jennifer4 Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 I've been reading and getting some strength from hearing everyones story. I was on here a while back talking about the mm I was in an EA with. We haven't taken it any further. Well about 5-6 weeks ago a friend from high school contacted me through fb. An EA started. He's been married 14 yrs. He says it's a happy marriage but as weeks went by he stated that he was in love with me. I can hear it now. How? It's so soon! I agree, he's a nice guy but still he's cheating. We don't live in the same state so no fear of it going physical. He calls me twice a day. Well this morning when he called I told him I can't do this anymore. I have tremendous guilt. His wife doesn't deserve this. I don't deserve this. I told him that if it really is meant to be that it will work out someday, somehow, without the pressure of me. If he decides to leave her it's going to be because he wants to. I think I do love him and that's hard to believe and it's scarey. He told me he has alot to think about which he really does. I just wanted to get this out. Not sure what I'm looking for. thanks for listening. Jen Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 He's been married 14 yrs. He says it's a happy marriage but as weeks went by he stated that he was in love with me. How do you let yourself fall back inlove with someone from your past? Someone who hasn't been in your life AT ALL. Jennifer, this is TWO MM now.. You know what's what. End it now. The 'friendship' is sooo pointless. If you want a relationship, find a single guy! Seriously, you're wasting time and energy on these MM. Stay strong and maybe take time alone, figure out why you keep allowing yourself to fall for taken men. Sure they may be putting themselves 'out there' for an affair, but is that something you truly want? To be someone's side dish? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jennifer4 Posted November 27, 2009 Author Share Posted November 27, 2009 I agree with you 100%. That's why I told him I can't continue. Believe me I'd love to find a single guy. I really am not looking for anything. We starting talking and the feelings started. I'm glad that I can end it though because I do deserve more. His wife deserves more! I appreciate your input. This is tough but I'll make it. Link to post Share on other sites
fooled once Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 How do you let yourself fall back inlove with someone from your past? Someone who hasn't been in your life AT ALL. Jennifer, this is TWO MM now.. You know what's what. End it now. The 'friendship' is sooo pointless. If you want a relationship, find a single guy! Seriously, you're wasting time and energy on these MM. Stay strong and maybe take time alone, figure out why you keep allowing yourself to fall for taken men. Sure they may be putting themselves 'out there' for an affair, but is that something you truly want? To be someone's side dish? I totally agree with whichway. Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 If only more people were like you, there'd probably be a lot less heartache in the world. i am glad that you are willing to "do the right thing". IMO, you should take great pride in that. you deserve someone who is free to love and be with only you. I hope that you are able to find a guy like that- they are out there! agreed. I think it's great you're smart enough to know better. Cheaters can learn a lot from you Link to post Share on other sites
freestyle Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 Just curious, have you noticed him using some of the same lines as the man from a couple of months ago did? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jennifer4 Posted November 28, 2009 Author Share Posted November 28, 2009 seriously not at all. This feels completely different. I'm having a rough night. He emailed me and said it's probably best if we have no contact and if things change he might contact me : ( why am I upset? this sucks. I know it's for the best. He also deleted me as a friend on fb.. This sucks. I hope I did the right thing. I know deep down I did, but I feel like ****. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 Yes you did. And he did the right thing by deleting you off of fb. Did you two actually 'see' eachother, or was this all online? Because online things can seem much more intense, words jump off the page a certain way and it's real easy to fall for what's been said on screen, very fantasy-like. Anyway, you KNOW things won't change with him.. WTF is that though? Think about it .. If things change, I MIGHT contact you.. Don't hold your breath. Stay single for a while, be with women friends. Somehow you are able to let yourself become too emotionally attached/involved quickly.. I know you're hurting, but you did the right thing. Better to hurt abit now rather than deal with a huge amount of hurt later on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jennifer4 Posted November 28, 2009 Author Share Posted November 28, 2009 He calls me twice a day 5 days a week. we talk for an hour each time at least. We text and email. ALso chat on fb. I do need to move on. I guess I was hoping he'd show up at my door. I'm a fool. It will be tough. I will make it though, have no choice. Link to post Share on other sites
fooled once Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 You aren't a fool but you something is 'causing' you to continue to attach yourself to married men. I do agree with the poster who said you need to be single for awhile. And then do NOT LET any man who is married into your life. There are lines that shouldn't be crossed and for whatever reason, you keep crossing them (as do these men). You do have the choice to say no ..... so keep saying it. I am sorry you are hurting....things will get better!! Link to post Share on other sites
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