And when he lies, you forgive, Because one day you know The truth is... There will be no more reason to lie. The truth is You know it will all be alright It just needs time... And the hours become days... The months become years... Until one day the fog lifts. And God reaches down with his hands. He lifts the veil of clouds that surround you And carries them off with the breeze. And the air is clear. And you realize the truth is... There is no truth to the words Nor the deeds. And when he tells you he is leaving tomorrow For good, The truth speaks to you. You know you will never hear from him again, At least not tomorrow. And you have a laugh with the girls, Its New Year's Eve! You raise your glasses and drink to Your tomorrows Because you know... The truth is... The truth has finally set you free. Movinon 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 Hey movinon.. Thanks for sharing here your post really touched my heart as I see so much of myself in your story. And you know to love yourself is the key. So glad you are in a happy place. It's nice to see someone come back with such positive and uplifting news. Thank you. Mea:) Link to post Share on other sites
1Angel Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 This post is heartwarming, you go! Link to post Share on other sites
fooled once Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 What an awesome post!! I saw myself in what you wrote. And you are right, time and the truth will set you free. And when you quit looking for love, and focus on yourself, love can come up and slap you in the face After my affair ended, I told myself "no more men!" Within a few months, I met my H And while we have had moments of hurt, frustration and anger ~ we have worked through it because the foundation of our relationship was built on love and trust. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 My thoughts exactly. Awesome post! I hope it inspires and makes people stop and think..outside the realm of their affair and see the bigger picture. Link to post Share on other sites
Spark1111 Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Beautiful poem! Congratulations on loving yourself first! Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Just throwing in here that I like it too. It is touching on many levels for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Luckyluss Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Woaw, this gave me a little hope! Just broken up with my MM 2 weeks ago and trying to change my mind by going out and having fun. I've been dating others while I was seeing him, no one compares so far but I'll keep trying until I find one who treats me the way I'd like to be treated. Meantime, I'm also making new friends, going out, taking a class, all by the book. I'm sometimes very sad but feel empowered and know it could only get better from here on. Thanks for posting! Link to post Share on other sites
fooled once Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Woaw, this gave me a little hope! Just broken up with my MM 2 weeks ago and trying to change my mind by going out and having fun. I've been dating others while I was seeing him, no one compares so far but I'll keep trying until I find one who treats me the way I'd like to be treated. Meantime, I'm also making new friends, going out, taking a class, all by the book. I'm sometimes very sad but feel empowered and know it could only get better from here on. Thanks for posting! Keep doing what you are doing Lucky!! It is okay to be sad - you are grieving the end of a relationship. Just don't be consumed by it and let it control YOU! One step at a time -- keep going forward, not backward! Link to post Share on other sites
Fallen Angel Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 Thank You. Link to post Share on other sites
hopeless4u Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 Great post, certainly one to read on those long lonely nights when I feel like I'm weakening!! Thank You:love: Link to post Share on other sites
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