stylistlady Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 I have been married for 3 years now and had never cheated on my husband before. We married very young I was 19 and he 21. He is in the military so when we married i moved away to be with him. That was honestly the hardest thing i have ever had to do in my life. He left for his third deployment in August. He wasn't really very nice to me before he left but after it just got worse. If i answered the phone wrong he would get very angry and yell at me. No matter what i said or what i did for him it was never right. Meanwhile an acquaintance of mine from the internet had begun to contact me more and more. Normally I wouldn't have even talked to another man on the phone. We slowly started talking more and more until we were texting from when we woke to when he called me every night. We would talk for at least an hour every night. He wanted to listen to me! He really was interested in what i had to say. I had honestly never seen that from my husband before and it was so exciting to have that. After talking on a daily basis for about 2 months he flew here to spend the weekend with me. I was terrified to meet him b/c i knew the whole time that what i was doing was wrong. I lied to everyone about what i was doing that weekend even my best friend. We had the most amazing time together, and yes we did sleep together. Unfortunately that weekend had to end (it has been about a month ago). Of course after he left he was all i could think about. By this point in time what got me by everyday was looking forward to the next text from him or the next call or email. it never failed to make me smile to see his name pop up on my phone. well.... about two weeks after it all happened I started having some guilt. I tried to just brush it off but my husband had sensed that something was bad wrong and had honestly been trying ALOT harder. One night after a few drinks I couldn't help but to cry when he asked me what was wrong. I told him everything no details left out. He was devastated to say the least. It honestly hurt me to know that i had hurt him so bad. He automatically forgave me and told me that we were going to be stronger for this and work things out. It took me a couple of days, but i finally told the other man that i felt like i was being unfair to us all and that i needed to give my marriage another chance. I really dont know what i expected him to do, but he did leave me alone. Every single minute of the day for the next week was horrible,all i wanted more than anything was to hear from him. I even sent him a couple of "have a good day" texts just to see his name pop up on my phone. On the other hand my husband has become a total different person. The change that i have seen in him is for sure for the better. He is doing so much for me, saying so many nice things, sending me things,and really opening up to me. For awhile he was actually smothering me (that part wasnt good). anyways to shorten this up some where i am now is that i really believe that what i need to do for myself is try to make things work out with my husband, but i cant stop thinking about the other guy. I know the fact that he is amazingly handsome doesn't help me to forget him either. well sorry for babbling, but i need help i really dont know what i'm doing. my husband gets home in about a week and i'm so scared. Link to post Share on other sites
jennie-jennie Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 Well, honey, you are obviously in love with the other man. But you seem willing to give your marriage another chance. Just a word of warning. When my SO got competition, he became the most wonderful partner - for a month, then he was back to his usual self. You have to look inside yourself. If you value your marriage more than the feelings of love you have for the other man, then you are doing the right thing. It is your life, your happiness at stake. What do you want for yourself in the future? Link to post Share on other sites
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